Kirsteen Williamson was a remarkable woman in more ways than one.
Most people know of her rags to riches life story. Of how a troubled young girl from an impoverished background in Lutton became one of the most acclaimed rock singer/songwriters of her generation. (Find me a female or a British singer of the past 30 years who hasn’t been inspired by her in some way?)
Sadly we also all know how Kirsteen like so many other great talents before her succumbed to drugs, alcohol and depression and eventually vanished mysteriously into the night of the 30th of November in the year 1989. There was even a widespread conspiracy theory that she had been abducted by aliens!
Ironically however very few people know of Kirsteen’s greatest accomplishments, her journey’s through time and space, her battles with the undead and her encounter with the creator of all things.
This is the true story of Kirsteen Williamson, and of the incredible man who made all of this possible for her. Professor Fang!
Its hard to imagine a time when Kirsteen wasn’t so utterly beloved. You’d be hard pushed to find anyone who has a bad word to say about her nowadays either professionally or personally. Her albums are still best sellers, and according to all who ever worked with her, she was the loveliest woman. There have been countless books, documentaries and even a really crappy film made about her life.
“A Star Vanishes Into The Night”, which was released in 1997 was a truly terrible movie. It was the usual sensationalised bullshit that films about the lives of dead celebrities almost always are, but ironically the thing that it was most widely ridiculed for, the ending where Kirsteen is abducted by aliens is actually closer to the truth than people know.
In 1989 Kirsteen was at the very bottom of her fame and personal life. Her last album had been released in 1984 and it hadn’t exactly been her greatest work. Even today, whilst not as badly thought of as it was at the time, its still looked on as being a somewhat unspectacular end to a once glittering career.
Furthermore Kirsteen had become a laughing stock around the world. Her personal problems had gotten so out of control, that they had completely eclipsed all of her musical accomplishments.
Kirsteen at her core was a deeply lonely person whose friends and family had all either passed on or abandoned her.
Kirsteen’s mother had died when she was just 3 years old and so she was raised by her father and older brother. She grew up as a bit of a Tomboy and was very popular at her school with the boys as a result. In her teen years she often hung around with a rough crowd, got into trouble regularly, and was eventually expelled at the age of 17 for smoking dope.
Music had been the young Kirsteen’s salvation. She had always had an interest in it, but it was only after being kicked out of school with virtually no qualifications that she turned to music as a way of earning her keep. There was no way her father was going to just let her laze around.
Kirsteen would play around clubs and pubs for years until she scored her first big break at the age of just 24 in 1970, after she was spotted by a record manager during one of her performances.
She’d go on to dominate the charts for the next 10 or so years, becoming a sensation to rival the Beatles themselves.
Sadly however it was in 1979 that her life spiralled out of control. Kirsteen had not touched drugs or booze since she was a teenage girl. Her father had convinced her not to after she was booted from school, but sadly when Kirsteen’s father and brother were both killed in a car accident, she fell back into both habits quite fast.
Her marriage ended due to her drug use. Her husband Paul did love her at one point, but he simply couldn’t cope with her problems and constant attention she brought to their door. He was also a somewhat weak, selfish man overall.
Paul started to cheat on Kirsteen behind her back for years until she found out which just further pushed her down a bad road. She made a complete fool of herself in several interviews and soon became better known for her antics. She became an international punchline.
She also lost most of her fortune due to being betrayed by her agent who took advantage of the poor women during her lowest eb.
By 1989, Kirsteen was living in alone in a small, run down house in the middle of London.
All of her friends had long since abandoned her too. They had started out sympathetic to her drug use and depression but as time went on, the more she didn’t really do anything to help herself, the more they left. One by one.
She did eventually get clean in 1987. She hoped that she could perhaps rebuild her life and career, but sadly neither the public or her former friends were interested in her anymore. Many of her so called friends had never really cared for Kirsteen anyway. Much like her worthless husband they were only there for her when she was a global sensation.
Kirsteen didn’t think her life could get any worse. She’d spend hours everyday thinking about the people she’d lost or who had walked out on her and sometimes she’d be tempted to drink as a result. Still she always held back, as she was determined that she was going to prove the people who abandoned her wrong.
Kirsteen would finally be given a chance for a fresh start, under the most unusual circumstances, when on the 30th of November her neighbourhood was visited by a craft from another world.
The ship was massive and triangular shaped. It covered almost all of the houses in the neighbourhood. It arrived at 3 O’Clock in the morning when everyone was asleep. Still the buzzing noise the craft made woke up one Kirsteen’s neighbours Dave. Dave at the time was dismissed as a crackpot of course, but he would insist for the rest of his life that Kirsteen had been abducted by aliens.
Kirsteen herself was sound asleep when the ship hovered above her neighbourhood and teleported her on board, after which it vanished back into the black sky in an instant, and left this world.
Kirsteen awoke several hours later in a large, cold, dark room. Her first thoughts were “oh no have I been drinking again?” She thought she must have given in to temptation last night and made a fool of herself to the point where she had been lifted. “Not again” she thought. So much for proving she had left this behind her.
However as Kirsteen looked around she noticed that this was not like any prison or police station she had ever been in before (and she’d been in quite a few.)
It was so dark she could hardly see anything, but at the very end of the room Kristeen was able to make out what looked like a door that had been left open. She didn’t want to leave as she was in enough trouble, she thought for whatever she must have done when she was drunk last night. Still as time went on she felt she couldn’t wait here any longer. Not knowing what she did last night was absolute hell. She went up to the door and shouted out for a policeman. There was no answer. She shouted again, but this time she heard a screaming sound.
She was scared. Had the criminals overrun the station perhaps? Why else would the door be left open. “I can’t just wait here until some crazy decides to pick me off.” She thought to herself, and so she slowly and quietly crept out of the room, scared at what she would find on the other side.
She saw a long, still very dark corridor, with metallic, purple walls.
There was also a foul stench in the corridor too. It smelled like rotting meat and was quite overwhelming. At the other end of the corridor, Kirsteen could saw what looked like a shambling, shaggy figure come staggering from around the corner.
It was moaning and screaming. He must be on drugs” Kirsteen thought to herself as she slowly backed away.
Just then however the figure spotted Kirsteen and like a bolt of lightening it sped towards her.
As the figure drew closer Kirsteen could see that its face was horribly disfigured. Its flesh, which was bright green was rotting and hanging from its face in certain parts. The expression on its face was also a combination of anger and agony.
Kirsteen ran as fast as she could from the monster down the other end of the corridor, but it caught up to her in no time and threw her violently to the ground.
As Kirsteen struggled to get back up, she could hear the monster speaking. Its voice was deep and booming and surprisingly clear.
“I will tear your body into thousands of pieces. I will crush your bones into nothing but powder and I will do it to spare you. Spare you from ending up like me!”
Kirsteen could see just ahead of her, a door that led into what looked like a small, cramped bedroom. It didn’t look like the most secure shelter, but it was better than nothing. If she tried to run back where she came corridor, the monster would surely catch her and the other end of the corridor looked neverending..
Kirsteen jumped up and ran as fast as she could to the room. The creature followed her however, and before Kirsteen could shut the door, the monster managed to ram its full body against it.
Kirsteen struggled to try and push the beast back, but its strength was far too great. Eventually it pushed Kirsteen back and she landed on the floor beside the bed in the centre of the room.
Kirsteen however didn’t give up. She scrambled to her feet, and fetched for anything she could use in the room as a weapon.
As she looked around however, she saw much to her horror the corpse of a young woman lying on the bed.
The woman had stabbed a knife into her chest, and there was blood dripping from her mouth. She looked as though she had died very recently.
“Foolish girl. She thought she’d escape that way. She will now join us. I’ll make you sure you don’t”. The figure said to Kirsteen.
Kirsteen reached for a vase that was on a small cupboard behind her. She threw it at the creature but it did little to deter him.
Desperate, Kirsteen reached for the knife that was embedded in the woman’s chest, and started slashing at the monster that was now grabbing her in its rotting stinking hands.
Kirsteen slashed and stabbed at the monsters eyes, its throat, and its hands . The monsters strength was unlike anything she had ever felt before, and she could feel her arm that it was clutching slowly starting to break! Still she fought and hacked and hacked at the monsters, hand that was grabbing her until she cut it off.
Though the creature was strong, its flesh was still rotting and somehow putrid and weak. Kirsteen stabbed the monster in the heart and managed to push it out of the door, which she then shut. (Though she had to give up the knife in the process.)
Though the monster was stronger than her, it was reeling in pain from the loss of its hand.
The monster started slamming at the door with its single hand and Kirsteen knew that it would get through eventually.
She searched around for another way out. She could see what looked like a ventalation system at the other end of the room. As she went towards it however, the corpse on the bed suddenly rose up.
Kirsteen screamed and ran back to the other end of the room, but there was nowhere to run.
The Zombie, Monster, or whatever it was that she had pushed out into the hall had already smashed the door down with its single remaining hand.
Trapped between two undead ravenous creatures, Kirsteen quickly pulled the knife out of the male Zombies chest and ran towards the ventalation system. The female Zombie tried to grab her, but Kirsteen hacked at its hand to such an extent that she managed to cut it off too.
Kirsteen jumped on the bed and then from there into the ventalation system. Again the female Zombie however managed to grab on Kirsteen’s foot. She couldn’t reach down with her knife however and so instead she struggled, eventually being able to pull her foot out of her shoe.
Kirsteen managed to crawl through the vents, not even knowing where she was going. The two Zombies meanwhile had crawled up after her but she had a good head start on them. Unfortunately however at the other end of vent, another Zombie soon crawled out of the darkness in front of her.
The way ahead was so dark that Kirsteen didn’t see at first. She hadn’t made that much noise crawling in the vents, but the monster could sense her very soul.
She couldn’t go back, so Kirsteen instead started to hit the grate in front of her with her knife to try and break it.
She could see in the dark corridor below more creatures shuffling around aimlessly. There were at least 7 of them. There’s no way she could fight the monsters off, so she would just have to try and outrun them.
She kept hacking and stabbing at the grate but sadly she wasn’t fast enough and the two monsters from either side grabbed her from either arm and started pulling.
Kirsteen felt like her arms were being pulled out of their sockets as she struggled against the inhuman strength of the Zombies. Just when all seemed lost for Kirsteen, the grate opened. The two Zombies stopped and stared down at the figure that had pulled the grate out with its bare hands.
It was a frail looking Chinese old man. He had long, flowing white hair, a thick white mustache, and was dressed entirely in black. He wore a long, flowing black cape and carried what looked like a stick made entirely of gold, that was glowing.
He reached in for Kirsteen who was too weak to fight back and pulled her onto the ground. The two Zombies quickly followed, but with two smacks of his stick to their throats he sent the undead brutes crashing to the ground.
The old man grabbed Kirsteen by the arm and hoisted her up. “Come there’s too many of them we need to get somewhere safe.”
His voice was strong, and commanding, yet Kirsteen for some reason felt safe with him. Using his stick he batted the other Zombies away with his gold stick. He and Kirsteen made their way down the corridor ahead, but when they turned a corner they came across 8 more Zombies.
“Where the hell did they come from.” The old man said angrily. He searched around for anywhere to escape to. “Cover your eyes” he said to Kirsteen as he held his cane up. A bright flash appeared at the top of the cane which send the Zombies scattering. The old man then grabbed Kirsteen and ran through the Zombies as they were dazed, batting more of them away with his cane. At the other end of the corridor were two doors, but as the old man made his way to open them, suddenly a rotting, clawed hand came smashing through one of the two doors.
The hand ripped the door off its hinges, whilst the other door was soon struck so hard it from the other side that it went flying through the air, with the old man and Kirsteen managing to dodge it just in time.
A figure then emerged from the dark corridor. It stood roughly 8 feet tall. Kirsteen couldn’t quite make it out at first, but when it stepped into the light she could see one half of its face was completely burned off. The other side of his face was covered in deep scars, whilst his clothes were ragged, and his body was covered in horrific wounds. The monster let out a roar and the old man instantly ran back the way through the Zombies, pulling Kirsteen with him.
The Zombies however had recovered and grabbed hold of both of them. All seemed lost as Kirsteen and the old man were trapped between several horrific, ravenous monsters.