Top 10 Vampires

In this article I am not going to be looking at 10 individual Vampire characters. Instead I will be looking at ten different takes on Vampires, in ten different works of fiction such as Buffy, Blade, Discworld etc.

When used properly I think Vampires can be the most effective supernatural creatures, as more can be done with them than many others.

Hopefully you will see that in this list as I look at my ten favourite interpretations of Vampires.

As always all opinions are mine and tell me what are  your favourite Vampires in the comments below.

10/ Doctor Who Vampires

Lesser Vampires

The Great Vampires

Haemovores

Venice Vampires

Also Known As: The Great Vampires, Haemovores, Satuynarians.

Powers and Abilities: The Great Vampires are indestructable and can only be killed by having their hearts completely destroyed. They can drain the blood of billions of worlds at once. Their servants meanwhile possess many of the standard Vampire powers, super strength, immortality, hypnotic powers, control over animals etc. Haemovores have super strength and durability, being capable of withstanding a round of heavy machine gun fire to the chest with no ill effect.

Weaknesses: Great Vampires can be killed by having their hearts completely destroyed, their minions are vulnerable to sunlight, and can be killed by a stake to the heart. Haemovores can be hurt by human belief in something. It creates a psychic barrier that prevents them from coming near.

How Do They Reproduce: The Great Vampires can turn people into creatures similar to them through their mind alone, regular Vampires have to mix their blood with other life forms to make them their own kind.

Unique Attributes: The Great Vampires can drain the blood from all of the life forms in an entire solar system at once.

Monster Relatives: None

Other Supernatural Creatures: Aliens obviously exist in the Doctor Who universe, and though they are not supernatural per se, many of them have given rise to myths about certain supernatural creatures. For instance many myths about Witches stem from extraterrestrials known as the Carrionites and Magic in Doctor Who is explained away as being a form of advanced science that uses words rather than numbers for equations.

Despite this however a few other genuinely supernatural creatures do still exist seemingly in the Whoniverse.

Demons appear to exist. There is an ancient Demon known as the Beast who claims to have come from before the Universe’s existence, and to be the source of all horned creatures in all mythologies across the universe including Satan. He also claims that there are many more giant Demons like him, buried and imprisoned all across the universe waiting to be released.

We later see one of these Demons called Abaddon in the spin off series Torchwood. A similar Demon named “The Destroyer” appears in the 7th Doctor story “Battlefield”. Finally there is also another Demonic entity named the Mara which has the power to possess people that appears in the 5th Doctors era.

Werewolves also exist in the Doctor Who universe, though one alien posing as a Werewolf appears in the 10th Doctor story “Tooth and Claw. A real Werewolf appears in the 7th Doctor story “The Greatest Show in the Galaxy”. Apparently they are quite common across the entire universe. Dragons also exist too. In fact the moon is revealed to be a Dragons egg!

There are also several god like aliens including the Black Guardian who is shown to be served by several Demonic creatures. Finally the Grim Reaper who is referred to as Durac also appears in the spin off show Torchwood.

Enemies: Time Lords are the arch enemies of the Great Vampires, having driven their race to virtual extinction.

Alignment: The Great Vampires and their minions are evil destructive creatures who are happy to sacrifice entire solar systems to satisfy their hunger. Similarly the Haemovores are for the most part depicted as bloodthirsty animals regardless of who they were in life.

Appearances: State of Decay, The Curse of Fenric, The Vampires of Fenice.

Vampires have appeared in Doctor Who on a number of occasions. Doctor Who always had a more surrealist, Brothers Grimm aspect to it than other Science Fiction series. Vampires were perhaps more a natural fit for it than other sci fi classics like say Star Trek.

Having said that however Doctor Who, whilst more surrealist in nature is still predominantly a science fiction series. Most of the supernatural creatures who have appeared throughout both Classic and New Who have been given a rational explanation.

Nevertheless there have been a few occasions where it has at the very least been hinted that the paranormal threat is the real deal, such as the Beast, Durac, The Mara and the Great Vampires.

The Great Vampires appear in the Fourth Doctor story “State of Decay”. This story was written by Terrence Dicks. Dicks had previously been the script editor for Doctor Who during the second and third Doctors era’s. He would also go on to write the novelisations of many Classic Who stories.

His contributions to the show are vast, but still despite this he actually only wrote a few stories by himself.

His stories I think tended to touch on horror themes. “The Brain of Morbius” is essentially Frankenstein in Space, whilst “The Horror of Fang Rock” is very much a haunted house story and “Robot” another story of his draws on yet another classic horror movie, “King Kong” for inspiration.

Its not surprising given his track record that Dicks would be the man to bring Vampires into the Whoniverse.

“State of Decay” see’s the Doctor, Romana and annoying stowaway Adric, all of whom are at this point trapped in another universe arrive on a primitive planet that is ruled by three tyrannical Vampires. It is revealed that even the Doctor was unaware that Vampires existed, though he had heard stories of them when he was younger.

Thousands of years ago there were gigantic green skinned demonic monstrosities called The Great Vampires who destroyed entire galaxies in order to satisfy their heinous thirst for blood. Though the Doctors people the Time Lords normally had a policy of non interference. The Great Vampires represented too large a threat to the rest of the universe. The resulting war between the Vampires and the Time Lords was long and bloody, but the Time Lords eventually eradicated the Vampires. The Time Lords using Bow Ships to strike at their hearts. All of the Vampires were destroyed except for one, their leader who escaped into another universe. E-Space.

There he crashed landed on a primitive planet. Unable to leave, he turned three wayward travellers into Vampires and used them to enslave the population. Not only did his three Vampire servants turn the populace of the planet into their food supply, but they also used them as slave labour to build a space ship that could allow their master to escape and terrorise the cosmos once again.

Fortunately the Doctor is able to destroy the King of the Great Vampires. He uses the very rocket that the Vampire intended to escape with, which he launches into the beasts heart. After he dies, his minions crumble into nothing but dust.

“State of Decay” overall is a brilliant story. The Vampires origins are left deliberately vague enough so that its really up to the viewer to decide whether or not they are the genuine article or just very powerful aliens. The Vampires are also menacing too, though at times I feel that Emrys Jame’s who plays the leader of the three Vampires, Aukon is a little bit over the top.

The Great Vampire itself is an interesting concept and fortunately we only get a fleeting glimpse of it. Normally that was Doctor Who’s mistake. It would get too ambitious and try to depict monsters that its budget simply could not portray realistically.

Sometimes this would negatively affect otherwise excellent stories like “The Caves of Androzani”, or the “Terror of the Zygons”.

Fortunately they learn their lesson here and we only see the monsters face on a computer screen for a few seconds, and later its hand reaching out, which gives the idea of a truly immense creature.

The Vampires would go on to serve as an interesting addition to the Whoniverse mythology. They would not go on to appear in future television episodes, but they have gone on to appear in spin off material which has gone into greater detail with their history with the Time Lords.

Apparently the Great Vampires lived during a period known as the Dark Times, when magic was the dominant force and vastly powerful destructive creatures such as the Nestene Consciousness and the ravenous Racnoss roamed the universe.

It was the Time Lords themselves who brought about the end of the dark times by destroying the Vampires and the Racnoss. This made the way for science to become the dominant force instead of magic, which in turn created a more rational universe.

It is also revealed in spin off material that whilst the vast majority of lesser Vampires perished when their great Vampire masters died. A few managed to survive on the earth and other worlds giving rise to Vampire myths on many different planets.

The Great Vampires would not be the only explanation for Vampires that Doctor Who would give us. In “The Curse of Fenric” we discover that certain Vampire myths originate from the Haemovores.

Now whilst “State of Decay” was a great horror story. “The Curse of Fenric” is probably one of the greatest Doctor Who stories ever made.

The premise of Curse of Fenric see’s an ancient Demon named Fenric bring about the extinction of humanity, by unleashing a lethal chemical in the future, which mutates most of humanity into hideous vampiric creatures called Haemovores. Eventually however even the Haemovores themselves die out, as the earth becomes too poisonous.

Fenric then brings the last of these creatures backwards in time and unknowingly uses it to unleash the very chemical that will destroy its own world. Fortunately the Doctor is able to warn it, and the creature instead uses the chemical to kill itself and Fenric.

Much like “State of Decay” Fenric mixes fantasy and science fiction to great effect. The Vampires this time are given a completely scientific explanation. Whilst “State of Decay” drew more on old Hammer movies for inspiration, I feel that Fenric to some extent draws on Richard Mathieson’s novel “I Am Legend”.

The world of the Haemovores, being a post appocalyptic wasteland populated by mutant Vampires is not to dissimilar to the world in Matheson’s novel. There are also obvious influences from John Carpenters “The Fog” as well, even in just how the Haemovores look.

Fenric still However has a fantastical element through Fenric himself, who is for all intents and purposes a Demon. The story also incorporates Norse mythology as well as  with Fenric’s apocalypse being the source for Ragnorak.

The best twist this story offers on the Vampire myth is the explanation it has for why crosses affect Vampires. Now normally this is a weakness that most stories about scientific Vampires such as the Blade film series leave it out.

With sunlight and garlic you have it that they are allergic to them, but the cross by its very nature has to have a more fantastical reason for hurting Vampires.

Here however they explain it as being because human belief in something. It can be anything from a person to an ideology. Their faith will create a psychic barrier that prevents the Vampires from attacking. It’s not the cross itself therefore that fends the Vampire off, but a human’s belief in God, which is symbolised by the cross.

This explains why Vampires in other non Christian cultures were warded off by the holy symbols of other religions too.

During the time of the setting of the story World War 2, however the character of Reverend Wainwright’s faith in god has become shaken by the horrors of both World Wars.

Thus when he tries to use the cross to ward off the Vampires it doesn’t work and they rip him to shreds.

At the same time however a communist soldier named Captain Sorin is able to ward them off with his belief in communism. Even when he is without his symbol the Red Star his faith alone is strong enough to allow him to walk through the Vampires unscathed.

This is such a clever twist on the old idea of the cross and faith being able to repel Vampires. Having it that a communist is able to use the red star to ward off Vampires whilst a priest can’t with the bible, is one of the most daring things Who has ever done.

It serves as a nice comment on how in dark times one persons beliefs can shatter whilst another’s can grow stronger. The Reverend cannot possibly believe in an all benevolent creator that is watching over us in a time of global conflict, when innocent people are being slaughtered in ghetto’s and concentration camps. Even the allies are killing children in the bombing of cities like Dresden.

The Communist on the other hand’s beliefs are getting stronger as he believes not only will Russia win the war, but that afterwards there will be a time of great change and things can’t go on the way they are with two world wars in less than 50 years. He believes that people will turn to communism as he does genuinely believe that it is the way forward for mankind.

This story uses Vampires as a powerful comment on human belief as well as religion and man’s inhumanity to man, which is why it is not only one of the best Doctor Who stories ever made, but one of the best Vampire stories ever made as well.

Sadly the last of Doctor Who’s three Vampire stories “Vampires of Venice” is the weakest of the three. Don’t get me wrong its still a brilliant story, but compared to the other two it falls rather flat.

Its more of a lightweight run around type of story. Its not as creepy and atmospheric as “State of Decay” or as powerful and deep as “The Curse of Fenric”. Also I feel it is more of a standard “myths were caused by aliens” type of story. The Vampires in this story are just aliens who have arrived on earth to colonise it, after their own planet was destroyed. There’s no mix of fantasy and science fiction like the previous two Vampire stories.

Its still a good story though and the leader of the Vampires; Rosanna Calvierri, is a very well rounded and even sympathetic character, played superbly by Helen McRory. Unlike the Great Vampires demise; her death is actually very moving.

This story was written by Toby Whitehouse who would had earlier created the Vampire series “Being Human”. Personally I would say that this is his best Doctor Who story to date.

Overall Doctor Who gave us three very interesting takes on Vampires. Its quite interesting the way that not all Vampire myths come from the same source in the Whoniverse.

Most of them come from The Great Vampires, however the cross myths come from the Haemovores and the no reflection myth comes from the Vampires of Venice.

All 3 stories touched on different aspects of Vampire mythology and lore. “State of Decay” showed us powerful, evil, destructive Vampires, whilst Fenric showed us Vampires who were created through solely scientific means, yet at the same time gave us one of the best twists on one of the classic supernatural elements from Vampire mythology. Finally “Vampires of Venice” gave us a more sympathetic Vampire story.

Its just a shame really that Doctor Who which has only touched on Vampires briefly in 50 years has still managed to give us a much more interesting take on the idea than many series that are devoted to them have done.

9/ Supernatural Vampires

Also Known As: Children of Eve

Origin: Vampires were created by Eve, an ancient primordial entity that created the majority of other supernatural races including, Werewolves, Ghouls, Rugarru’s, Djinn’s, Crocotta’s, Wendigo’s, Shapeshifter’s, Vetala’s and Skinwalkers. The first Vampire claims to have been “the thing in the dark” when man kind “huddled around the fire”.

Powers and Abilities: Supernatural strength, greater than that of many other supernatural creatures including Ghouls, Wendigo’s, Skinwalkers, Rugarru’s and Shifters, as well as black eyed Demons as demonstrated by the fact that Gordon, despite only being a Vampire for a few hours was able to take on Sam and Dean single handed, whilst his Vampire bride who again had only been a Vampire for a few moments, was able to overpower Dean too. Ruby meanwhile a high ranking Black Eyed Demon was unable to overpower Dean in a one on one fight.

The older a Vampire gets the stronger it gets, with the Alpha Vampire being so strong that even after enduring hours of torture at the hands of one of the most skilled hunters who would know exactly how to hurt him the most, and being injected with enough dead man’s blood to down a nest of regular Vampires, it still took the combined might of three Demons to restrain him. Even then that was only after a further two shots of dead man’s blood to the neck!. Vampires also possess super speed, agility, healing and immortality and invulnerability with the only thing that can kill them being beheading.

Weaknesses: Dead man’s blood can paralyse, incapacitate and hurt them. Though it is not fatal, it has allowed hunters and Demons who were normally weaker to over power them.

Bullets, arrows and blades coated in dead man’s blood are very useful weapons against Vampires but cutting their heads off kills them. Sunlight hurts their eyes and hurts like a nasty sun burn. They can also be killed by the colt a magical gun that can kill anything, and Angels who can destroy them in a similar manner how they smite Demons.

How Do They Reproduce: In order to become a Vampire you have to consume their blood first. If you drink the blood of the vampire who turned you before you have drank human blood, then you will change back into a human. 

Unique Attributes: Supernatural Vampires have souls and when they die their souls go to neither heaven nor hell, but to purgatory alongside other supernatural creatures souls.

Monster Relatives: Vampires are the children of Eve and thus are related to all other monster races she created, which include Werewolves, Ghouls, Shapeshifters, Wendigo’s, Khan Worm, Wraith’s, Skin Walkers, Djinns, Vetala’s and Crocotta’s. Many of these monster races share similar traits to Vampires, though their closest relatives are apparently the Vetala’s. Vampires are also distantly related to the Leviathans, ancient monsters capable of devouring Demons, Angels and just about anything else. It is believed Eve the creator of the Vampires came from the Leviathan’s or was related to them.

Other Supernatural Creatures: Aside from the other monster races, Demons, Ghosts, Leviathans, Angels, Gods and the Judeo Christian god all exist.

Enemies: Hunters are the primary enemies of Vampires, with hunters by the time of the first season having almost wiped them out. Demons were briefly enemies of Vampires in season 6 when Crowley the king of Hell wanted to know where Purgatory was, he began capturing Monster races and torturing them for information on Purgatory. One of those he captured was the Alpha Vampire. The Alpha however proved to be too tough and later escaped. He would remain Crowley’s enemy with Crowley even keeping tabs on him afterwards. Other than this though Vampires and Demons don’t seem to care about each other. Vampires were also briefly the enemies of Leviathans who wanted to exterminate all monster races to avoid competition.

Alignment: Most Vampires in Supernatural do not seem to mind killing innocent people, but still Supernatural Vampires are somewhat more sympathetic than other depictions. Many of them including Benny Lafette, Lenore and an entire clan of Vampires have shown restraint enough to stop feeding on human beings. Lenore continued not to feed even after one of her pack was killed and she herself was captured and tortured. They also can love and even mate for life and generally care for one another’s well being. One Vampire even killed himself after his clan was wiped out.

Supernatural is one of my all time favourite television series. I have been a fan since pretty much the start of its run.

Still having said that I have always had mixed feelings towards its depiction of Vampires. As Vampires are my favourite monsters I must admit I am always very particular in how I want to see them portrayed.

Vampires for me should always be evil. In fact I feel they should always be the most evil monsters. In Being Human, Werewolves and Ghosts are happy to live in peace with mankind, but its the Vampires who are the ones who want to tear human society down and also at the same time persecute other supernatural races.

In Buffy meanwhile there are good guy Demons of all kinds and good guy Werewolves and Witches, but no good guy Vampires, apart from Spike and Angel who are special occurrences. In the Buffyverse Vampires are the only monsters seemingly incapable of redemption on their own.

In Supernatural however its the very opposite. Vampires are the softest, most emo monsters.

All Ghosts end up as angry spirits in Supernatural. All Demons are evil, sadistic assholes, a good portion of Angels are complete bastards, and all other monster species are also shown to be total dicks too like Wendigo’s, Wraiths and Ghouls. There are no good guy Leviathans either. There are only really good guy Vampires and quite a lot of them too!

Added to that the bad guy Vampires in Supernatural are also very unimpressive. Luther a Vampire leader from season 1 spends more time shagging his girlfriend, and whining about how hunters hunt him than killing people. He is also too afraid to kill a hunter in case other hunters come after him and chastises his girlfriend for doing that.

Honestly what kind of a Vampire is that? Vampires should be bloodthirsty monsters who don’t give a fuck about hunters. If anything they should get angry at the idea that a hunter would dare to challenge them.

Then there is Dixon in season 3 who also spends more time whining about how hunters hunt him than actually doing any Vampire stuff too.

The only Vampires I have liked in Supernatural are Gordon Walker who seemed genuinely dangerous to everyone and everything around him, Benny who was likable and the Alpha Vampire.

The Alpha Vampire seemed genuinely formidable. Even when he was being tortured by Samuel Campbell, one of the worlds greatest hunters and also the king of hell himself.

He didn’t even scream or flinch for a second during the torture. My favourite scene is when he is in his cage and one of Samuel Campbell’s hunters is alone with him and he says calmly “are you afraid of me boy I would be afraid of me if I were you”.

How frightening do you have to be if your torturer is scared of you! Rick Worthy who played the Alpha was also perfect.

I love his confrontation with Sam and Dean, where rather than feel scared of these two notorious hunters who have taken down the Devil himself, he feels angry at the idea that they think they can frighten him. Even though he is the one who is seemingly completely powerless and locked in a cage.

Other than the Alpha Vampire who was brilliant and a few others however. Most of the Vampires in Supernatural were whiny bitches which was even worse as Supernatural ran right through the middle of the public’s obsession with romantic Vampires.

Even though Supernatural mocked the likes of Twilight in the episode “Live Free and Twihard” it seemed to me like that was now Vampires place in the supernatural pantheon to be the romantic, sappy, misunderstood, sympathetic monster, which is a shame as back in the days of Buffy they were always the main villains.

However Supernatural’s take on Vampires still gets major points from me for originality.

I liked the way the creators of the show were so bold as to throw out a lot of the traditional Vampire lore like cross, stakes etc. I think they came up with quite a few new cool ideas and weaknesses of their own. I liked the idea of dead man’s blood being a weakness. It was quite a nice irony that blood, the thing they fed on, under some circumstances could hurt them.

I also loved the lore of Supernatural that all the supernatural creatures could be divided up into different groups, kind of like how in the animal kingdom, we have mammals, reptiles etc.

Finally my favourite aspect of the Supernatural Vampires is what happens to them after they die. I love the idea that Vampire souls end up in Purgatory. It makes the idea of becoming a Vampire much more frightening.

Think about it in other Vampire stories when a person becomes a Vampire its horrible, but after they are slain they are released, their soul is set free. In Buffy their souls aren’t even in their bodies when they become Vampires.

In Supernatural however after you become a Vampire and you are killed by a hunter, your soul will end up in purgatory as a Vampire soul, where you will be forced to hunt other monsters forever. Thus you are truly eternally damned.

If your loved one is made into a Vampire then you will never see them ever again, as if you die you will go to heaven, whilst your loved one will go to Purgatory or vice versa.

If you become a Vampire regardless of how good a person you were in life, after you become a Vampire you will never see your loved ones. You will be stuck in an eternal forest hunting other monsters forever.

It doesn’t even matter if you are a reformed Vampire like Benny or Lenore, the fact that you are a Vampire will still mean that you end up in Purgatory forever. In this respect Supernatural Vampires and Werewolves for that matter are the most frightening of any interpretation.

When Gordon Walker a Vampire hunter is made into one as a form of revenge by a Vampire, then it truly is the worst fate for him as now he will be one for all eternity. Even if he is slain.

The poor young girl who is unknowingly turned at the start of that episode (played by Mercedes McNab, Harmony on Buffy the Vampire Sayer), who had no idea what was happening to her, will now be in Purgatory separated from all of her loved ones forever.

Similarly the werewolf Madison will never be reunited with Sam as when he dies. He will go to heaven, whilst she is in purgatory with the other monsters.

Thus whilst I have some issues with their moping, overall for me Supernatural has provided a very interesting and in some ways more terrifying take on Vampires.

8/ Reapers/ Blade 2

Origin: Created by Damaskinos a Vampire leader in an effort to create the ultimate Vampire.

Powers and Abilities: Super strength, speed and agility greater than that of all regular Vampires. They also possess a leech like three way jaw that allows them to paralyse their victims whilst they feed.

Weaknesses: Can be killed by sunlight and UV lights.

How do They Reproduce: Through a bite

Unique Attributes: Horrible ugly three way jaw (above)

Monster Relatives: Ordinary Vampire race and Zombies

Other Supernatural Creatures: Werewolves

Enemies: Regular Vampires, particularly the Blood Pack and Blade himself of course.

Alignment: The Reapers are savage, animalistic monsters that are a threat to everything and everyone around them.

The Reapers are one of my favourite Vampire variants in anything. They are just such an inspired idea. The Vampires that prey on Vampires. This actually does have some basis in mythology. The Nelapsi were said to be Vampires, who were more powerful and ferocious than regular Vampires, and were feared even by them.

The Reapers are everything people who can’t stand Twilight style Vampires could wish for. Ugly, monstrous, bloodthirsty animals. No one is going to fantasise about being bitten by these guys.

Their loathsome three way jaw has become iconic, and has even been replicated in other monsters such as Professor Lazarus in Doctor Who. Someone needs to show Charlie Brooker who said that Vampires are the worst monsters because they are pussies the Reapers. I like Charlie Brooker, but his article about why all Vampires are crap just because of Twilight is ridiculous. By that logic then all Ghost movies are sappy because of that Patrick Swayze movie.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer would later attempt to do its own take on the idea of there being a second more powerful, feral race of Vampires who regular Vampires fear the Turok Han.

Personally I think the Reapers were a much more effective interpretation of this idea. The Turok Han were scary in their first episode where we saw one beat Buffy almost to death and slaughter dozens of potential slayers. However famously when we saw an army of them in the final episode of Buffy “Chosen” they got thrashed very easily with even the likes of Xander, Dawn Summers and Andrew beating them up.

The Reapers were consistently scary and their leader, the only member of their kind to retain his intelligence Nomak played by Luke Goss has to rank as one of the all time greatest screen Vampires.

7/ Discworld Vampire 

Now these Vampires are very different to the regular kind and I confess I don’t know everything about them yet which is why i am not going to do a bio on them unlike the others. I have only just got into Terry Pratchett recently (I know how could I avoid his work for so long).

Still these guys have to make the cut among my favourites, cause they are just so bat shit mental. Though they don’t always have the largest role, they are always immensely entertaining due to their more eccentric qualities, such as their need to give their prey a sporting chance.

Many have used Vampirism as a metaphor for addiction before but none to quite the same extent as Pratchett. His Vampires having support groups for their blood addiction and even go “Cold Bat”.

Whilst  I generally like my Vampires to be evil I don’t mind more comical takes on Vampires either.

6/ American Vampire, Vampires

The Vampires in this criminally underrated comic book series are among the most interesting take on the creatures I have seen. Rather than come up with one type of Vampire with a set of strict rules. They have instead come up with the idea that there are several different species of Vampires, who have given rise to the many different Vampire myths.

For this reason we wont be including a bio of these guys either are there are simply too many to list. If you haven’t looked at this series yet you definitely should. One story is even written by Stephen King writer of one of the greatest of all Vampire stories “Salem’s Lot”.

5/ Being Human Vampires

Origin: Two brothers who made a deal with the devil to live forever became the first Vampires.

Powers and Abilities: Super strength, speed, immortality and healing.

Weaknesses: Can be killed by a stake through the heart, fire, beheading and cannot enter a house without an invitation if they do they will burn. They are also vulnerable to holy items though only in small numbers.

How Do They Reproduce: It only takes a drop of their blood to turn a person into one of their kind.

Unique Attributes: Werewolves blood is like acid on their skin.

Monster Relatives: Werewolves and Ghosts, who were created by The Devil like Vampires were.

Other Supernatural Creatures: Werewolves, Ghosts, Demons, Succubi, Inccubi, Zombies, Psychics and Warlocks and Witches.

Enemies: Werewolves are the sworn enemies of Vampires, though this is more on the Vampires part.

Alignment: Most of them are racist, chaotic, psychotic, sadistic bastards who enjoy not only torturing and killing people, but Werewolves and Ghosts too. Many of them are shown to violently attack Werewolves in the streets beating them up for no reason other than sadistic cruelty. However they are capable of controlling their bloodlust and a few have done so including Mitchell and Hal. It is implied that they all feel guilt for their actions at some point in their lives, but cover it up as its the only way they can go on.

When I say Being Human I am referring to the British version only here. I haven’t seen the American version. Maybe its good, I don’t know, but I am only talking about the British version.

I loved the Vampires in this series. I felt Toby Whitehouse really fleshed out their characters well, showing us how they integrate themselves into our society, and how they view other supernaturals, particularly Werewolves.

I loved the idea of Vampires hating Werewolves because Werewolves in wolf form were stronger, and also because Vampires were jealous to an extent that Werewolves had “time off”. They could remain human most of the time and live otherwise normal lives whilst Vampires were monsters all of the time.

Whilst the idea of Vampires vs Werewolves is certainly not original, I think Being Human did it best. The Dog fights they subject Werewolves to are truly disturbing. When the Vampires lock Werewolves in cages on the night of the full moon with innocent people, so that the Werewolves will rip them apart, it feels like the Vampires are trying to drag the Werewolves down to their level.

The Vampires know that they can never control their bloodlust and will be destined to be killers, so forcing Werewolves to be as well in some ways makes them feel better about themselves.

I also like the way that the Vampires are the most evil and dangerous supernatural creatures in the Being Human universe. Ghost’s, Werewolves, Demons, Succubi’s are all willing to live in peace with humanity (until the last series at least), but Vampires are constantly trying to create a world where they will rule over all other races. A world they actually do manage to create in an alternate timeline in series 4.

In this timeline we see the Vampires run a Nazi like regime, rounding up human beings and Werewolves into concentration camps, where they kill them for fun, torture them, burn L for Lycan and H for human into their skins, and force them to fight each other on the night of the full moon. They also presumably do the same to other supernatural races Ghosts, Demons etc, as they are shown to rule the entire world. That’s more what I like to see Vampires as the most evil of all the supernatural creatures that exist, rather than as the most sensitive, and caring, and wimpy like in Supernatural.

Also their leader Mr Snow played by Mark Gatiss is awesome too. Personally I think that’s Gatiss’s best performance in anything either comedic or serious. The leader of the Vampires in seasons 1-3 Herrick, played by Jason Watkins is also a brilliant villain as well. He’s a really nasty piece of work.

I mean we are talking about a guy who once stabbed a pregnant woman in the kidney, with a butchers knife, just to prove he hadn’t gone soft. Its even worse when you consider that said pregnant woman, was in fact the only person who was nice to him when he had amnesia, and even saved his life on a number of occasions too.

Other than a few exceptions Being Human Vampires are among the most evil and twisted of any interpretation and that’s why they are among my faves.

4/ I Am Legend Vampires

 

Origin: Strain of bacteria that can infect both living and dead hosts.

Powers and Abilities: None, they are slow moving and weak.

Weaknesses: Stake through heart and sunlight, they are also vulnerable to holy items due to a psychological belief that it can hurt them, but it ultimately has no real effect on them.

How Do They Reproduce: Through an airborne bacteria.

Unique Attributes: They are slow moving, weak and frail creatures, unlike the majority of other super strong Vampires we see in most works of fiction.

Monster Relatives: The infected who have managed to overcome their need for blood and aversion to sunlight.

Other Supernatural Creatures: none

Enemies: Robert Neville and the infected who recover and hunt them down.

Alignment: Not evil per se, they just want to feed. At the end of the book, some are able to overcome their infection and try and build a new society.

Richard Matheson was really the first author to have Vampires as being created by science, rather than magic, something which many other Vampire stories have since emulated.

I am Legend was also very influential on the Zombie genre too. Indeed it could be argued that it created the modern day Zombie genre, as George A Romero drew inspiration from this when creating “Night of the Living Dead” which did literally invent the modern day zombie genre.

The Vampires in this story are more like zombies, deformed, weak shuffling creatures who are scary when they travel in large numbers. Though the book has been filmed three times “The Last Man On Earth”, “The Omega Man” and “I Am Legend” only “The Last Man on Earth” retains the idea of it being Vampires.

Make no mistake however this is a Vampire story and I think it offers one of the most interesting takes on the Vampire myth as well as one of the most influential. When Charlie Brooker went on about Vampires being the worst monsters because they are wimps, whilst Zombies (the Romero flesh eating variety) are the best because they just kill people, someone better tell Mr Brooker that the modern Zombie genre he loves so much, practically comes from a single Vampire story.

The modern day Zombie is almost a variant of Vampire, and owes far more to this Vampire story, ironically than it does to the old Voodoo Zombie myths and legends.

3/Stokers Vampires

Powers and Abilities: Super strength said to be as great as twenty men, Immortality, shapeshifting, hypnotic powers.

Weaknesses: Wooden stake through the heart, cannot enter a house without an invitation, beheading, garlic, they are weaker during the day but, it does not destroy them, and they cannot cross running water at a low or high tide.

How Do They Reproduce: Through a bite, though it may take several.

Unique Attributes: None as everyone has copied the Vampires rules of this story in some way or another, though at the time it was very original.

Monster Relatives: None

Other Supernatural Creatures: Werewolves and Witches

Enemies: Vampire hunters

Alignment: Pure evil seek to overthrow humanity, though they do seem to be able to care for one another, as Dracula despite beating his wives claims to love them very much.

Whilst I would agree that Dracula is the best Vampire story ever written, there are other types of Vampires that I prefer. Still its no exaggeration to say that the majority of attributes of other Vampires come from this tale.

Stoker combines many different old legends together to create what are really the ultimate Vampires. Dracula himself contrary to popular belief, does not embody the seductive Vampire persona. He is a hideous old man, who gets younger the more blood he drinks, though his wives certainly do follow the seductive Vampire model.

The Vampires in this story are generally portrayed as evil monsters too, and it would be later versions of Dracula that would recast him as a more seductive, romantic and even sympathetic character.

Over the years Dracula has been portrayed on film more times than any other fictional character. Whilst there have some amazing films and performances, very few have actually remained completely faithful to Stokers original novel.

2/ Blade Vampires

Origin: Created by Drake though his origin is unknown.

Powers and Abilities: Super strength, speed, agility, healing to the extent where they can regrow limbs, immortality.

Weaknesses: Can be killed by a stake through the heart, or anything made of silver piercing the heart and brain, direct sunlight, UV lights and garlic.

How do they Reproduce: Through a bite only.

Unique Attributes: These Vampires can turn people into zombies as well.

Monster Relatives: Reapers, a mutant race of Vampires, and Zombies who are created when the process of turning someone into a Vampire does not work properly, and the person comes back as a living, rotting corpse with no higher brain functions, and a desire not just to feed on blood but to devour anything (including even other Vampires) that they come into contact with. Thus Zombies in Blade are merely an offshoot of Vampires.

Other Supernatural Creatures: Werewolves.

Enemies: Blade a human/Vampire hybrid who has the strength, speed, agility and healing of a Vampire (as well as their thirst which he keeps under control) but none of their weaknesses. Blade has been responsible for wiping out most of the Vampire race, as seen in Blade Trinity. Though he believed he had killed them all, he later discovered that a few had survived in Blade the Series. Blade is the Vampires main enemy, but there are many other Vampire hunters around such as Blade’s mentor Whistler and the Night stalkers.

Alignment: All irredemably evil except for Blade and that’s only because he is part human.

The regular Blade Vampires I feel deserve a seperate section from the Reapers, as they are a different race after all.

Now the Blade Vampires were effective villains in a number of ways. They were powerful, evil and brutal antagonists to the main hero with Frosts’ torture of Whistler alone demonstrating how vicious they are. However what really scores them so high on my list is the way they worked as a secret society.

I quite liked the idea of Vampires running things from behind the scenes, controlling our police force, covering up their crimes, framing those who hunted them, having human servants who use modern day weaponry.

It made the Vampires seem a little bit more menacing. In most Vampire fiction like Buffy and Supernatural the Vampires are just skulking around in old graveyards fighting anyone who comes near them with their hands. The Blade Vampires however were definitely a lot smarter, in that they would often be protected in their mansions, by hundreds of heavily armed guards, making Vampire hunters jobs a bit more difficult to say the least.

The Vampire society was also really fleshed out too in all three films. It was interesting to see how they had their own language and also how there were divisions in Vampire society, with the pure blood (those who were born Vampires) looking down on those who were merely turned.

1/ Buffy Vampires

Origin: Created when Maloker a powerful old one fed off of a human being infecting him and turning him into a Demon human hybrid who went on to infect others.

Powers and Abilities: Super strength which gets greater when they get older. Older Vampires possess strength far greater than that of most demons as demonstrated by the fact that Angel a vampire over 200 years old (which isn’t even that old for a Vampire) is able to overpower most of the Demons he comes across in his own series. He regularly slaughters entire packs of Demons at a time. Buffy Vampires are stronger than Werewolves too as Angel managed to kill one with spectacular ease using only a pen. They also possess super speed, agility, healing and the ability to morph between human and vampire form.

Weaknesses: The usual weaknesses, a stake through the heart, beheading, direct sunlight, fire, cannot enter a home unless invited, crosses and holy water are also effective.

Unique Attributes: Though they are immortal the passing of centuries does affect them. Their vampire face becomes more deformed and they eventually lose the ability to look human.

Monster Relatives: The Old Ones who created them and other Demon races as Vampires are classed as Demons therefore they are their relatives. There are also the Turok Han another more powerful second race of Vampires who are described by Giles “As Neanderthals are to humans the Turok Han are to Vampires an old an entirely seperate race”.

Other Supernatural Creatures: Many, Demons, Werewolves, Witches, robots and even aliens.

Enemies: The Slayer, one girl in all the world gifted with the strength, and skill to hunt them.

Alignment: Very, very, very evil.

My favourite Vampires, not too surprising, considering how much I love Buffy.

Buffy Vampires, in my opinion manage to combine all the great qualities of other Vampires. We have the tragic tortured Vampire in the form of Angel, the fun, sexy cool Vampire in the form of Spike, and the hideous deformed, bloodthirsty Vampire in the form of the Master.

The Buffy Vampires are also genuinely evil and demonic. Unlike other Vampires they don’t just kill people. They enjoy torturing them too.

Indeed Buffy and its spin off Angel has been responsible for some of the sickest and most nightmarish Vampires seen in any medium.

There is The Master, an ancient Vampire who seeks to exterminate the human race, by unleashing an ancient army of Demons onto the earth, and punishes any Vampire who fails him severely. What does it say when one cuts of his own hand to avoid being punished by the Master! The Master also in one episode that depicts an alternate timeline, is able to overrun Sunnydale, turning it into a place where Vampires rule and humans are kept in cages and tortured for fun. He later builds a machine that slowly and painfully drains the blood from still living human beings turning them literally into cattle!

Angelus meanwhile is a Vampire who thrives on killing and torturing people in all kinds of ways. One of the worst examples of his cruelty is when he snaps several young infants necks and places their corpses in their beds, so that when their father comes to wish them good night he only realises that they are dead, when he leans in to kiss them good night and feels how cold they are. Angelus also does this to Giles, after he kills his lover Jenny Calendar and places her corpse in his bed, and sets things up to make it look like Jenny is waiting for him upstairs.

Then there is Drusilla an insane Vampire who enjoys plucking people’s eyes out including her own servants.

Her lover Spike also earned his nickname by slowly torturing his victims to death with railroad spikes, whilst Marcus is a Vampire who created several of the worst torture methods and enjoys torturing anything, humans, Demons even other Vampires. He also most disturbingly of all enjoys torturing, molesting and devouring children!

The scene where he acquires the Gem of Amarra, a ring that will enable any Vampire who wears it, to become unkillable and selects a group of young children as his first intended victims in the daylight, is one of the most genuinely chilling moments in any Vampire story. When he says calmly “Hello Boys and Girls” with a perverse smile it never fails to send shivers up my spine.

In Buffy, no Vampire is shown to be capable of overcoming its bloodlust and evil nature. Angel only is because his human soul is returned to him, which allows him to feel remorse something which no Vampire is capable of otherwise.

Spike meanwhile only is because initially he has a chip in his head, that prevents him from hurting anyone as it causes him tremendous pain if he tries to. Even with this chip in his head Spike still doesn’t become a good guy.

He does plenty of evil things with a chip. He works alongside Adam, an evil cyborg killer to try and bring about the end of the world. He also later attempts to force a doctor to remove the chip, so he can kill Buffy, and later even when he is involved with Buffy, keeps Demon eggs that are capable of wiping out all of Sunnydale locked in his cellar, which he intends to sell on the black market.

Most telling however is a scene in season 6, when Spike believes his chip has stopped working and rather than tell Buffy that it has, and that he could be a danger to people. He lies to her, and then quietly tries to murder a helpless young woman. He  even toys with her first, with it ultimately only being the chip that stops him from savagely ripping her throat out.

Then finally there is also the notorious scene where he actually attempts to rape an injured and seemingly defenceless Buffy.

It is only when he acquires his human soul something, which no other Vampire except for Angel has, that he finally becomes a good person.

Other than these two exceptions however, no Vampire in Buffy can find redemption and indeed no Vampire in Buffy is ever shown to want too either.

Unlike in Being Human where it is implied that all the Vampires do secretly want to overcome their evil nature but just don’t have the strength to do so, in Buffy they all relish in being as evil as they possibly can.

Its also made worse by the fact that they do not need to feed on human blood. They can get by just as easily on animal blood and thus could live in peace with mankind, but choose instead to prey on us.

Though Buffyverse Vampires can love only a very few of them have been shown too. Most only care for themselves as demonstrated by Darla hitting Angelus over the head with a shovel, and betraying him when they were cornered. Darla also became afraid that after she gave birth to her child, she would kill it as she was only capable of loving it when it was inside of her and its soul was affecting her.

The few Vampires who have been shown to be capable of love always do so in very twisted ways such anyway such as Spike. Though Spike did genuinely love Buffy, it was in a very selfish and perverse way as demonstrated by his attempt to rape Buffy.

The only occasion of a Vampire genuinely trying to better itself without a soul was when Spike won his soul for Buffy in the Demon trials. However even here it can be argued that soulless Spike’s motives were simply as Angel put it “to get into a girls pants”.

Like I said before the Vampires in Buffy are among the most evil creatures in the shows universe, as there are examples of many other types of Demon who are benevolent on their own, such as Clem and Whistler, but all Vampires are pure evil.

Whilst I liked the fact that Buffy’s Vampires were so evil at the same time, I also much preferred Buffy’s take on good guy Vampires too.

Often in other series like Being Human, as much as I like it I think it does look a little bit too easy for Vampires like Hal to suddenly stop drinking blood. I know they portray it like an addiction, but really Vampirism should be more than just an addiction its a curse after all.

The fact that Angel and Spike were only able to reform because of outside interference, such as a soul or a chip, makes the Buffy Vampires seem much more frightening. When you become one of them, you become a monster in every sense of the word.

Nothing of you remains. Its not as though, at one point you can regain your conscience like Hal or Mitchell did because you wont even want to!

Finally another area where Buffy Vampires where my favourites, was I feel their backstory was more fleshed out. Prior to Buffy I don’t think a lot of Vampire fiction had ever bothered to tell us where Vampires had come from.

Buffy however gave us a clear story, that they had been created by the old ones and gave us a full supernatural world for them to fit into. One where ironically, despite their power and evil nature, they were still looked down on by other Demons due to being Demon/human hybrids.

Other series have since followed Buffy’s lead and given us explanations for the monsters, such as Supernatural which has its own unique mythology, but I think Buffy was among the first to really tell us where do Vampires and Demons actually come from?

To me Buffy Vampires will always be the most effective. They are along with the Demons from Supernatural my favourite take on any Paranormal creature.

Does Moffat era Doctor Who take place in a different canon to previous era’s?

I have recently developed a theory about Doctor Who canon. Now I am aware that a lot of people including Steven Moffat believe that Doctor Who does not have a canon, but I disagree. If Doctor Who did not have a canon then it would be like the surrealist British comedy Mighty Boosh anything could happen.

In the Mighty Boosh main characters die and then re emerge completely fine then next week with no explanation, others back stories change without explanation. Both of these things have happened to the Hitcher one of the main villains of the series who was pressured into getting a large thumb one week by his family, and was then an orphan the next, and who was melted into a puddle in one episode and then re appeared fine the next. With Doctor Who however it isn’t like that.

Adric dies and that’s that he doesn’t show up completely fine the next week he is gone and his death has a significant effect on the main characters, Rose leaves the Doctor and that remains unchanged and once again has a significant effect on the main character unlike the Hitchers death. However I do agree that Who has a more flexible canon than other series as it involves time travel and certain events not fixed points but certain events can be re written such as the events of the ninth Doctor story “Dalek” that must have been erased by The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End as Dalek shows nobody being aware of Daleks or aliens in 2012 whilst “The Stolen Earth” shows the Daleks stealing and invading the earth in 2009. Thus whilst I wouldn’t say Who has no canon I do agree that its canon can be changed a lot more easily than other series.

Which leads me on to my next point that the bulk of Steven Moffat era Doctor Who, from “The Big Bang” onwards takes place in a different universe to all of the previous seasons of Doctor Who.

Now I have many reasons for thinking this. First of all in series 5 of the new Doctor Who the Time Fields begin to rip apart the universe despite the Alliances best efforts to stop them until eventually all of creation except for the earth is reduced to nothing. The Doctor however is able to bring the universe back by flying the Pandorica which contains particles of the original universe in it into the exploding TARDIS which is still exploding at every point in history and in doing so rebuilds the universe as it was.

However the only thing is the universe isn’t as it was. The Earth Invasions from the Russell T Davies era such as the Daleks stealing the Earth, Cybermen invading every major city, Slitheen crashing into Big Ben for instance now never happened. Mankind no longer knows about aliens in the early 21st Century despite it being “when everything changes” also the rule regarding “fixed points” in time is vastly different in the Davies and the Moffat era as is the ending of the Time War. In the Davies era fixed points in time are merely events that the Time Lords have decided are too important and must always happen hence why the 10th Doctor is able to break one in “the Waters of Mars” without reality collapsing. In the Moffat era fixed points however must always happen because if they don’t the universe will be destroyed as seen in “The Wedding of River Song” when River breaks one and all of time is threatened. These numerous discrepancies have lead many Whovians to believe that the Doctor didn’t restore everything as it was when he rebooted the universe in “The Big Bang”, some events were left out such as the Daleks stealing the earth and also Rory’s death at the hands of the Silurian Restac.

However I am going to go one step further and say that the Doctor created a new universe at the end of the Big Bang one that was similar to the old one but ultimately different in a number of ways. This is backed up by what the Doctor says in the episode itself. When explaining to River how he is going to bring back the universe the Doctor compares it to cloning a human being from a cell. Thing is when you clone someone you don’t bring the original back to life you create a copy of the original so the fact that the Doctor compares rebooting the universe to cloning suggests to me at least that that is what he did he created a new universe from what was left of the old one and all adventures in the Big Bang from this point on take place in this new universe which is similar to the old one sure but is also different in a number of ways. The Doctor, Rory, River and Amy meanwhile are all that is left from the old universe. They are integrated into the new one and its timeline and they have memories of the old one yes, but they are now part of the new universe whilst everyone else is merely a new Universe clone.

This is how I look at it.

Old Doctor Who Universe (1963-2010)

This is the universe where every story from “An Unearthly Child” to “The Big Bang” takes place.

In this universe the rules regarding fixed points in time where different. They were merely moments the Time Lords had decided could never be changed. They could actually be changed however if one were so bold as to go against the laws of the Time Lords which the Doctor does after the Time Lords are gone in “The Waters of Mars”. Thus in this reality time can be rewritten a lot more easily which is how the Daleks have two different origins as seen in “The Mutants” and “Genesis of the Daleks”, and the Earth is destroyed in two different ways in “The Ark” and “The End of the World” and how Henry Van Statten doesn’t know what a Dalek is despite them stealing the earth three years earlier. All 3 cases were of time being re written.

In this reality aside from the Time Lords there are also creatures called Reapers that appear whenever time is changed.

Time Lords in this reality could not change gender. This explained why it was never even hinted at in Classic Who and why we saw whole Time Lords burn out regeneration cycles and not change gender.

In this reality the Doctor also never became the War Doctor it was the 8th Doctor who fought in the war. There were only 11 Doctors at this universes end.

The Master was perhaps the Doctors brother explaining the Ainley Master’s comments “wont you even show mercy to your own” in “The Planet of Fire”.

The Master was also killed when he went back into the Time War, when he blasted Rassilon in order to save the Doctor in “The End of Time”.

In this reality the Time War went differently too. The High Council were in more control and tried to destroy all of creation leading to the 8th Doctor burning them all alongside the Daleks, also the Time War was perhaps a much more drawn out brutal affair and by its end it became the “hell” the Doctor described with creatures like “The Nightmare Child” and the “Skaro Degradations” all running about, rather than just Daleks and Time Lords.

The Zygons home planet was destroyed by a solar flare.

The Rift existed in this reality a portal between Cardiff and numerous other time periods and dimensions and planets.

In this reality the new Dalek race created in Victory of the Daleks destroyed the old Daleks and became the only Dalek race in existence.

In this reality Earth was invaded by Daleks, Cybermen, Slitheen, Sontarans and Sycrocrax in the early 21st Century leading to mankind becoming aware of aliens in the 21st Century hence Jacks comments of 21st Century is “when everything changes”.

In this reality mankind first ventured out into the stars when Adeliade having been inspired by the sight of a Dalek during their 2009 invasion went to Mars and sacrificed herself for the good of mankind. This lead to her children and her children’s children travelling into space and forging a legacy that would lead to mankind enduring to the end of time.

The 7th Doctor destroyed Skaro prior to the Time War using the Hand of Omega.

The Great Intelligence is a cold and logical being in this reality hence his comments in “the Web of Fear” that “revenge is a petty human emotion”.

Rory Williams was shot dead by the Silurian Restac.

This universe ultimately is destroyed when the time fields merge and erase it all except for the earth. The 11th Doctor however using the Pandorica is able to create a new Universe from the “DNA” of the old one. He River, Rory and Amy the last survivors of the old universe are integrated into the new universe and their histories are rewritten accordingly, however they still have the memories of the old one. For instance Amy remembers travelling with the Doctor and growing up with her parents even though the two things never happened at the same time. Her life with her parents was in this reality in the original she had no parents when she travelled with the Doctor. This new universe has a similar history to the old, but ultimately it is different in a lot of places and has different rules.

New Doctor Who Universe (2010-present)

This is the universe that was created at the end of “The Big Bang” and every story since has taken place in this one. It has many differences to the original Whoniverse.

In this reality fixed points are moments that cannot be changed because if they are then the universe and time itself come undone. Thus time is harder to change in this reality as it is not just merely a case of answering to the Time Lords its a case of destroying the universe if you change a particular event.

The Reapers do not exist as there is no need for them due to the laws surrounding fixed points.

The War Doctor existed in this reality which perhaps changed the course of the war.

The Master was clearly NOT the Doctors brother in this universe.

The Zygons home planet was destroyed much later in the Time War.

The Time War ended differently. Here the War Council in the later years where able to gain more control over Gallifrey and prevent the High Council from carrying out its plans to eradicate all of time itself. Though the Doctor still tried to use the moment the fact that Gallifrey was not so corrupt caused him to eventually spare them. In the original universe because it was Rassilon and the High Council perhaps not even the Moment itself wished to spare them and allowed the Doctor to use it. Here however the Doctors saved Gallifrey and thus it did not perish in this reality.

The Time War also ended differently in that towards the end it only involved the Daleks and the Time Lords which explains why we never saw the Nightmare Child or any of those other monsters 10 talked about in “The End of Time”. In “The Day of the Doctor” the end of the time war just looked like a standard space battle rather than “hell”.

In this reality Time Lords are gender fluid and change gender all of the time when they regenerate such as the Corsair and Missy.

Perhaps the 4th Doctor did not die during the events of “Logopolis”, but instead lived to being a ripe old age explaining the mysterious Curator we see in “Day of the Doctor”. However the Curators comments at the same time imply that he is a future regeneration who has assumed the face of the 4th Doctor, so 4 may have still met his end this way.

The battle of Canary Wharf still happened, but the Daleks stealing and invading the Earth didn’t which explains how the Valiant is still around in “Dark Water/ Death in Heaven”.

Earth was also never invaded by the Slitheen, the Sycrocrax and the Sontarans, and the Battle of Canary Wharf was covered up by the government. Thus mankind in the early 21st Century remained blissfully unaware of aliens.

The 7th Doctor did not destroy Skaro it survived even the Time War itself and was later occupied by the new race of Daleks which explains how Skaro is still around in “Asylum of the Daleks” despite being destroyed in “Rememberance of the Daleks” as Rememberance took place in the old universe.

Also as the Doctor didn’t use the Moment to destroy the Daleks this is how the Dalek Asylum survived to. In the original universe the Doctor used the moment to burn them all with only two Daleks the Emperor and the Metaltron surviving (as well as the Cult who were in the nothingness between universes)

The new race of Daleks who were created in “Victory of the Daleks” did not destroy the old Daleks who had created them but instead kept them as a servant race. This explains why in “Asylum of the Daleks”  which is after “The Big Bang” there are the old Daleks alongside the new ones who are their masters. Here the old Daleks were not destroyed just made into the servants of the new Dalek race. Perhaps the Cult of Skaro emergency temporal shifted to where the progenator device in “Victory of the Daleks” was instead of Manhatten, and used it instead to create the new race of Daleks. Thus Caan never went back and rescued Davros, as the cult did the Ironside trick instead and created the new paradigm Daleks who as I mentioned enslaved the cult rather than destroy them and created a servant race of Daleks from the cults DNA. This would explain why we saw a black Dalek resembling Sec in the Dalek Asylum. That’s where he ended up here rather than dying in Manhatten.

Daleks in this reality considered it offensive to destroy other Daleks as they hated destroying such divine hatred, unlike the Daleks of the original universe who as evidenced by the numerous Dalek civil wars had not problem with killing one another. This explains why the new Proginator Daleks didn’t kill the original Daleks who made them.

As there were no 21st century alien invasions Adeliade was not inspired by the Dalek to go into space. However mankind would still endure until the end of time after being inspired by a totally different event. The Moon hatching into a Space Dragon is what inspired them to explore space rather than Adeliade’s sacrifice. Presumably the Space Dragon did not exist in the original universe.

The Rift also did not exist in this reality.

The Great Intelligence in this reality was a more emotional creature who faced the Doctor many times rather than just twice in the Second Doctors era. This would explain why in “The Name of the Doctor” he claims the Doctor thwarted him at every turn and why he is willing to kill himself just to get revenge on the Doctor.

Rory Williams was not shot by Restac,

This to me seems the most likely explanation for all of the continuity errors between the Moffat era and Davies’s time. A good comparison to my theory would be DC Comics which had a similar reboot in their story “Crisis on Infinite Earth’s”  “Crisis on Infinite Earth’s” saw all the universes that previous DC Comic had taken place in become destroyed and a new one take its place with a similar but ultimately different history to the old ones.

That to me is what the season 5 finale “The Pandorica Opens/ The Big Bang” is its the Doctor Who version of “Crisis on Infinite Earths” the big story whose job is to sort out the franchises messed up continuity.

Of course I am sure many of you out there will disagree with me, but still let me know what you think of my little theory in the comments below.

Cult Actors 3 Claire Stansfield

On this weeks edition of Cult actors we will be taking a look at retired actress Claire Stansfield who is probably best known for her recurring role as Xena’s nemesis, the evil shameness Alti on Xena the Warrior Princess.

Before her retirement Claire had a very successful career as a cult actress and appeared in a number of sci fi and fantasy series.

 

I think it was a shame that Claire stopped acting. She had an incredible screen presence, stunning good looks and and a very wide range as an actress having played a variety of different roles, both villainous and heroic throughout her short career. I hope to one day see her return even just to voice acting as she had a fabulous voice too.

Alpha/ The Flash

One of Claire’s first roles in the short lived series based upon the character from DC comics. The Flash series though not a massive success when it first aired is now regarded as a classic.

Claire’s episode”Alpha” was definitely one of the better episodes of the series thanks in no small part to her performance. Claire does a good job in making Alpha a likable character. Though Alpha, an android who just wants to be a human, but whose creators want to use her for a more nefarious scheme isn’t a particularly origi`-hc.4’H=#nal idea, but its still nevertheless nice to see Claire play a more soft, vulnerable character unlike the normally tough and or villainous roles she would become known for.

The Jersey Devil/ The X-Files

One of Claire’s most famous roles was as the savage young woman who is mistaken for the legendary Jersey Devil in the 5th ever episode of the X-Files. Apparently Claire was recommended for the role by leading man David Duchovny who was a close personal friend of hers.  The Jersey Devil, though she does murder and eat several people is still portrayed as a somewhat sympathetic character, as she only does what she does to protect her children.

Even Mulder manages to have some empathy with her despite the fact that she attacks him as well. Her death at the end is strangely moving in spite of her many crimes and Claire is really able to bring a lot of heart and gravitas into the character making it one of the shows more memorable one shot villains.

Sid/ Twin Peaks

Claire guest starred in two episodes of the iconic cult series as the character Sid. There’s not really much to say about this role in all honesty. Though it was great to see Claire appear on such a popular series the character was still a fairly minor role.

Joanne/ The Outpost/Mind Ripper/ The Hills Have Eyes 3

Claire starred in this low budget horror movie opposite Lance Henrikson. The Outpost also known as Mindripper and The Hills Have Eyes 3 (though it has no connection with the other entries in the series apart from being produced by Wes Craven) was a movie I didn’t really bother with for a long while due to its negative reputation.

Had it not been for this article, I probably wouldn’t have bothered to track it down but I am glad I did as it is actually rather enjoyable. Its not high class entertainment, but as a cheap monster movie which is all it was ever supposed to be it works really well.

The films plot see’s a group of scientists including Claire’s character Joanne attempt to create a new serum that can transform people into super soldiers, however predictably it goes wrong and their test subject whom they nickname “Thor” escapes and goes on the rampage. Thor kills all of the scientists except for Joanne and Stockton who along with his family must try and escape from the facility.

There are a lot of very creatively gruesome deaths throughout the film and exciting action sequences. Though the ending seems almost comical the way “Thor” keeps getting defeated only to suddenly re emerge again without any explanation. First they lock him in the base, then he appears on the top of their truck even though there is no way he could have escaped from the base. Then they blow him up but then a few minutes later he is on the plane, even though we saw the plane take off and fly through the air very clearly with no one on it!

Claire herself is the one who finally finishes Thor off by shooting him in the head causing the mutant to fall several hundred feet to the ground below, though the ending implies that he has survived yet again.

Like I said the movie overall is not high class entertainment but as a silly gore fest its great and contemporary reviews have tended to be a bit more positive. I think people tend to go into the film with this mindset more often nowadays.

Regardless of the quality of the film overall Claire gives a brilliant performance. Joanne is an Ellen Ripley style hard as nails heroine. Its a shame Claire wasn’t given a chance to play this type of character more often, as I think if given the chance to appear in a mainstream movie as this type of character, she could have had a long career as a leading lady. Claire and Lance Henrikson another cult favourite both elevate this movie to being better than it actually is.

Alti/ Xena the Warrior Princess

Claire’s most famous role. Claire played this character in just 6 episodes of Xena, but she nevertheless went on to become one of the show’s most memorable characters. Alti really took over from Hudson Leick’s Callisto as Xena’s archenemy in the later seasons (with Callisto only making three appearances after Alti appeared due Leick’s desire to quit the series).

Alti served as a totally different type of villain to Callisto in a number of ways. To begin with Alti was far more powerful. Callisto had only ever been a match for Xena (though even then Xena always defeated her even when Callisto was a goddess.) Alti however was so powerful she’d usually have Xena and Gabrielle lying on the floor bloodied and crying. Xena never defeats Alti without help throughout the entire series.

Alti also had played a role in shaping Xena into an evil person in the past. With Callisto it was the total opposite she was someone who had been turned into a monster by Xena’s evil actions. Finally Callisto had always been a more sympathetic character. From the very beginning in some ways the audiences sympathies are actually with Callisto more than they are with Xena. Many would argue that she does have every right to avenge herself on the warrior princess.

Whilst some people might argue that this made Alti a less interesting character than Callisto I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a villain who is just pure evil. People often act as though those types of villains are boring compared to the more sympathetic characters, but then again remember that some of the most memorable villains across all mediums are pure monsters. Professor Moriarty, The Joker, Davros, The Yellow Eyed Demon from Supernatural and Lord Voldemort are all complete monsters with very little to no shades of grey whatsoever.

What these villains lack in depth they often more than make up for in both menace and screen presence. A total monster often provides the biggest challenge to the hero, even if they are not their most powerful enemy, as they are the ones who are willing to go the furthest in stopping the hero.

I think its always good to have a mix of different types of villains and that to me was one of Xena’s strengths. It did have a very sympathetic villain in the form of Callisto, a villain who walked a fine line in the form of Ares, a cold, logical, ruthless scheming villain in the form of Julius Ceasar and finally a complete and total monster in the form of Alti.  If Alti had been another sympathetic villain then I think it would have just been a boring retread of Callisto, but the fact that she was far more evil helped her to stand out as a different and even greater threat in some ways.

Alti first appears in the “Adventures in the Sin Trade” two parter that opens season 4. Now sadly this episode drags terribly in lots of places. The story line about one of the amazons taking Xena’s power is pointless and has a stupid cop out ending. Also the story comes at the wrong point in the shows history.

After the climactic season 3 finale, fans were no doubt expecting to find out what happened with Hope and Dahak. It wasn’t wise to introduce a new villain and character in the middle of a huge long running story.

Fortunately however Claire makes a very strong debut as Alti and indeed her performance is really the saving grace of the story. Alti knew Xena in her evil warlord days and tempted her with promises of dark power. She was able to convince Xena to slaughter twelve Amazons in cold blood after which Alti took their blood and used it to trap their souls in the nothingness between our world and the Amazons afterlife, so that she could draw psychic energy from them.

She uses this psychic to increase her own supernatural powers which include the ability to make a person experience pain from their past just by looking at them.

Xena only defeats Alti by facing her in the spiritual realm and joining with the spirits of twelve Amazons though even here she is barely able to defeat her.

Alti makes a refreshing change from the usual types of female villains that we see on television who always have to be glamorous. Though Claire Stansfield is a very beautiful woman, the character of Alti is not meant to be appealing in any way.

She wears antlers covered in blood, speaks in a deep growly voice which was modelled on Miranda Richardson’s performance as Queen Mab in Merlin. She is anything but the usual seductive femme fatale that we are used to seeing. Claire gives the character real menace and she and Lucy Lawless play off of each other perfectly, with Lucy actually making Xena seem scared of Alti at times.

The most frightening moment in the whole episode is when we see how Alti cursed Xena’s child so that it never knows the love of either of its parents, a curse which as we know ultimately came true. The final fight between Alti and Xena is also visually stunning too.

Overall “Adventures in the Sin Trade” is a mixed bag. It feels like it should be a classic, as it introduces one of the most iconic villains in the shows history, has plenty of exciting and terrifying moments and Claire Stansfield is amazing, but overall the episode just doesn’t hold together that well.

If it had come at a later point and not been a two parter then I think it would be a classic, but its just too long and plodding to come in the middle of the Dahak story arc.

Fortunately Alt’s next appearance in “Between the Lines” is much better in fact I would rate it among the top 5 Xena episodes.

This story sees Xena and Gabrielle sent into the future to battle a great evil that threatens to trap the earth in eternal darkness. This is not any old method of time travel however. The two are reincarnated in the future as their future lives. Xena and Gabrielle soon discover that the evil they are sent to battle is in fact a reincarnated Alti. In this life Alti is now a powerful warrior as opposed to just some crazy shaman and has more influence to carry out her spells. Using her vast armies Alti slaughters hundreds and thousands of innocent men, women children and infants and traps their souls in a state of perpetual agony. She draws the psychic energy from them the way she did from the Amazon spirits to make herself stronger and gains the ability to draw energy from people’s fear and pain too.

Alti hopes to use this dark power to rule the world, but before she can claim it, Xena and Gabrielle manage to bring her backwards in time. Unfortunately even in the past Alti still still kicks their asses badly.

This is probably the worst beating Xena and Gabrielle endure in the entire series. Alti thrashes the both of them at the same time, breaks Xena’s legs. makes her own shakram cut her neck, beats Gabrielle with her own staff, and makes her feel the pain of her death by crucifiction.

Its such a harrowing moment as we see Xena and Gabrielle more helpless than ever before lying on the ground literally crying with pain whilst Alti laughs at them. Never before or again would any of Xena’s enemies tower over her to such an extent.

Though Xena and Gabrielle are able to destroy Alti, again it is only with help from the same person who sent them into the future who grants them both magical powers with which they use to destroy her. Xena is then told that Alti’s spirit can never die, but that Xena and Gabrielle will always be reincarnated to stop her. In a way this makes Alti Xena’s true archnemesis as whilst Callisto may have been her mortal foe in this life, Alti is her eternal nemesis in all of her lives.

Alti was originally intended to appear in the penultimate episode this season where it would be revealed that her soul had been sent to hell, and she had now made a deal with Satan to put Xena off of the path of redemption, so that Xena’s soul would take her place in hell instead.

Ultimately however it was later decided to feature Hudson Leick in this episode instead. This was definitely the right decision as we had already had three Alti episodes this season whilst Callisto had not appeared since the season 3 finale. Also I feel this episode needed a more sympathetic villain as well. With Callisto there is a sense of injustice of her being in hell whilst Xena who torched her family, ascends to heaven which obviously there would not be with Alti.

Alti would later return in season 5 in the episode “Them Bones Them Bones”.

This is another favourite of mine though I wouldn’t say that its as good as “Between the Lines” its still quite creepy in places. Alti’s ghost begins to attack Xena in her dreams and begins to steal the soul of Xena’s unborn baby, with Alti planning to replace the baby’s soul with her own so she can be reborn. Gabrielle attempts to fight Alti in the spirit realm, but she gets her ass kicked and is almost tortured to death by Alti.

Alti later succeeds in stealing Xena’s baby’s soul and threatens to send it to hell unless Xena helps her be reborn again. With no other options Xena along with the Amazons help brings Alti’s spirit back into her body now rotted away into nothing but a skeleton. Alti re emerges as a living skeleton and taunts Xena for being weak and actually eats her child’s soul.

Fortunately however it turns out that Xena went back on her word too, and merely dragged Alti into another dream world, Xena demonstrates this by ripping all of her skin off and becoming a living skeleton too. Skeleton Xena and Alti battle it out, and Xena once again assisted by the minds of all the Amazons that are joined together is able to defeat Alti and save her child.

Much like the previous two episodes the highlight of this story is once again the final fight between skeleton Alti and skeleton Xena. I think Xena’s confrontations with Alti were always the most fun because they were always the most unusual. In Sin Trade we had the both of them flying through the woods, in “Between the Lines” we had Xena and Gabrielle blasting her with magic rays, and here we have a battle between two Harryhausen style skeletons.

Another highlight from this episode is when Alti thrashes Gabrielle. Alti’s sadistic countdown of seconds Gabrielle has left to live is a great moment of villainy.

Alti would go on to appear in just two more episodes the following year. The first of these “Send in the Clones” is a modern day episode which sees a modern day reincarnation of Alti clone Xena and Gabrielle in an attempt to ruin Xena’s reputation by making the clone go evil.

Its a pretty stupid plan. As if anyone would think it was the real Xena anyway and on top of that Alti could have used her power to rule the world, but she brought back the one person who was destined to always beat her? Maybe her mad plan could have worked but only if she had cloned Xena herself. Why on earth did she bother cloning Gabrielle the one person who always stopped Xena from going evil too?

To be fair though this episode is essentially a parody, but still even at that its quite lame. I’d say this is my least favourite Alti episode. Alti is the only saving grace and Claire really gives it her all, but even here sadly she is let down by the script which makes Alti, Xena’s most vicious opponent into a complete and utter clown. Even the final fight between Alti and Xena whilst once again the best bit is still not anywhere near as good.

Not only does Xena beat Alti far too easily (this marks the only time that Xena beats Alti on her own in the entire series, but since its not canon I don’t count it) but the fight itself is just bog standard. Alti doesn’t use any of her powers against Xena.

Its like watching Xena fight Callisto. Isn’t the whole point of Alti that she has all of these weird magic powers?

Fortunately however Alti’s final episode in the series would prove to be one of the best the series ever produced. This episode see’s Julius Cesar rewrite history so that he never betrayed Xena. As a result he and Xena went on to rule the world and Alti ends up as their high priestess. Using her psychic powers Alti is able to discover the truth behind what Xena has done and pits Xena and Cesar against one another.  She lets Xena know of what has happened and then manipulates Cesar, fearful of Xena turning against him into letting her capture Xena.

Xena is tortured by Alti and Cesar and subsequently crucified. With Xena out of the way Alti then seduces Cesar and stabs him to death whilst they make love. I suppose even though it must have been gutting (literally) for Cesar to get betrayed again by someone close to him, look on the bright side. At least this time it was in the middle of sex with Claire Stansfield.

Having deposed both of the rulers of the Roman empire in gruesome ways. Alti appears to have won, but before she can begin her reign of terror, Gabrielle rewrites history and Alti is destroyed for good. This episode marks the only time Alti gets to meet another of Xena’s major enemies, Julius Cesar played by Karl Urban.

I think it was a shame we never got to see Alti meet Ares particularly as Claire Stansfield and the late Kevin Smith where such close friends. Alti and Callisto of course would have been the ultimate showdown of Xena’s major enemies. Still her interactions with Cesar are great as she plays on his vanity and paranoia.

Right from the start its obvious that Cesar is out of his depth in dealing with her yet his arrogance leads him to believe she is afraid of him. One thing I didn’t like about this episode however was the way Alti seduces Cesar.

This was apparently at the behest of Claire Stansfield herself. Claire had gotten tired of Alti being made to look unattractive in previous episodes with her character even being described as a “pathetic bag of bones” and an “old hag”. So for her final appearance Claire wanted the character to be sexy.

I think this was a mistake as like I said before I rather liked that about Alti that she was one of the few villains unlike say Servalan from Blake’s 7 or Darla from Angel who didn’t have to be a seductive, alluring femme fatale.  Even Callisto had seduced Ares earlier in the series. Also I don’t see any reason for Alti to seduce Cesar within the story itself. She was already clearly powerful enough to kill him anyway. Having said that though Alti stabbing him in bed was quite a nice parallel with Cesar’s dream from season 4, where Xena stabbed him in bed.

Whilst its sad we don’t get one big last Xena/Alti fight, the final moments where we see Xena, tortured, beaten and bloodied and dying on the cross whilst Alti laughs at her misfortune are truly chilling and Claire absolutely excels at it.

Alti not surprisingly was Claire’s favourite role. She would become a regular at Xena and sci fi and fantasy conventions around the world and became friends with many cast members including even those she did not appear in episodes with, such as Hudson Leick and Alexandra Tydings. Sadly despite the popularity of the Alti character it would be Claire’s last role before her retirement.

Retirement

Claire appeared in many tv shows and films throughout her career including a leading role opposite Dolph Lundgren in the movie Sweepers which saw her play the main heroine.

She also appeared in “Sensation” which saw her do a love scene with Eric Roberts. Its quite funny in a way to see Claire Stansfield, Xena’s archenemy Alti, and Eric Roberts who played the Doctor’s archenemy The Master hooking up.

Sadly however after Xena, Claire decided to retire from acting. Apparently she had never enjoyed it very much, having only taken it up to make money. She even said in an interview with the website Woosh that if she could do it all over again she would not become an actor. After leaving acting she set up C and C California a clothing line specialising in 1970’s style T-shirts. She later after selling the company in 2005 became an interior designer and has enjoyed a successful career. Indeed Claire doesn’t seem to be doing too badly at all these days.

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=7&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CEQQFjAG&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.onekingslane.com%2Flive-love-home%2Fat-home-with-claire-stansfield%2F&ei=Rk5KVID3AZCd7gaw8YCgAQ&usg=AFQjCNHlqFruzFF0gft2lyS-rlpgb9eR8w&sig2=5JKfgiVZ_lcA2Y-fpiREoQ

Whilst Claire did not enjoy acting she still appreciates her role in Xena and its fans and is still both a regular and a favourite at Xena conventions around the world. I hope that one day Claire comes out of retirement. Obviously there is no need for her too financially, but still I felt she was a very special talent and would have liked to see her play more roles.

Still even if she doesn’t, at the very least she will always be my favourite Xena villain and a much loved cult actress.

Thanks for reading

[

Top 10 Mighty Boosh and League of Gentlemen Monsters

Image result for the mighty boosh

Image result for the league of gentlemen

The Mighty Boosh and The League of Gentlemen though both strictly comedy series have nevertheless also been responsible for creating some of the most unique and imaginative monsters in the history of British television.

In this article I am going to run through what I feel were the most memorable monsters from either show. With a little tinkering, some of these guys genuinely wouldn’t look out of place in a horror movie!

10/ Spirit of Jazz

This creepy ghost appears in just two episodes. In his first appearance he is simply referred to as the Spirit of Jazz and makes a deal with Howard Moon to grant him incredible musical talent in exchange for his soul. In his second appearance in series 3 his past and true name are revealed.

He was once a great Jazz musician named Howlin Jimmy Jefferson who lived on a swamp and rode alligators to work, but he succumbed to a disease that made his hands vanish. His final recording which eventually came into the possession of Howard Moon had a piece of his blood on it which allows him to possess Vince Noir when he eats a piece of it.

The Spirit of Jazz is a great villain. He has an amazing look and Noel Fielding plays him superbly making the character both funny and at times quite creepy, such as in his first appearance where he turns to the camera and says calmly “what are you looking at”.

However he only doesn’t score quite as highly as the others on this list as he doesn’t really do anything that bad. In his first episode all he does is make Howard Moon look like a fool when he possesses him (which isn’t that hard a task.) In his second appearance he does almost kill Vince, but again its not in that gruesome a way and he ends up walking away, whimpering! Though he does kill Vince’s punk friends, chances are he wouldn’t last long against the other monstrosities on this list.

 

9/ David Tattysirup 

Tubbs and Edwards son David at first is a nice, mild mannered gentleman who wants to free his mother from his fathers abuse. Unfortunately Edward later corners him and when we next see David he has decided to live “locally”. He also now has the same deformed pig like snout as his parents.

David degenerates into a 7 foot tall bestial, hairy monster that even Tubbs and Edward are afraid of. Tubbs and Edward capture several people an attempt to make them into wives for David. David however kills most of them and even eats a few such as Haig.

However eventually Tubbs and Edward are able to find him a bride in the form of Barbara, the transexual cab driver. Despite being kidnapped Barbara does genuinely fall in love with David. David however is promptly burned to death by the angry villagers of Royston Vasey in a parody of the original 1931 Frankenstein, ironically for a crime neither he nor his parents had committed.

Throughout most of David’s appearances we only get little glimpses of his eyes in the dark, or his claw at the window or maybe we see him from the back for a brief moment or hear him growling, but we never see him properly.

David is arguably the most tragic monster on this list which makes his Frankenstein like death somewhat more fitting. David originally was one of the few decent characters in The League of Gentleman and genuinely wanted to help his mother, but it was his father who turned him into a monster. Its never revealed what it is exactly Edward did to David to make him like them, but its probably best we don’t know.

 

8/ Old Gregg

One of the most popular Boosh characters. Gregg is a scaly manfish with a mangina who captures Howard Moon because he is infatuated with him. Old Gregg also enjoys painting and killing people and putting their severed heads onto walls. He and Howard also perform a song together called “Love Games” which came long before Lady Gaga’s and is better in my opinion.

Though Howard spurns Old Gregg’s advances at first. In the 2006 stage show after it is revealed that Howard has a Shenis, he and Old Gregg go off to make sweet, sweet love. Greg is a truly horrifying creation. A disgusting fish monster that captures people shows them its genitals and forces them to have sex with it or else it tortures, devours and then keeps their severed heads as trophies on its wall. However Noel Fielding plays him in such a lovable child like way that its hard not like him, so that’s why I wouldn’t rate him quite as highly as some of the other villains on this list.

 

7/ Nanatutu 

An ancient and powerful Demon that looks like an old woman. Nanatutu who is summoned from hell by Vince and Howard when they are trying to impress some Goth girls. Not since Kitten Kong from the Goodies has there been such a wonderfully crazy idea for a monster. This story marked one of the few times the Mighty Boosh ventured into horror. Normally the villains and monsters in the Boosh had more of a fairy tale quality to them, but Nanatutu felt more like a parody of old horror movies and tv series too like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which made her quite unusual among Boosh villains.

6/ Hilary Bliss

I am not sure if he technically counts as a monster or not, but either way he is still one of the shows most horrible characters. Bliss is a butcher who sells highly addictive “special stuff”. What exactly this special stuff is is never revealed. The creators have insisted it is not human meat as in their view that wouldn’t be horrible enough.

Bliss is shown to acquire this “special stuff” from a mysterious figure at night who is never properly seen and appears to travel everywhere with a horrible ape man beside him. In the second series Bliss’s “special stuff” ends up creating a lethal plague of nosebleeds which kills many people in Royston Vasey including the towns mayor. Bliss is ultimately able to flee whilst the villagers end up burning Tubbs and Edward alive whom they believe are responsible for the plague.

Bliss meanwhile escapes to Jamaica where he lives the rest of his life in safety and it is implied gets up to his old tricks again. Bliss is about the only badguy on this list who does not get his just deserts in any way. Though he does appear in the movie where he redeems himself before dying, the movie is not considered canon. Within the tv shows continuity he gets away with causing the deaths of half of Royston Vasey.

5/ The Hitcher

Probably the Boosh’s most iconic as well as its most recurring villain The Hitcher is actually based to some extent on a real person, with his voice coming from Noel Fieldings grandfather.

The Hitcher is also referred to as Babu Yagu, the Evil Cockney and the Eel Man and his origin, back story and appearance all change from episode to episode. In his first appearance he is depicted as a demonic wizard who kidnaps evil animals for his evil zoo, which  like the TARDIS is bigger on the inside than the outside. He also has an enlarged thumb that he got from a shaman wizard after his family made him feel ashamed of having such a small thumb.

In his second appearance however he is now an evil alien overlord who comes from the same planet as Naboo and hopes to gain control of the fountain of youth to create an army of clones that he can use to rule the universe. His thumbs are also both normal. In this episode the character is clearly based on the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz too and even dies in a similar fashion when he is melted in the fountain.

In his final appearance he is simply a serial killer who wanders the streets of Camden and has a perverse obsession with eels. He also claims to be an orphan and looks much younger, with there also being no explanation as to how he survived being melted in his previous appearance.

The Hitcher is a wonderfully absurd creation and demonstrates one of the great things about the Boosh that literally anything can happen in it.

There are no rules, continuity, or logic to the show. Its completely anarachic which is why the Hitcher can die in one episode then pop up completely fine the next. In terms of his appearance the Hitcher draws on characters like the Wicked Witch with his green skin, long nose and dark clothes which again helps to add to the overall fairy tale theme of the show.

Having said that though I always thought that the Hitcher also looked a bit like Der Kindestod. For those of you who don’t know, Der Kindestod was a Demon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer who devoured small children. He was one of the shows scariest monsters in my opinion and I can’t decide if his similarity to the Hitcher makes Der Kindestod funnier or the Hitcher scarier.

I think it makes the Hitcher scarier. Hell for all we know the Hitcher is Der Kindestod as even though Buffy snapped his neck maybe he came back from that the way he came back from being melted by Naboo? Who knows?

4/ Herr Lipp

Herr Lipp is a truly disturbing character. He is a deformed Vampire who prays on teenage boys. He is responsible for probably the most horrific death in the whole show when he captures the object of his affections, a young boy named Justin whom he buries alive, leaving him with a small breathing tube hidden in the back of his garden. I had nightmares about this scene as a child. What makes Herr Lipp slightly worse is the way he is to some extent aware of what a monster he is, as demonstrated when he says to someone who catches him after he falls. “You saved my life I will never forgive you”.

3/ Papa Lazarou

One of the League’s most memorable characters. Lazarou is an evil circus man who is also immortal and enjoys capturing women whom he turns into his brides and then locks in cages, or inside animals. He also calls all of his “wives” Dave for some reason.

Lazrou is at times a genuinely frightening character. The moment in he christmas special where he captures a young woman whilst dressed as Santa and then returns years later to capture a daughter commenting “nice to see you all grown up” is one of the few moments where you forget you are watching a comedy.

Much like the Hitcher, Papa Lazarou is actually based to some extent on a real person incredibly enough. Apparently Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton’s old landlord would for some bizarre reason only ever want to speak to Steve and would always ask “Hello Steve, is Steve in” the same way Papa Lazarou always asks to speak to Dave, though the fact that he always says Dave is also no doubt an homage to 2001 a space odyssey.

2/ Tubbs and Edward

The Leagues two most famous creations. Tubbs and Edward are a married couple who are also brother and sister (though Edward is apparently in his 80’s whilst Tubbs is in her 20’s.) They are both based on classic horror movie characters. Edward is based on Lon Chaney’s performance as the Phantom of the Opera whilst Tubbs is based on Chaney’s performance as the Hunchback of Notre Damme.

Though they are outsiders to most of the main action of the series and they make fewer appearances than many other main characters. They are still the shows two most popular characters nonetheless and their catchphrase “this is a local shop for local people” is probably the first thing that springs to mind whenever you mention the show to someone.

The two kill far more people than any other characters in the series, though of the two of them Tubbs is the more sympathetic, suffering greatly at the hands of Edward and is often forced into going along with his more twisted schemes.

Still Tubbs is a mass murderer and sadist too, who often takes a perverse sexual delight in torturing her victims. Tubbs and Edward despise people who are not local (despite the fact that Edward is not local. It makes sense though in a way, as the worst zealot is normally an outsider.)

They will always torture and kill non locals, though there are a few local people who fall victim to their madness too. Below is a list of all of their victims though according to the DVD extra’s Edward has in fact killed over 500 people.

A young traveller whom Tubbs rapes and Edward burns alive. Tubbs also steals his shoes.

A policeman who comes looking for their first victim whom they have to kill after Tubbs accidentally blurts out “we didn’t burn him!”. Its not clear how they kill him, but his skull is later seen near their shop.

Two construction workers who are building a road to link Royston Vasey with the outside world. They are captured, stripped, forced to watch Tubbs breast feed a pig, smeared in burning hot tar, raped by Tubbs and then cut free and shot with cross bow bolts by Edward.

David, their own son technically as David starts out as a nice kind individual who thanks to something his father does to him, ends up as a degenerate cannibalistic monster.

Haig a painter that they capture and lock in David’s room, David promptly rapes and devours Haig.

The two also torture and kill another passer by by tying him to their car and dragging him for several miles.

They also trap a young woman in a bear trap and leave her there when they discover she is not local.

They kill three women whom they capture as brides for David by accident when they lock them in the boot of their car and they suffocate.

Edward kills a passer by through unknown means and smears his corpse in blue paint so that he can be “someone blue” for Davids wedding.

Despite their long list of victims Tubbs and Edward are finally ironically punished for something they didn’t do when the villagers of Royston Vasey believed that they are responsible for Hilary Bliss’s plague. Though David succumbs to the flames Tubbs and Edward survive, but are later killed in a comically anti climactic way when a train hits them.

However the two reappear in the season finale when we see they are reborn as their own grandchildren which suggests that the two are in fact a curse on Royston Vasey who will never go away. They also appear in both the live show where Edward is sent to hell for his sins, whilst Tubbs redeems herself and is sent to heaven

They finally also appear in the film where they along with Papa Lazarou are sent to try and stop Royston Vasey from being destroyed.

Both of these appearances are set outside of the shows cannon however.

1/ The Crack Fox

The most horrible monster in either show.

By and large I think the monsters in the league of Gentleman were scarier and more gruesome. (It was more of a horro show after all, whilst the Mighty Boosh was more surrealist.)

Still The Boosh has one monster that for me stands head and shoulders above the rest. The Crack Fox is just disgusting and ghastly in every way, but what makes him so unnerving is the way he switches from seeming just like a little crazy, but harmless character to a deranged psychopath so quickly. “I’M GONNA HURT YOU REAL BAD WHEN WE GET INSIDE”, “What?” “nothing just a funny, funny sound” 

The Crack Fox whose real name is Jerome is a homosexual party animal who has fallen on hard times. Homeless and addicted to drugs he still manages to steal a powerful magical juice with which he hopes to destroy all of humanity. This was the best performance from Julian Barratt in my opinion. Prior to this he had always seemed like the straight man to me out of the two of them, but he proved with this performance that he could play the more over the top characters as well.

 

Xena the Warrior Princess vs Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Xena the Warrior Princess and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are two of the most iconic genre series of the late 90s, early 00s. Its no exaggeration to say that they changed the face of television forever and helped inspire a generation of female heroes.

Which is better however? Well as always I can’t say for everyone, but I am going to look at both series side by side and conclude which I feel to be superior.

Overview 

Xena the Warrior Princess played by Lucy Lawless originally began as a supporting character on the cult classic Hercules The Legendary Journeys. She started out as a villain who attempted to turn Hercules’ friend Iolaus against him.

The intention was for Xena to eventually redeem herself, fall in love with Hercules and then die over the course of 3 episodes.

The character however proved to be so popular that she would later be given her own series by Rob Tapert.

Xena The Warrior Princess originally began in 1996 and would last for 6 seasons. It saw Xena travel the world alongside her sidekick, Gabrielle. Though initially conceived as having a platonic relationship, over time it was be strongly hinted and later confirmed that the two were in love.

Xena’s archenemy was Callisto, a young woman whose village Xena had burned down during her evil days when Callisto was just a child. Driven completely insane and consumed with vengeance towards the Warrior Princess. Callisto and Xena’s feud would defy even death itself, with Callisto returning from the grave many times to torment her archfoe.

Xena and Callisto were definitely one of the best realised examples of the archenemy trope in all of fiction.

Another major supporting character was Ares the Greek God of War played by the late Kevin Tod Smith. Ares in contrast to Callisto was deeply in love with Xena and would regularly try and tempt her back to her evil ways.

Arguably Xena’s most dangerous enemy however would be the evil shamaness Alti played by Claire Stansfield, who had also played a key role in Xena’s descent into darkness.

Xena eventually eclipsed its parent show Hercules in both impact and popularity. At the height of its success it was seen in more countries around the world than any other television series at that point.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was created by Joss Whedon. Premiering in 1997 (after a 1992 movie starring Kristy Swanson as Buffy rather than Sarah Michelle Gellar who went on to play her in the show.)

Buffy is the slayer, latest in a long line of young women who are gifted with the supernatural strength and skills needed to kill Vampires, Demons and other monsters.

Buffy lives in the town of Sunnydale which is located directly above a portal to a hell dimension called the Hellmouth. With the aid of her friends that include her mentor and Watcher Rupert Giles, the Witch Willow Rosenberg, her best friend Xander Harris, and her reformed (most of the time) Vampire lovers, Angel and Spike. Buffy battles the forces of darkness and saves the world… a lot.

Buffy not only ran for 7 seasons, but also spawned a highly successful spin off Angel which ran for 5 years.

Buffy and Xena were really the two most influential fantasy series of the 90s. In much the same way as Classic Doctor Who and Star Trek the Original Series laid down the foundations that almost every genre series for the next few decades would follow; then so did Xena and Buffy for almost every genre series that would come after them for the next 20 years.

New Doctor Who, Merlin, Supernatural, Charmed, Torchwood and Teen Wolf have all been greatly inspired by Buffy and Xena and follow tropes that they laid down.

Buffy and Xena also became famous not only for their strong female leads, but for their LGBT characters too.

Buffy’s best friend Willow was a lesbian and her girlfriend Tara Maclay went on to become one of the most popular characters in the series, whilst obviously Xena and Gabrielle themselves went on to become LGBT icons.

Both Xena and Buffy had a somewhat similar style to each other in that both blended overt humour, even downright surrealism in with serious drama and darker content.

With this in mind its not hard to see why the two shows have enjoyed such overlap in fandom. Joss Whedon has also always acknowledged Xena as not only being a big influence on him, paved the way for Buffy and other female heroes too. There were even a couple of affectionate references to Xena in the Buffy and Angel franchise.

Lorne:  “Just remember, keep your heads down.  Xenophobia kind of a watch-word where I’m from.” 
Gunn:  “I don’t get it.  Why’re they afraid of Xena?  I mean, I think she’s kind of fly.” 
Wesley:  “Xenophobia.  Fear of foreigners?

So overall I’d say there is a lot of goodwill between the two 90’s classics and as we will see the two shows would regularly explore similar ideas and characters to one another.

1/ Main Character

Xena

Buffy

Now unlike with other characters of both series there are no real similarities between these two. In fact Xena and Buffy are actually polar opposites.

Xena is the type of hero who is never vulnerable in fights. Even when facing down gods, she still has the advantage. She is also a completely larger than life character who lives in a total fantasy world and physically she looks intimidating and frightening.

Buffy on the other hand when it comes to fights is rarely not vulnerable. Buffy is always the underdog against villains like the Master, The Mayor or Adam, and instead often has to think of another way round her problems. Buffy also though living in a world with Vampires, Demons and monsters, still deals with everyday problems like going to school, working a 9-5 shift in a low paying job, social services taking her sister away, and her mum dying of a brain tumor.

Finally in terms of appearance Buffy is meant to look harmless. She looks like the little blond girl who is always lured away to be killed. At first glance seems like the monsters ideal victim with the twist being that she turns around and kicks its ass.

Whilst there are similarities between both series ultimately the two main characters are as different as night and day, so there is no way to really compare them. Instead I am just going to look at who I like better.

I am going to have to go with Xena this time. Xena to me was always a more interesting character. I liked her dark past. I know that anti heroes had been done to death, but Xena was quite an original take on the idea. Never before had there been an anti hero who had done such terrible things. Xena had literally been one of the worst people who had ever lived. She had slaughtered thousands of innocent men, women and children. That goes beyond even characters like Wolverine and really to make a character like that who had such a dark past someone we could root for was incredible.

Xena I think would also be influential on the Buffy franchise this way. Whilst there are no comparisons between the Buffy and Xena characters that can be drawn, as many have pointed out the character of Angel, Buffy’s Vampire lover bares a number of similarities to Xena.

Angel like Xena was once the worst of the worst, an evil bloodthirsty Vampire who killed thousands of innocent people, but after being cursed with a soul he is now on a course of redemption. Angel like Xena also has to deal with people from his dark past who still haven’t forgiven him such as Holtz and Callisto who are two comparable characters.

Both Holtz and Callisto have lost their families to the main hero when the hero was evil and still seek revenge, not caring that the hero is a different person now. Both also despite being villains actually earn the audiences sympathy as in any other work of fiction they would be the hero. Callisto would be someone like Uma Thurman’s Bride from Kill Bill (who was apparently inspired by Callisto) whilst Holtz would be a Vampire Hunter, the likes of which Peter Cushing probably would have played who was tracking down the evil Vampire that killed his loved ones. Unfortunately however because their targets have now become good they are seen as the villains.

At the same time I think we have seen other similar characters emerge besides Angel who have done the most twisted and evil things, and are now on a course of redemption since Xena, such as the Regina The Evil Queen from Once Upon A Time.

Buffy meanwhile whilst she was a great character the idea behind her wasn’t that original. I liked the mythology of the Slayer. That was an inspired idea that every generation one girl was given power to hunt Vampires.

However the idea of the Buffy character herself of a teenage hero who has to balance their everyday lives with their superhero identities has been done a billion times before and yes there had even been female heroes like that before, such as Kitty Pride from the X-Men. That’s not to say that Buffy was a bad character, but if we are doing a comparison here then Xena I feel was simply more original.

Winner

Xena 1/ Buffy 0

2/Heroes Best Friend

Gabrielle

Willow

Again these two characters are not really that similar. They are to some extent, both start out as vulnerable and wimpy, but then become strong by the end of the show. Both are also lesbian icons as well, though to be fair the character of Gabrielle was actually bisexual. Still this one is very easy for me to choose. Its Willow 100 percent.

I liked Gabrielle in the first three seasons of Xena. She was a brilliant character in the first 3 years and her and Xena’s relationship developed quite nicely. We saw how Gabrielle started out as Xena’s little sidekick who idolized her and everything she did but eventually became so much more than that .

She was the one person who could hold Xena back when she lost it which given the Warrior princesses history was quite often. One of my favourite moments is in early season 1 where Ares has driven Xena over the edge by pretending to be her father and then made her believe that villagers have murdered her father. Gabrielle is the one who actually manages to stop Xena from killing the villagers in revenge.

She uses force when standing up to Xena at one point, even though she would have no chance. Gabrielle also goes behind Xena’s back too however in season 3 on two occasions which results in disaster for both of them. A lot of fans disliked “The Rift” story arc in series 3, but I thought it was great and really brought and interesting new dynamic to their relationship and showed how Gabrielle wasn’t just the little irritating blonde who followed Xena everywhere.

Sadly however from season 4 on the writers of the show somewhat wasted Gabrielle’s character.

In season 4 they make Gabrielle a hippie chick which they quickly abandon in season 5 making it look like it was just a shallow phase for her rather than a proper development.

After that she then becomes nothing more than Xena’s cheerleader for seasons 5 and 6. She tells Xena she is fabulous in every way and is pretty much pushed into the background for most of it. Even when Xena cracks her head open with the chakram in season 5 she doesn’t say anything back to Xena.

Gone is the character in season 1 who hit Xena with a staff to stop her in her tracks if need be. Her ending is also similarly lame as she just ends up becoming Xena the second as if that’s the only way she can ever become interesting is to become a clone of Xena.

Willow meanwhile I felt was an interesting character throughout all of Buffy’s run. Some fans hated how she became a magic junkie in series six, but I liked it.

I felt it made sense within the character. Willow had been someone who had been put down her entire life and was now getting a taste of unimaginable power, it would be likely to go to her head. They had already planted seeds that Willow was capable in fits of anger of misusing her power as far back as season 4, so it didn’t feel like it came out of the blue or was out of character for me.

Also I liked how Willow in the last episode of Buffy became a hero in her own right having finally mastered her magical abilities and made a difference in the world. She didn’t just become Buffy mark 2.

Winner

Xena 1/ Buffy 1

3/ Best Supernatural Lovable Rogue

Ares

Spike

Now these two characters are very similar. In fact in some ways they are practically the same character who undergoes the same development on both shows.

Both Ares and Spike were very popular characters as both were among the most well developed characters on either series. Spike and Ares also had major roles on both series in their respective franchises as well. Ares appeared in both Xena and Hercules as a main villain whilst Spike was a season regular on both Buffy and Angel at different points. Unlike a lot of other characters we were able to see how they interacted with the two different heroes, Xena and Hercules and Buffy and Angel.

Spike’s relationship with both Buffy and Angel was comparable to Ares relationship with Xena and Hercules.

On the series starring the female hero Ares starts out as a villain, arguably Xena’s archnemesis after Callisto. However as time goes on we discover that he is in fact in love with Xena and we start to see a more sympathetic side to him from that point on.

Ares in order to win Xena’s love does genuinely good things like giving up his godhood in order to protect her daughter. At the same time Xena finds herself drawn to him though she can’t ever quite admit that she loves him due to his nature, but still when he is vulnerable as a human she protects him. Whilst Ares love for Xena does bring out his good side, at the same time his obsessive love for her also drives him to ironically do some of his most twisted acts too. In season 5 he threatens to reveal the location of her daughter to the gods who will kill her unless she gives him a child. Ares is a very morally grey character overall throughout most of Xena’s run.

Spike similarly on the show starring a female hero starts out as a villain. Eventually however he realises he has fallen in love with Buffy too and just like Ares with Xena, Spike’s love for Buffy causes him to do good things including winning his soul for her and destroying the Firsts army. Buffy also finds herself drawn to Spike too, but can never at least until the last episode admit that she loves him, though she still does protect him when he is vulnerable in season 7 after gaining his soul. However also like Ares, Spike’s love for Buffy does cause him to do horrible things such as the infamous scene where he attempts to rape an injured Buffy.

On the series starring a male lead Hercules, Ares is a very different character. Initially he is a lot more menacing and villainous. On Xena even from the beginning it was obvious he had feelings for her and always held back to an extent when facing her, but with Hercules he hates him completely and genuinely wishes to destroy him. He is much more vicious in his early Hercules appearances such as the Hind Blood trilogy.

However incredibly enough as time goes one he ends up becoming a more comical character as we discover that his feud with Hercules is actually a lot more petty and childish than we initially believed. Ares is merely jealous of Hercules because Hercules is Zeus’s favourite child. He is also resentful of Hercules’s relationship with Xena too as it was Hercules who redeemed Xena. In later series Ares and Hercules seem more like the squabbling brothers they actually are.

Spike similarly on the show with a male lead Angel initially starts out as much darker character. In his single villainous appearance in the Angel season 1 episode, “In the Dark” Spike is a lot more effective as a villain than he ever was on Buffy.

On Buffy though unlike Ares it wasn’t obvious he had feelings for her from the start he was still not quite as villainous as he appeared on Angel. In his early season 2 appearances on Buffy there was always his love for Drusilla that showed a softer side to the character and at times made him appear even sympathetic.

However in “In the Dark” Spike is portrayed as an absolute sadistic, evil bloodthirsty monster. He works alongside what is probably the most twisted Vampire in both shows, Marcus a Vampire who aside from enjoying torturing people; also enjoys torturing, raping and eating children! Spike hires Marcus to help him torture Angel.

When Spike reappears in season 5 however he becomes a more comical character and much like Ares and Hercules’s rivalry, his feud with Angel becomes more petty. Angel and Spike are not actually brothers but their relationship is still like that of two squabbling brothers overall. Spike is also resentful of Angel’s relationship with Buffy in much the same way Ares was of Hercules’s relationship with Xena.

There are plenty of great comedic moments in later Angel episodes with Spike such as his wrestling with “the wee little puppet man” version of Angel, or arguing with him about who would win in a fight astronauts or cavemen. Both James Marsters who played Spike and Joss Whedon the creator of the series have said that they felt there was greater potential for comedy in Angel for the character of Spike.

So which one of these two very similar characters is better? Well its very hard to say as both where excellent characters’ well developed, brilliantly written and superbly acted by James Marsters and the late Kevin Smith.

Ultimately however I am going to go with Buffy here and say Spike was the better of the two characters. I actually prefer Ares relationship with Xena to Spike’s romance with Buffy. Spike’s romance to Buffy I never liked. To begin with I didn’t think James Marsters and Sarah Michelle Gellar had that much chemistry with each other. Certainly not on the level of Kevin Smith and Lucy Lawless.

Also I think that the romance was completely out of character for both Spike and Buffy. It came completely out of the blue in season 5 with no hint of attraction earlier apart from when Faith was briefly in Buffy’s body. With Xena and Ares meanwhile there was a hint of attraction from the second they were first on screen together. If anything the revelation that Ares was actually in love with Xena helped to explain his behaviour towards her in earlier series.

It explained why he had been so focused on her. Obviously there was the fact that she was the greatest warrior he had come across, but even then his obsession seemed to go beyond business and surely if he was looking at it objectively he would have killed Xena by now . He would have realised that there was no way she would become evil again and therefore as someone who was a far better fighter than any of his own warriors she would be too great a threat to him to be allowed to live?

Still despite this overall Spike was the better character.

Spike was simply more fleshed out than Ares. Its not surprising really as Spike was after all a season regular on both shows where as Ares was only ever a guest star. With Spike we saw more of his character, such as his life as a human where he was a big momma’s boy, an unappreciated poet, his time as one of the most evil Vampires in history and his relationship with Angel.

I will say too that whilst the Xena/Ares relationship was better than the Spike/Buffy one the Spike/Angel relationship was much better than the Ares/Hercules relationship. Spike and Angel in my opinion have among the best relationship of any two fictional characters, though to be fair we see more of that in Angel. Spike I also feel is a more iconic character too. Indeed he is probably the character that people remember the most after Buffy herself from that franchise.

Spike overall I feel is the better character so I’m giving this one to the Buffster.

Winner

Xena 1/ Buffy 2

4/ Best Archenemy

Callisto

Faith

Both of these characters are not quite as similar as Ares and Spike are. Both serve as a classic nemesis for the hero, and both also blame the hero for their downfall though Callisto has more of a point. Personally whilst they are both excellent villains, I am going to go with Xena on this one and say that Callisto was the better villain. Callisto was a lot more sympathetic. Xena had genuinely wronged her where as Faith I felt was given every opportunity for a normal life but threw it back until it was too late. Callisto on the other hand was a character who managed to murder a child in her first appearance yet we still felt sympathy for her.

Xena 2/ Buffy 2

Winner

5/ Male Damsal in Distress

Joxer

Xander

Whilst the two characters were different they fulfilled the same role in both series. They were both the comic relief’s, both the helpless members of the team’s, the damsel in distress. Both also had an unrequited love for one of the main female heroes, Gabrielle and Buffy.

Buffy takes this one as Xander was a much better character for me. Joxer was a very funny character but they did not develop him in any way shape or form even after all he had been through. He was still just the same clown we saw from series 1 on.

Winner

Xena 2/ Buffy 3

6/ Best Root of All Evil

Dahak

The First

These two characters are both meant to represent the source of all evil in their respective universes. Both also do not have a physical form and must work either through their minions or through manipulation of the main heroes. Whilst Dahak and The First may have no physical power. They arguably cause more pain to the main heroes than any other villain.

The First almost drives Angel to kill himself in his debut appearance. You might not think that is so impressive as Angel ultimately doesn’t do it, but consider this; Angel is driven to such a point that even Buffy is not able to talk him down. It is only the intervention of the powers that be themselves, who are the Buffyverse version of god that prevents Angel from killing himself by literally preventing the sun from coming up.

When he next appears The First is able to drive Spike to lunacy and later hypnotises him into killing half of Sunnydale. He then raises a super Vampire that beats the shit out of Buffy, destroys the watchers council, threatens to exterminate the entire slayer line forever, kills dozens of potential slayers, drives one to suicide in Buffy’s own home under her nose, and has his minion Caleb tear out Xanders eye which in turn along with his murder of several potential slayers convinces Buffy’s oldest friends to turn on her. Though his plan to unleash an army of thousands of Vampires to destroy mankind ultimately fails. He still ends up causing the complete destruction of Sunnydale, the death of hundreds of potentials and Anya and Spike too.

Dahak meanwhile does just as much shit to the main heroes of both Xena and Hercules. On Xena he tricks Gabrielle into killing for the first time, destroying her innocence in the process. He then rapes her afterwards, forcing her to give birth to his hellish daughter Hope. Hope in turn goes onto to manipulate Gabrielle into betraying Xena after which she then murders Xena’s only son Solon, which in turn leads Xena to almost torture Gabrielle to death.

Hope then having survived her mothers attempts to murder her very nearly erases Hercules from existence. By the end of season 3 Dahak has both Ares and Callisto as his minions, the two main villains of the series. Though his plans are thwarted in Xena season 3, he later crosses over into Hercules where he cause the death of Herc’s best friend and takes over his body (after manipulating his soul in the afterlife into letting him use his body and enter our world), wipes out the Norse Gods (though Herc undoes this), manipulates all of Hercules friends into turning on him, very nearly kills Ares and nearly wipes out all life on earth before finally being defeated. So which one is better?

Well hard to say. I liked The First’s minions better. The Turok Han were cool (in their first appearance at least) and Caleb was one of the best villains in either show. However I still think Dahak was a better take on the idea. Dahak scared me much more growing up and I think Dahak has more of an impact on the main characters being responsible for the infamous “gab drag” scene after all. Also the fact that Dahak managed to be a main villain on two series also shows what a stronger character he is. Even Dahak’s name is much cooler so I am going to go with Xena on this one.

Winner

 f

Xena 3/ Buffy 3

7/ Best Batshit Crazy Villain

Alti

Drusilla

Both of these villains take the prize for being the most insane badguys in their respective franchises (which is no mean feat I can assure you). Both are great characters but once again I am going to go with Xena here and say Alti was better. Of the two of them Drusilla was definitely the more sympathetic and fleshed out character, Alti was just a monster.

However I still love Alti more because she was more dangerous. Alti thrashed Xena every time they met. Xena only ever beat Alti with help apart from “Send in the Clones which might not even be canon. In their first confrontation Xena only beats Alti because she joins with the Amazon spirits making her as strong as they all are combined, in their second fight she only wins through some magic power she and Gabrielle are given at the last minute and in “Them Bones Them Bones”, Xena again has to join with all of the Amazons to stop Alti in the dream world. Any time Xena tries to face Alti without help she gets her ass kicked really badly.

Watch “Between the lines” when Xena and Gabrielle try to fight Alti on their own they don’t just lose. They are both lying on the floor cut all over, broken ribs, broken legs crying and whimpering whilst Alti, who doesn’t even have a scratch on her is laughing at them!

Drusilla even though I liked her was sadly often quite underwhelming as a villain. She didn’t do anything in season 2. For the first half of the series she is too ill and just sits at home babbling mad things whilst Spike does all of the badguy stuff. After she gets better she raises the judge, but even then Spike plays just as big a role as she does in raising him and also the Judge isn’t particularly impressive either.

Round about this time Angelus also shows up and takes over from Spike as the main bad guy. He does all the fighting with Buffy, killing main characters, trying to bring about the end of the world. All Drusilla does once again is just stand around at the back babbling mad stuff. She doesn’t actually get to fight Buffy once in season 2 at all. She does get to do a lot more in Angel season 2 like turning Darla, but still overall I feel Alti makes more of an impression as a villain and so I much prefer her.

Winner

Xena 4/ Buffy 3

8/ Best Musical

Both series did musical episodes, in fact Xena did two. Xena also did its musical episode before Buffy. Of the two of them Buffy’s however is far more famous. Sadly even though it came first I don’t think anyone other than Xena fans are aware that Xena did a musical episode. Now as to which one I prefer well to be honest I don’t have much time for either episode.

I know you’re probably going to ask me to hand in my resignation as a fan of both series, but I really don’t like either of them. I am not that big a fan of musicals overall to be honest and I can’t stand it when a tv series does one. It seems gimmicky and I also don’t like the fact that the musical episodes come at such important times in both series too.

I would have loved to have seen a proper episode of Xena that resolved what happened with Gabrielle and Xena after Solon’s death and similarly I would have liked to see a proper scene of Buffy telling her friends that they pulled her out of heaven, but instead both of those potentially great moments happened in stupid, cheesy songs.

Still if I had to choose one then it would be the Xena musical simply because Lucy Lawless I think has a much better singing voice than anyone in Buffy, though James Marsters, Anthony Head and Amber Benson all had great voices too, but Lucy’s voice is as gorgeous as she is.

Winner

Xena 5/ Buffy 3

9/Best body swap episode

Intimate Stranger

Who Are You

Both series did an episode where the main heroes archenemy Callisto and Faith switched bodies with Buffy and Xena allowing Lucy Lawless and Hudson Leick and Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dushku to switch roles.

While Lawless and Gellar have fun hamming it up as the villain the ones who really shine her are Leick and Dushku who prove to be just as good at playing the heroes. However which one is better? Well again hard to say as both are classic episodes (much better than those cheesy god awful musical episodes) but once again I am going to have to go with the Warrior Princess.

I think this episode offers a much deeper insight into the character of Callisto than “Who Are You” does for Faith. I like how Callisto finally has to answer for her crimes. It is true that Callisto was wronged by Xena, but it also true that she now has committed great evil and there was no reason for her to do so. You finally lose your sympathy for Callisto and Callisto in turn loses her righteousness which changes the dynamic of her relationship with Xena.

Winner

Xena 6/ Buffy 3

10/ Best Episode Overall

Passion

Callisto

The two best episodes of either series are among the best two episodes of any television series in my opinion. Both have everything you could possibly want from a tv classic, great script, terrific performances, great action sequences and incredibely powerful, shocking moments.

This time however I am going to have to give it to Buffy. Passion blew me away when I first saw it. I could not believe what I was seeing when Angel snapped Jenny’s neck and what he did afterwards with her corpse was just as horrifying.

Even today it still gets me and Giles and Buffy’s final fight with Angelus is more brutal than Xena and Callisto’s fight. Xena and Callisto’s fight is technically better but I prefer Buffy and Angeluses fight as it is more dirty. Buffy just pins Angelus down and doesn’t stop pummelling him she is so enraged.  Passion is better than any Xena episode in my opinion.

Winner

Buffy 4/ Xena 6

11/ Second Best Episode

Return of Callisto

Hush

Yeah okay I obviously love the Callisto episodes. Most people would say that Hush is the best episode of Buffy but personally I prefer Passion, but Hush is still a classic episode for me nonetheless. This time I am going to go with Buffy. Return of Callisto is a tv classic, the ending alone is enough to make stand out as something special. Watching Xena coldly let Callisto sink into the quicksand is one of these moments that really affected me as a young boy. However Hush is just too special. The Gentlemen are the most terrifying monsters and whilst the idea of doing a silent episode might seem gimmicky like a musical; it works so much better and actually allows for some scenes of genuine horror.

Winner

Xena 6/ Buffy 5

Worst Episode

Married With Fishsticks

Beer Bad

I know these are popular choices for the worst  episodes ever made, but there’s a reason for that. They are both worst of all boring as sin. However Xena definitely edges this one. Incredibely enough though “Married with Fishsticks” has a higher rating on IMDB than either of the first two Callisto episodes. Each to their own of course but what the hell! Anyway Xena’s is definitely worse so Buffy wins this as we will be deciding who is the winner by looking at whose episode is the less shit, so Buffy wins this one.

Winner

Xena 6/ Buffy 6

13/ Best Theme

 

 

 

I am giving this to Buffy. I like the Xena theme it has a real raw, emotional, tribal quality to it which suits the character brilliantly. Buffy’s theme however is much more iconic and it has a real head banging quality to it that I love.

Final Score

Xena 6/ Buffy 7

Buffy is the better series in this bloggers opinion. I do prefer the character of Xena to Buffy, but overall as a series Buffy trumps Xena for me. That’s just my opinion however. Tell me what do you think?

Cult Actors 2 Simon Templeman

Simon Templeman is a British character actor who has enjoyed a very long career across many different mediums, stage, film, and television. Overall his greatest success by and large has been in the sci fi and fantasy genres.

Whether that’s as Larry Bird in the sci fi comedy “The Neighbours”, or as the Vampire Kain in the acclaimed “Legacy of Kain” video game series, or as the Angel of Death in “Charmed”, or even as Doctor Doom in the old 90’s “Fantastic Four” animated series. Templeman is most recognised for his genre roles.

Like many other character actors, Templeman’s largest and most prominent roles tend to be villainous. His rich, distinctive voice and tall imposing frame make him a natural choice for villains. Still despite his typecasting problem Templeman has managed to maintain a very steady career with arguably his greatest success being in the video game medium. Over the course of the past 20 years Templeman has practically become the go to guy for a video game villain.

Whilst he has never really been out of work throughout his entire career, I must admit I do feel that Templeman is somewhat underrated. I think he should get a chance to play a really big villainous role like a Bond villain.

Still he has already been given the chance to play a number of memorable, offbeat and often frightening genre roles and in this article we will be taking a look at the most prominent examples.

1/ Doctor Doom/ Fantastic Four/ The Incredible Hulk

One of Templeman’s most celebrated roles. Templeman played the Fantastic Fours archnemesis in just 3 episodes of the second season of the Fantastic Four animated series and two episodes of the Incredible Hulk animated series set within the same canon.

Neither series were a huge success when they first aired and in hindsight neither series is that fondly remembered. In all fairness to the Fantastic Four its second series overall was actually quite good, but it was just that its first series was so awful it never really recovered from it. However despite this Simon Templeman’s performance as Doctor Doom is still very fondly remembered by fans and critics alike to this day.

Templeman’s Doom is often looked on as the saving grace of the 90’s Fantastic Four cartoon by most people. The uploader and maker of this video below, a compilation of Templeman’s Dooms best moments has even said that he hates the 90’s Fantastic Four cartoon, but still feels this has been the best version of the character seen outside of the comic books to date.

Personally I wouldn’t say that Templeman is the only good thing about the second season the Fantastic Four. I think overall it was a good show, and had it been allowed to continue it could have actually become the definitive version of the Fantastic Four overall.

I do agree however that Templeman’s Doom was the best thing in the show by far and really at the end of the day he is the only reason that the show is still remembered at all.

Overall I would rank Templeman’s Doom among the top 5 90’s animated comic book villains, with the other 4 being Mark Hamill’s Joker, Clancy Brown’s Luthor, David Warner’s Ra’s Al Ghul and Michael Ironside’s Darkseid.

Templeman perfectly captured Doom’s arrogance, snobbishness and best of all his delightfully wicked, cruel sense of humour. Templeman’s grandiose delivery of flowery OTT lines like “Goodbye Fantastic Four time to join the choir invisible“, “I will now suck all the air out of the room and like the Martyr’s of Masada you may watch each other die” or best of all when he refers to Daredevil as a “primrose poppinjay” were all fabulous.

In his first appearance “And a Blind Man Shall Lead Them” Doom captures the Fantastic Four and places them on an island that is about to explode. The foursome survive thanks to Susan Storm creating a forcefield around the team, but unfortunately the blast still strips them of their powers. Ben Grimm is at first delighted to be an ordinary Joe again, but Doom soon tracks the former Fantastic Four down and tries to finish them off whilst they are weak.

Though Daredevil intervenes and tries to help, Doom manages to capture all of the four and prepares to kill the heroes. With no other hope Ben turns himself into the Thing again and in revenge for ruining his chance at a normal life, the Thing crushes Doom’s hands and nearly kills him.

This could be the best episode of the series. Its full of great moments and lines, but the definite highlight is when the Thing crushes Dooms hands. I remember this moment very vividly when I was younger. When you’re a child you believe anything can happen, and I did genuinely believe that The Thing was going to kill Doom. Obviously watching it back as an adult you know they would never do anything like that, but still even as an adult its quite shocking to watch Ben crush Dooms hands and break every one of his fingers.

I often find it is more effective to have the hero do something horrible to the villain. When the villain does something horrible to the hero you expect it, but when the hero snaps and completely loses it at the villain those are the moments you really don’t expect.

You remember the ninth Doctor trying to shoot the helpless Dalek more than you remember the Daleks million times trying to shoot the Doctor. You remember Robin shooting the Joker in “Batman Beyond Return of the Joker” more than the Jokers dozens of times trying to shoot Batman, and you remember the Thing screaming at Doom that he is going pay whilst slowly crushing his hands.

This scene does what the entire first season didn’t and it treats the characters of Doom and The Thing with the respect they are due. In season 1 both characters were treated as jokes. Doom in particular was a laughable character with a poor design and flat characterisation. Though he was voiced by John Vernon a very talented actor, overall the character was hard to take seriously as the FF’s greatest enemy. In this scene however we see how Doom not only comes closest to killing them, but also how he is the only villain who is able to push the team to the point where one of them was almost willing to commit an act of cold blooded murder.

It also shows us at the same time how The Thing is not a character to be taken lightly as when enraged he is virtually unstoppable, as all of Doom’s tricks and gadgets fail to even slow him down. Templeman plays this scene perfectly showing us how arrogant Doom is at first that he is almost annoyed someone like the Thing, who he considers totally beneath him would even attempt to challenge him.

Later however when Doom’s most powerful attacks fail to even slow The Thing down, Templeman is equally superb at injecting a real sense of fear into Doom.

Templeman wisely however doesn’t overdo Doom’s fear as Doom is someone who would be too vain to ever, even in this situation show how scared he was. Doom doesn’t grovel and beg. He barely even screams, but you can still hear him a real panic in his voice when the Thing lunges at him in fury.

This episode also shows how the writers of the second series unlike the writers of the first series actually tried to develop the characters, as after this episode Doom becomes obsessed with The Thing more than any other member of the Fantastic Four. Prior to the Thing crushing his hands, it was Reed Richards who was his main enemy. The others were just an irrelevance and though he still looks on Richards as his main rival, the one who he actually wishes to hurt the most from this point on is The Thing, as he was the only one of the four who brought Doom to his knees.

In his next appearance for instance we see Doom take great pleasure in watching the Hulk pummel the Thing.

In his final appearance, after Doom has stolen the Silver Surfers cosmic powers, Ben is the first member of the four he goes after. Doom even mentions Grimm crushing his hands “feel the limitless power in these very hands which you once nearly crushed“. He also tortures Ben horribly by locking him inside his body “feel it Ben feel your bodies metabolism get slower and slower until you become nothing more than a living statue unable to move, unable to speak for the rest of your days, please do keep an eye out for pigeons.

Its hard to say whether or not “And A Bind Man Shall Lead Them” is the best episode or Doom’s final appearance “Doomsday” is. At the very least  Templeman made a very strong debut with this episode.

In his next appearance “Nightmare in Green” Doom is able to trick the Hulk into attacking the Fantastic Four by convincing them that they have stolen his only friend, Rick. The Hulk nearly kills the Fantastic Four, until Rick is able to convince Hulk who Doom really is. (In hindsight even the Hulk should have known not to trust a guy called Doctor Doom!)

This episode definitely isn’t as strong, but its still enjoyable none the less. As in the comics the Thing doesn’t stand a chance against the Hulk, and as I mentioned before its quite nice that they have Doom be so petty in taking pleasure in watching the Thing be reduced to being so helpless.

Templeman also gets to deliver possibly his best line in the entire series when he witnesses the apparent violent death of the Thing at the Hulk’s hands and states “such a tragic tableau worthy of Shakespeare, Rabeleis or DOCTOR DOOM!“. Then there is also his memorable casual dismissal of Alicia, Ben’s girlfriends grief over his apparent death “You’ve done well friend destroying the loathsome thing as I knew you would” ” but Hulk make girl cry”, “she’ll get over it“. Overall a great episode that did a nice job of setting up the Hulk/Doom rivalry that would carry on into the later Hulk series.

“Doomsday” is the good Doctors final appearance in the series and fortunately it just might be his best. In this episode Doom steals the Silver Surfers cosmic powers and uses them to try and overthrow the earth. Now the first series had actually adapted this storyline from the comics already, however the producers of the second season decided just to do it again, as they felt such a classic story deserved to be done properly. A reference is still made to Doom stealing the Surfers powers before, showing that they were still trying to keep continuity with the older series at least.

Unlike the previous season 1 episode, which merely had Doom use his cosmic powers to knock a few planes out of the sky, here Doom uses them to first torture Ben, humble the Fantastic Four and completely and utterly thrash all of earth’s greatest heroes; including the Avengers and the X-Men whose jet he turns to stone.

He also brings evil gargoyles to life, raises the oceans floors, creates snow storms, blocks out the sun and carves himself into the statue of liberty before telling all of the worlds leaders that they have one week to surrender to him, or he will kill them all.

What’s really great about this episode however is the way it handles Dooms character. The vast majority of depictions of Doom portray him as simply being a psychopath who wants to conquer the world for no other reason other than because he is a psychopath. In the comics however Doom is someone who wishes to rule the world because he believes that he can make it a better place. Ironically Doom wants to help people. In the few what if scenarios where we see Doom does manage to rule the world, he is actually able to make it a better place in some ways.

With his vast intellect he is able to cure diseases modern science can not, he is able eliminate prejudices and inequalities and allow people to live longer, happier lives.

However at the same time he removes people’s basic freedom as he takes absolute control of every aspect of their lives and makes them his slaves. Whilst Doom is a tyrant no matter what, the Fantastic Four’s battle’s against him aren’t just a simple case of good versus evil.

Doom is someone who could actually be a great force of good in the world where it not for his extreme vanity. To date the Simon Templeman interpretation is the only version of the character I have seen that has captured this element of his persona.

When Doom says after acquiring the Surfers powers “ I now posses the power to end hunger, to eliminate crime, to abolish disease to create a perfectly content, perfectly ordered world all under the benevolence of my IRON WILL!” this sums up his character perfectly and Templeman delivers this line with such passion that you almost can’t help but be won over by Doom. Unfortunately this was not only Doom’s last appearance in the series, but also the last episode of the series .

Templeman would go on to reprise his role in just two episodes of the Incredible Hulk animated series. Neither one of these episodes were as strong as his Fantastic Four episodes, but the first one was still lots of fun. It sees Doom capture the Hulk’s cousin Jennifer Walters and use her to force the Hulk to try and assassinate the president of the United States for him.

Unfortunately for Doom, Jennifer is wounded in his attempt to capture her and Banner gives her a blood transfusion which causes Jennifer to change into the She Hulk. Together both She Hulk and the Hulk thrash Doom and foil his plans. Templeman is on top form as ever and gets to deliver some great lines such as telling the Hulk he has a “very left brain personality” or calling the American president ” a posturing corn fed commoner“. However this episode is probably most memorable for She Hulk’s rather sexualized transformation scene

Doom’s next appearance in the second season was sadly his weakest yet. Templeman is just as good as ever, but Doom is reduced to just a boring, one note character and worse his design is terrible too.

For some reason they make his mouth move in sync with his voice. For Templeman’s Doom to end on this note was rather sad, but still overall I think he gave us the best version of the character.

Templeman had been a big comic book fan growing up and said that his favourite superhero had been the Hulk, who he as a scruffy teenager could identify with. Hopefully Templeman will get a chance to play Doctor Doom again. I’d be happy to see him play the role in anything, another animated series, video game etc. More people need to see Templeman in action as Marvels most iconic villain.

John Bates/ Star Trek The Next Generation

There’s not really much to say about this performance it was a relatively minor one, though Templeman did make the most of it. This only really deserves a mention as it does mark an appearance in one the most iconic science fiction series, but other than that sadly Templeman was wasted in this role.

Trevor Noseworthy 4/ James Bond JR

A more comical character Trevor is a snobbish, pompous, uptight spoiled brat who was jealous of the main character James Bond JR and constantly sought to humiliate him only for his numerous petty little schemes to backfire rather badly. Though not Templeman’s most memorable character, I think it nevertheless demonstrated his comedic side more than many of the other sinister characters he was to play throughout his long career.

Matthias Pavayne/ Angel

One of Templeman’s most frightening characters, Pavayne appeared in the Angel episode “Hellbound”. In his single episode Pavayne attempted to drag the Vampire Spike’s soul to hell. Pavayne in life had been an evil witch doctor who enjoyed torturing and killing innocent people. After his murder, Pavayne’s ghost haunted Wolfram and Hart where he would send the ghosts of other people, (after having had his “fun” with them) to hell to prevent himself from going. Pavayne spends most of the episode hiding in the shadows taunting Spike.

However when Pavayne finally does appear he lives up to the build up. Templeman plays him in an almost detached, indifferent way when he is torturing Spike which just makes him all the more sinister. He has gotten so used to torturing people that he is almost bored of it, but still tortures Spike anyway because he doesn’t know how to do anything else.

Definitely one of the most chilling moments is when Pavayne talks of having his fun with Winifred Burkle which provokes Spike to attack him more than his torture of Spike himself did.

Despite being one of the Buffy franchise’s most ghastly villains, one can still not help but be horrified at Pavayne’s fate. Pavayne is turned back into a human being when Spike pushes him into a machine that Fred had constructed in order to turn Spike back into a human. Pavayne not wanting Spike to escape threatens Fred’s life making Spike choose between the “girl and the flesh“. Pavayne believes that Spike will abandon Fred to save his own skin, which proves to be his undoing. I like the fact that Pavayne can’t comprehend the idea of someone caring about anything but themselves.

Spike catches Pavayne by surprise and knocks him into the machine instead rendering him a human and thus vulnerable. Angel subsequently in order to prevent Pavayne from becoming a ghost again locks him in a special container that will keep Pavayne alive, but render him unable to move, speak or interact with the world around him, yet remain completely aware.

Ironically this is exactly the same fate Templeman’s Doctor Doom tried to condemn Ben Grimm too.  You definitely do not have any sympathy for Pavayne who finally goes to the “hell” he so richly deserves, and that he sent so many others too for centuries. Still you can’t help but be disturbed at what happens to him.

Overall this was a great episode. A frightening and disturbing story that really built up a great atmosphere, but what elevates it to one of the greats is Templeman’s truly bone chilling performance. He brings Pavayne to life superbly and remains one of the shows most memorable guest stars.

Do keep an eye out for pigeons.

The Angel of Death/ Charmed

Ironically this is one of Templeman’s most sympathetic characters.

The Angel of Death is portrayed in Charmed much like Death is in Supernatural. He is neither good nor evil. He merely maintains the natural order. He is not a conflicted character, and has no reservations about anyone’s time being up no matter how unfair it may seem to us, yet at the same time he does not seem a cruel, unfair or unjust character either. He feels more like something that is so above human beings, demons and white lighters that nothing we do matters to him.

In spite of his ruthless, no nonsense attitude, the Angel grows to develop something of a bond with the Charmed ones, simply because they are the only beings he has ever encountered more than once. Simone Templeman appeared in just 3 episodes, though the Angel of Death also appeared in a 4th, where he assumed another appearance as Simon Templeman wasn’t available. Despite this however he remains one of the shows most memorable and popular supporting characters and prior to the Neighbours was probably the live action role that Templeman was most recognised for.

My favourite scene with the Angel is when he calmly tells Prue Halliwell “don’t worry, its not your time. Not yet” which was an eerie foreshadowing of her death later that season.

Lord Nor/ Lois and Clark

Lord Nor who appeared in just two episodes of Lois and Clark was actually the shows version of iconic Superman villain General Zod.

Like Zod he is a Kryptonian who survived the planets destruction and ultimately seeks to lead his people to conquer other races. Its not the most well developed character and to be honest I much prefer his Doctor Doom. Still overall this was an enjoyable episode and a great performance from Templeman as another iconic comic book villain.

Kain/ Legacy of Kain Series

Templeman’s most famous voice work, the Kain series was arguably Templeman’s breakthrough role as a voice actor. Kain is an ancient Vampire and the main character in the series which has to date produced 5 games, though in one game “Legacy of Kain Soul Reaver” he served as the main villain. Kain is much more than just a villain or a hero however. He is a very morally grey character, though to be fair everyone in the series is.

The character of Kain was met with universal praise from fans and critics alike and “The Legacy of Kain” video game series overall was a massive commercial success too. Though there have been no new entries released since 2003, the games still remain very popular. Templeman has repeatedly said that he would be perfectly happy to reprise his most iconic role, however he also sadly revealed that there are currently no plans for him to do so.

Loghain Mac Tir/ Dragon Age

One of Templeman’s most high profile voice over roles, Loghain is not surprisingly yet another villain, but he is portrayed as a much more sympathetic and tragic character than a lot of Templeman’s other villainous roles.

Indeed there are some fans who argue that he is not technically a villain either. I personally however would disagree, and if anything argue that he is Templeman’s most destructive villain being responsible for the deaths of more people than Doctor Doom and Pavayne combined.

Still Templeman is able to inject a real gravitas into the character in certain moments such as in his relationship with his daughter, the way he faces his death with dignity (if the player chooses to kill him), and his heroic sacrifice (if they choose to spare him.) Loghain a more than just a villain. He is a character does some utterly despicable things, yet sometimes is actually able to justify his actions to the players amazement.

Jacob Danik/ Dead Space 3

Yet another villainous video game role, Jacob is a fanatic who believes he is creating a better world and helping humanity ascend to its next level, somewhat like Doctor Doom. Templeman’s performance is definitely one of the highlights of the game overall. One of the cool things about this character is that he is modelled on Templeman physically. Like a lot of Templeman’s villains, Jacob is a very grandiose character who is somewhat fond of making big speeches.

Larry Bird/ The Neighbours

Templeman’s most high profile role to date as Larry Bird, father of a group of aliens stranded on earth and a leading character in the science fiction comedy series the Neighbours, is also unlike any other character he has played. Larry is arguably Templeman’s greatest performance as it has allowed him an opportunity to do things he never could do before such as showing off his more comedic side and even his wonderful singing voice. Seriously!

The concept for the Neighbours wasn’t particularly original. The idea of aliens coming to live ordinary lives among us has been done many times before such as in Coneheads and Third Rock From the Sun, but it didn’t matter as the show more than made up for it with its wonderful characters and crazy offbeat humour.

I think part of the reason Larry stands out as possibly Templeman’s best performance was because of the way he really threw himself into the role more than any other. It was his favourite character for many reasons. First of all it finally gave him a chance to do comedy which had been one of the few things he hadn’t done in his long career.

Also Templeman felt he could relate to Larry’s situation as much like Larry, when Templeman an Englishman first moved to America, he too was a stranger in a strange land. Templeman’s enthusiasm for the character of Larry Bird truly shines through in his performance and helps to make the character even more likable.

Sadly the Neighbours was cancelled after just two seasons, however at the very least the show has secured a devoted cult following and with Larry, Templeman managed to create a truly memorable comedic character.

Other genre roles

Templeman has played minor roles in many other sci fi and fantasy franchises including in Final Fantasy 12 as Judge Zargabaath, God of War 3 as Peirithous, Kai Lan the serpent in Jade Empire, as well as characters in video games based upon the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises and Gabriel Roman a major villain in the Uncharted video game franchise.

I do feel Templeman is somewhat underrated, but at the very least his many sci fi and fantasy roles such as Kain and Loghain have given him a very strong and dedicated fanbase.

20 Famous Doctor Who fans and 5 Famous people who Hate it.

Famous 'Doctor Who' Fans: Top 5 Celebrity Whovians | Anglophenia | BBC  America

Doctor Who is the worlds most successful science fiction series and not surprisingly many notable writers, actors, comedians and singers are not only huge fans of the series, but have also cited it as a massive influence on their careers. In this article I have compiled 20 famous people who are huge Who fans. I have also however gathered a smaller list of 5 famous people who hate the show. Everything has its detractors and Doctor Who is no different.

In no particular order.

20/ Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse Best Quotes – Words to Live By: Amy Winehouse

I was pleased to read that the late “Love is a losing game” singer was a huge Who fan. Apparently she first fell in love with the show as a child in the 1980’s and was also a huge fan of the 2005 revival which isn’t really surprising considering she was close friends with Billie Piper when the two were at school. Amy Winehouse also appeared on a Doctor Who themed episode of the Friday Night Project. Her god daughter singer Dionne Bromfield is also a huge fan as well.

19/ Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey surprised he's so good at 'Strictly' dances

Bill Bailey has cited classic Who as being the series that got him interested in science fiction and television in general. His act in the past has been full of numerous Doctor Who related gags. He even once performed a version of the Doctor Who theme. Bill Bailey would later guest star in the 2011 Christmas special opposite Matt Smith.

18/ Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan Confirmed to Be Alive After MSNBC Reports Death On-Air

Apparently Bob Dylan was a huge fan of Classic Who so much so that he gave permission for his music to be used free of charge in the 25th anniversary story “Silver Nemesis”, but for reasons I am not entirely sure of. The producers of the show didn’t take him up on his offer.

17/ Brian May

Yet another musical example. Queen’s guitarist has been a huge fan of the show since it first began in 1963. May is a huge fan of science fiction overall.

16/ Trey Parker

South Park’s Co-creator is a big fan of the show and has put in a number of references to Doctor Who throughout South Park. In the episode “Red Hot Catholic Love” there is a gigantic Spider that is a reference to the last Jon Pertwee story “Planet of the Spiders”. In the episode “Funnybot” the title character is based very heavily on a Dalek and even croaks “Exterminate” at one point. The fact that the creature is also meant to have been made by the Germans as well is a tongue in cheek reference to the fact that Terry Nation the creator of the Daleks, based them on the Nazi’s. Finally in the episode “Go God Go part 2” Cartman is aided by a robot cat called K-10 an obvious reference to K-9 the Doctors robot dog.

15/ Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp $16M Fantastic Beasts Pay, Destructive Set Habits Revealed |  IndieWire

Johnny Depp is a big Who fan and at one point even expressed an interest in playing the role of the Doctor. Depp would have played the Doctor as more of an old fashioned somewhat foppish character who on the surface would have seemed more scared, similar to his character from Tim Burtons “Sleepy Hollow”. Depp has expressed a particular love or the gothic, Philip Hinchcliff era stories citing “The Talons of Weing Chiang” as his favourite story.

14/ The Beatles

How the Beatles Got Together and Became the Best-Selling Band of All Time -  Biography

The Fab Four were huge fans of the show back in the 60’s. In fact they were even going to appear in the Dalek story “The Chase”, but their manager Brian Epstein vetoed this. Its just as well when you hear what the plan was to have the Doctor and his friends watch the Beatles as old men. Considering the tragic fates that were to befall both John Lennon and George Harrison, with Lennon dying at the age of 40 and Harrison at the age of 57, this would have made the episode horribly dated. An old clip of them performing still appears in the episode, which ironically is the only footage of that performance that survives. John Lennon would also go on to pose with a Dalek.

13/ Joseph Michael Strascynzki 

The creator of Babylon 5 is a huge Who fan and has regularly cited Terry Nation the creator of the Daleks as one of his all time biggest influences and heroes. Apparently Nation served as Stracyznki’s idol when writing most of Babylon 5 himself, as Nation has been the only person who had written an entire season of a science fiction series by himself. Blake’s 7 season 1.

12/ Robert Downey JR

Robert Downey Jr.

The “Iron Man” star recently came out as a Whovian and expressed an interest in appearing in the show at some point. A Marvel Cinematic Universe/Doctor Who crossover does seem too good to be true, but it would still be nice to have him in the show at some point.

11/ Florence Welch

Florence Welch reveals 'chaotic' year and 'nervous breakdown' behind new  album | NME

Florence is a big Who fan and fortunately Whovians seem to love her too. Matt Smith the 11th Doctor also said that he wished she could be in the series at some point. Sadly that never happened during his tenure, but it could still happen at some point as she would be more than keen.

10/ Matt Groening

The creator of The Simpsons is a big Who nerd and not surprisingly there have been a number of references to the show throughout the series with the 4th Doctor (Matt’s favourite Doctor apparently) Daleks, and the TARDIS all having appeared at various points throughout the series. One episode even saw the 4th Doctor appear as one of televisions esteemed representatives.

9/ Johnny Rotten

image

The Sex Pistols frontman John Lydon has said that Doctor Who during the William Hartnell era was his favourite show. He mentioned being terrified of the Daleks in particular.

So, when I was young, Doctor Who was wonderful. The Daleks were the thing. They were so evil, cold, dead, and emotionally devoid that it was a fairly good representation, really, of institutions.

8/ Patrick Stewart

Star Trek star Patrick Stewart has been a fan of Who for many years (and also apparently Beavis and Butthead.) However despite this Lalla Ward who played Romana claims that after leaving Doctor Who, Patrick Stewart gave her grief for appearing in a low brow science fiction series. Ironic really as not only would he go on to become a fan of this very series, but Stewart would also go on to find his greatest success appearing in another iconic science fiction franchise as well.

7/ Richard Dawkins

Dawkins has been a Whovian since the start of its run and has actually appeared in Doctor Who in the episode “The Stolen Earth” claiming that the planets in the sky haven’t been moved to us, but that we have instead been moved to them. On top of that he is also married to former Doctor Who companion Lalla Ward.

6/ Alex Salmond

The former leader of the SNP claimed in an interview that Doctor Who was his favourite show and he liked the fact that there were more references to Scotland in Doctor Who after David Tennant had left. In 2013 the papers attempted to claim that an independent Scotland would not have been able to watch Doctor Who as it would now be in a different country, but Salmond responded by saying that its already seen in over 90 countries.

5/ Peter Jackson

Peter Jackson has been a who fan for pretty much his entire life. He apparently directed “the Frighteners” whilst dressed as the Fourth Doctor. He also appeared in Peter Davisons spoof “The Fiv(ish) Doctors Reboot”. Jackson has expressed interest in directing an episode of Doctor Who with a Dalek as payment. Sadly nothing has come of this so far. Surely its worth sacrificing one Dalek prop to have Peter Jackson direct an episode? Jackson’s favourite Doctor is Sylvester McCoy who he cast as Radagast the Brown in “The Hobbit” trilogy.

4/ Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson To Leave 'The Late Late Show' | New Hampshire Public Radio

Craig Ferguson has done a lot to promote Doctor Who in recent years and has played a key role in its growing popularity stateside. On top of that he was also once in a band with current Doctor Peter Capaldi.

3/ Grant Morrison

Grant Morrison has often spoken of his love for Doctor Who and actually began his career writing stories for Doctor Who magazine. He has also included a number of references to the show in his work.

2/ Steven Spielberg

Steven Spielberg - Movies, Age & Wife - Biography

Steven Spielberg has been a who fan since at least the 80’s. He has gone on record as saying that “the world would be a poorer place without Doctor Who”. However he has claimed that he feels there “is a lot missing to the new series that made the old one so great”.

1/ Harlan Elison

Harlan Ellison, one of science fiction's most controversial authors, has  died - The Verge

Elison has said that he considers Classic Doctor Who to be the greatest science fiction series ever made. Though he has sadly never written for it, he nevertheless did a lot to promote it in America in the 1970’s, including providing a foreword for early novelisations released in America. Few people (apart from Craig Ferguson of course) have done as much for Who stateside as this man.

 5 People Who Hate Doctor Who

5/ Paul Merton

British comedian Paul Merton has been very vocal about his dislike of Doctor Who for many years. Not only has he made many jokes about it on “Have I Got News For You”, but he also put it into Room 101 when he was the host of that show. Even worse than that, he put it in at the request of Michael Grade who axed the show in 1986!

4/ Sir Christopher Lee

Christopher Lee Dead: Horror Icon and Legendary Movie Villain Was 93 |  Hollywood Reporter

I was surprised that Lee hates Who so much as he does seem to generally love science fiction and fantasy, but sadly Doctor Who seems to be the only one he dislikes.

His hatred of the show extends right back to the 1960’s. Despite this however he was friends with two prominent Who actors Patrick Troughton who played the second Doctor and Peter Cushing who played the film version of the character “Doctor Who”. Both men worked alongside him many times. Apparently however he did tell Cushing that it was a mistake to appear in both of the Dalek films and advised him at the time against it.

3/ Joss Whedon

Now this one really surprised me as there were a number of references to Doctor Who in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” Whedon’s most famous work. However it can be assumed that these references were there as a result of other writers. I do know that David Greenwalt and Jane Espenson two prominent Buffy writers are big Who fans. At any rate Whedon recently revealed his dislike for the show in a new biography.

He claims that despite being both a geek and an anglophile he never watched any British science fiction series such as Red Dwarf, Blake’s 7 and Doctor Who.

He says that he did watch one episode of Doctor Who, but hated what he saw. “I watched one episode of Doctor Who and I thought did they film that in my basement? It looked so cheesy”. I think its a shame that Joss couldn’t see past Who’s shoddy production values particularly as Joss has regularly spoken of his love for old 50’s B movies, many of which he even cited as an influence on Buffy. A lot of these old classic B movies like “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” had far worse effects than the majority of Classic Who stories and were certainly a hell of a lot cheesier.

Also Buffy itself was guilty of some cheap looking monsters and unbelievable cheesiness too.

Now I love Buffy don’t get me wrong, but come on here when it was cheesy, it was the cheesiest thing on television! What do you think is cheesier, the most acclaimed episode of Buffy “Once More with Feeling” or the most acclaimed episode of Classic Who “Genesis of the Daleks”?.

The sad thing about Joss hating Doctor Who is that Buffy was a huge influence on the revival of Doctor Who in 2005.

2/ Alan Moore

Alan Moore Rare Interview: “Superhero Movies Have Blighted Culture” –  Deadline

Alan Moore has gone on record as a Doctor Who hater. Apparently he did watch it back in the 1960’s but basically thinks it has been rubbish since William Hartnell left. He also once said that writing for Doctor Who magazine was only slightly better than cleaning toilets.

1/ Nigel Kneale

Nigel Kneale the creator of Quatermass and The Stone Tape hated Doctor Who with a vengeance. Again much like Joss Whedon the sad thing about this is that his work was hugely influential on Doctor Who. Quatermass helped inspire the creation of the show itself and many Quatermass serials served as the direct inspiration for many of Doctor Who’s most acclaimed stories, including “The Web of Fear”, “Spearhead from Space”, “Inferno” and “The Daemons”.

The Third Doctors entire era was modelled practically on Quatermass. Quatermass also served as an inspiration on the new Who to an extent with the episode “Hide” in particular being heavily inspired by it.  Even Torchwood its spin off owes a big debt to Quatermass.

So many people involved in Doctor Who from Sydney Newman, to Robert Holmes, to Barry Letts, to Terrence Dicks ,to Christopher Eccelston, to Russell T Davies, to Mark Gatiss have nothing but the best things to say about Kneale’s work.

Sadly Kneale hated Who in every possible way. To start with he hated the basic premise of the show believing it to be the worst idea for a television programme he had ever heard. He said he felt the problem with Doctor Who was that it had been a producers idea. as it had been invented by Sydney Newman unlike Quatermass which was a writers idea.

He also said it was a poisonous influence on children and was horrified at some of the things they let be put out at tea time in the show.

Finally Kneale also claimed that the show ripped off his ideas and even said that one time he felt sick watching an entire script of his popping up in Doctor Who.

If it makes Who fans feel any better Kneale despite being one of the genre’s best ever writers ironically didn’t like sci fi on tv that much. He also hated The X-Files, Star Trek (once claiming that he could come up with ideas better in his sleep than Star Trek) Doomwatch and Blake’s 7 which he considered to be the low point of sci fi on British television.

Lost in Space Vs Red Dwarf

Lost in Space and Red Dwarf are two science fiction series that blend sci fi (and in Lost in Space’s case fantasy) with comedy. Though they have stood out as oddballs among both genre’s for this reason. They have nevertheless developed very strong followings that have persisted for decades.

Over the years I have noticed a number of similarities between Lost in Space and Red Dwarf. I always suspected that Lost in Space was an influence on Red Dwarf and was delighted to hear that Red Dwarf’s creators Doug Naylor and Rob Grant were big fans of Lost in Space. Doug Naylor even commented that there was a lot of Doctor Smith in the character of Arnold Rimmer.

The similarities between the two shows are quite big. Both series revolve around a crew who become, well lost in space, or more trapped in deep space in the Dwarfers case. Each series focuses around the main characters attempts to get back to earth. (At least in the early years of Red Dwarf.) The conflict in the two series is also largely driven by a main character who is a cowardly, self serving, lying, cheating piece of scum. Arnold Rimmer and Doctor Smith respectively. At the same time however a robot who is braver, more intelligent and more well liked serves as a comedic foil to Rimmer and Smith too .

This is not to do down Red Dwarf. Every work of fiction is influenced by another and Red Dwarf has certainly carved out its own identity not only from Lost in Space, but its many other influences.

However since there are similarities, and since both series are probably in all fairness the most iconic science fiction comedy series. I have decided to examine them in this week’s sci fi showdowns.

As always remember that all opinions in this article are purely my own.

vs

Overview

Lost in Space was created by Irwin Allen in 1965. Pitched as “Swiss Family Robinson in Space”. It was originally devised as a serious adventure series.

It was set in the then future of the 1990’s and revolved around mankind’s attempts to colonise other planets. Unfortunately the first ship sent to prepare a colony, the Jupiter 2 is blown off course. Its crew, originally just consisting of the Robinson family, and the ships pilot, Major Don West are lost in space seemingly forever.

The first pilot though having impressive effects and an exciting story featuring a giant man eating cyclops, a lost civilisation, a perilous sea, and strange aliens with no mouths. Failed to win over test audiences.

A second pilot would soon be made which added the characters of the Robot and Doctor Zachary Smith played by the late great Jonathan Harris.

In the revised pilot Doctor Smith, a slimy saboteur actively sabotages the Jupiter 2, but ends up becoming trapped on the ship as it takes off.

For the first few episodes Smith would attempt to murder the Robinson family and use their ship to return home. Originally the character was to eventually be killed off, but Smith proved to be far too popular with viewers and not only would he be kept on. Ironically he soon ended up becoming the main character.

The character of Smith would be softened over time, though he always remained a mostly unsympathetic, cowardly, selfish character (and the cause of almost all of the Robinsons problems.) Later episodes tended to portray him as more stupid, lazy, and comedic.

The character of the Robot, having initially begun as nothing more than just a tool for the family to use would also develop a personality in later episodes and would often serve as a more heroic comedic foil to the cowardly, inept Smith. Will Robinson, played by Billy Mumy the youngest child of the family often served as the middle man between them.

Later episodes of Lost in Space also saw the show become more of a surrealist comedy series than a serious sci fi show. Whilst some have criticised this development, the show nevertheless remained popular throughout its run and maintains a devoted following decades on. It has also been cited as an influence on later sci fi comedy series such as Red Dwarf itself.

Red Dwarf meanwhile was created by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor over two decades later in 1988.

It originally revolved primarily around two characters, the blokish, slobbish, yet lovable Dave Lister played by Craig Charles and the prissy, uptight, cowardly, bitter Arnold Rimmer played by Chris Barrie. The two despise one another, but are sadly forced to share a room on the mining ship Red Dwarf as they are the two lowest ranking members of the ship.

Things take a turn for the worse however when Rimmer causes an accident that wipes out the entire crew and leaves Red Dwarf floating in space for 3 million years.

Lister is the only survivor of the accident as he was concealed in a stasis pod at the time (as a punishment for bringing his pet cat Frankenstein aboard.)

Three million years later Lister is released by the ships sentient computer Holly (who has gone computer senile.) Rimmer is revived as a hologram, whilst Lister later discovers that his cat Frankenstein also survived the explosion and was in fact pregnant. Her kittens descendants later evolved into a humanoid race who eventually left Red Dwarf with one male, who Lister christens simply “The Cat”, being left behind.

Earlier episodes of Red Dwarf tended to be more of a straight forward sitcom set in space. Much of the humour was derived from the culture clash between Rimmer and Lister, with The Cat and Holly being more supporting characters.

From season 3 onward however the character of Kryten, a mechanoid stranded in the future (who was introduced in series 2 in a single guest appearance) became a regular the stories began to explore more science fiction concepts. It later became more of an adventure series, with the crew battling various monsters, androids and mutations. They also travel through time, slip into parallel universes, and face various evil versions of themselves.

Red Dwarf has to date produced 10 series. Sadly however there have been many gaps between the series and the show much like Doctor Who has often been messed around by the BBC. Still it remains one of the most popular British series, having developed a huge following all over the world, (particularly in America.)

Red Dwarf is in fact the longest running British science fiction series after Doctor Who.

1/ Best Cowardly Trouble Maker

Doctor Zachary Smith

Arnold Rimmer

Now these two characters are very similar. They are both self serving, lying cheats who are either directly or indirectly responsible for all of their ship mates problems. They are also obsessed with the military and war despite ironically being tremendous physical cowards. They are also unbelievable egotists, often going on about how brave and dashing they are. They are also power hungry and greedy, have no loyalty to any other members of their crew, and are the most willing to kill often in dirty underhand ways like shooting people in the back. Despite or perhaps because of these qualities Rimmer and Doctor Smith are without doubt the two most popular characters in their respective series.

Rimmer and Smith’s relationships with Kryten and the Robot are also similar. The Robot and Kryten are everything that Rimmer and Doctorr Smith are not. They are genuinely brave, kind, competent, intelligent and well liked by the rest of the crew. However because they are both robots, they are of a lower rank and therefore not only are not allowed to say anything back to either Smith or Rimmer, but have to endure their abuse for just being robots.

There are a few moments however where Kryten and the Robot are able to slip a little insult in against Smith or Rimmer. A lot of the banter back and forth between Rimmer and Kryten and Robot and Dr Smith is quite similar. Rimmer even makes jokes about the shape of Kryten’s head.

Dr Smith/ This tin plated fool is no kin of mine

Robot/Correction I know you like a brother who chickens out when all hands are needed, who steals food when all crew members are on short supplies.

Rimmer/ I don’t loathe myself? What could one possibly loathe about me 

Kryten/ Well there’s the fact that you’re vain, cowardly and the awful truth that throughout your entire life no one has ever truly liked you because you are so thoroughly unlikable. 

Dr Smith/ There is only so much a man can be made to endure.

Robot/ MAN?

Rimmer/ I’m a competive man Kryten its what makes me what I am.

Kryten/ We are all perfectly aware of what you are sir. 

The similarities between Rimmer and Doctor Smith where even noted by Doug Naylor himself who said that there is a little bit of Doctor Smith in Rimmer. Which one is better however?

Well this is probably the hardest one I’ve had to do, but I am going to go with Doctor Smith. Rimmer is a much more fleshed out character. Throughout his run Doctor Smith was always a cartoony character where as with Rimmer incredibly the writers where able to make us feel sorry for him and show us how he had become the man he was. Still despite this Doctor Smith is a better character for me as unlike Rimmer he pretty much carried his series.

Face facts without Dr Smith Lost in Space would be forgotten.

A lot of people say they wish the show hadn’t taken a comedic turn in the later series and focused on being serious science fiction like in its first season. If it had done however I think it would have been overlooked as just another sci fi series.

As a serious sci fi show, I don’t think Lost in Space really had anything to make it stand out like Who or Trek. Its premise was fairly straight forward. It wasn’t hopeful like Star Trek’s or offbeat like Doctor Who’s and there certainly wasn’t a really strong, unusual character among the Robinsons like Spock or the Doctor. I think all of the actors in Lost in Space were great, but their characters were poorly developed.

The later seasons of Lost in Space meanwhile stood out because of their unique, quirky and surreal sense of humour. Furthermore the show overall marked the first successful attempt on television to merge sci fi and humour. It would serve as the precursor and inspiration in so many ways to the likes of Red Dwarf and Futurama.

Matt Groening has personally cited Lost in Space as one of his biggest influences on Futurama. Will Robinson and the Robot’s relationship served as an inspiration on Fry and Benders.

Smith therefore is ultimately the better of the two characters as it without him Lost in Space would never have become a sci fi comedy. He is more important to Lost in Space and its legacy than Rimmer is to Red Dwarf.

Also I feel that Smith was really the only interesting character in Lost in Space. The Robot and Will Robinson where good characters but it was only because they had Smith to play off of. If you take Doctor Smith out of Lost in Space then its nothing. If you were to take Rimmer out of Red Dwarf it would not be anywhere near as good, but I think it could go on. In fact it did in series 7 when Rimmer briefly left the series and it was able to produce a number of good episodes in his absence, such as “Epideme”.

Smith is really one of the first examples of a both an anti hero and a break out character in science fiction television and so as much as I love Rimmer. I am going to have to give this one to Doctor Smith.

Winner

Lost in Space 1/Red Dwarf 0

2/Best Robot

The Robot

Kryten

Again this is a very difficult one. Both are such hilarious characters and both have such a unique wonderful design and interaction with the other main characters. Kryten and the Robot’s relationships with Dave Lister and Will Robinson are both very heartwarming whilst their relationships with Dr Smith and Rimmer are comedy gold.

Ultimately however I am going to have to go with Lost in Space yet again. The Robot I feel is a very influential character as he is really on television the first robot character who becomes more human, but in a quite funny, petty way.

Normally in sci fi when a robot or an alien becomes more human it was treated seriously. We would see how they discovered love or honour or became evil.

With the Robot however whilst we did see him develop a genuine friendship with Will Robinson, we also saw him do things like get drunk and have a hangover the next morning. Dress up like a woman, take a huff when someone insults him, boast about how much he understands women because “he has been around”, and get into petty little arguments with Doctor Smith.

These are all characteristics we see later with robots like Kryten and Bender.

Also the Robot I feel again carried the show more than Kryten. Not to the same extent as Doctor Smith, but still I think Smith really needed the Robot as a foil. Rimmer however got on fine for two series without Kryten and there are many who feel that the first two series without Kryten were the best, though I disagree, I feel that Red Dwarf really came into its own from 3 onward.

Finally I feel the Robot is more iconic. “Danger, Danger Will Robinson” is one of the most quoted catchphrases of all time and his design is also I feel more recognisable and unique.

Winner

Lost in Space 2/ Red Dwarf 0

3/Best Spaceship

Jupiter 2

Red Dwarf

This is a no brainer for me. Red Dwarf is easily the better ship. I liked the inside of the Jupiter 2 which was very cosy and safe.

The outside however was just a generic saucer. Unlike the TARDIS and the Enterprise which you would instantly recognise as coming from each show. The Jupiter 2 just looks like a billion other flying saucers.

Red Dwarf’s design is more unique on both the outside and the inside too. In televised and film sci fi. Space ships interiors tend to fall into one of either two types of designs.

Either they are very cosy like the TARDIS in Classic Who, the Jupiter 2 or the original Enterprise. Or they are a bit more dark and gloomy and industrialised like a factory, such as the ships in Star Wars or the Nostromo.

Red Dwarf however manages to blend both together rather well. The inside of Rimmer and Listers quarters for instance is very cosy whilst the long corridors are more dark and gloomy and have more of a Star Wars, Alien vibe to them.

Winner

Lost in Space 2/ Red Dwarf 1

4/Best Monster

Mr Keema

Polymorph

I’m going to give this to Lost in Space. I love both of the Polymorph episodes, but Mr Keem is a somewhat more unique monster in terms of design. The Polymorph is just a kind of generic Xenomorph lookalike. Mr Keema is a far more hilarious and crazy looking monster and his story also plays out like a surreal brothers grimm style fantasy in space.

Winner

Lost in Space 3/ Red Dwarf 1

5/Episode with a good guy version of the cowardly smeg head

His Majesty Smith

Dimension Jump

Now these two episodes follow a similar plot. A double appears (in Doctor Smith’s case it is created by aliens, in Rimmers case he is from an alternate universe) of the two most unlikable members of the crew. Rimmer and Zachary. Both of these doubles are hard working, honourable, brave, sweet, caring, kind and are loved by all the other members of the crew. They also have funny nicknames Daddy Zach and Ace Rimmer.

Naturally of course both the real Doctorr Smith and Arnold Rimmer, along with the audience HATE these perfect in every way versions of themselves, though to be fair their doubles don’t exactly like them very much either for obvious reasons.

Both stories represent what Lost in Space and Red Dwarf do well in that they take a sci fi trope, in this case evil doubles of the main characters and provide a humorous twist on it. How could they have an evil version of their main characters Doctorr Smith and Rimmer who are already pretty nasty guys?

Show us heroic versions of them who drive the originals mad with jealously!

Now which episode is better?

Well Red Dwarf definitely. His Majesty Smith is funny, but Dimension Jump is one of the best ever alternate universe stories and Ace Rimmer who would go on to appear in two more episodes was clearly a lot more memorable than Daddy Zach. I think part of the reason for that was actually because Ace was a more nuanced character. Ace showed us what our Rimmer could have become if he had tried, where as Daddy Zach was just a mock up of the real Dr Smith who happened to be nice.

Winner

Lost in Space 3/ Red Dwarf 2

Episode 6/ Episode where the cowardly smeg head is put on trial

Condemned of Space

Justice

These two episodes again follow a fairly similar plot. In both of them our main characters are put on trial and tried by intergalactic laws. All are found innocent except for Doctor Smith and Arnold Rimmer.

Both are found guilty of sabotaging the space ships (though in Rimmers case it was an accident) and are then sentenced to life imprisonment. The only way the others are able to get Rimmer and Smith off with it is to claim that they were mentally incompetent and unaccountable for their actions.

Of course Doctor Smith and Arnold Rimmer, two huge egotists HATE this being said about them in a court of law.

Whilst Condemned of Space is a funny episode. Justice is ultimately the superior take on this idea. Watching Rimmer get taken down by Kryten in court is an all time comedy classic.

Winner

Lost in Space 3/ Red Dwarf 3

7/ Episode where the cowardly guy creates a race of clones of himself

The Space Destructors

Rimmerworld

Again we see both series do episodes with a similar storyline. Both of these episodes see Doctor Smith and Arnold Rimmer create a race of clones from themselves with whom they hope to achieve glory, however their clones stab them in the back because they are after all clones of a self serving, back stabbing, cowardly, slimy, triple faced, rat hearted weasel. Once again I think Red Dwarf’s take on this idea is the funnier of the two.

Both are very funny episodes and The Space Destructors does contain one of Smith’s best lines “oh dear what a frightful mess I’ve made of everything and all I wanted to do was take over the universe“. However Rimmerworld just has too many funny moments and plays around with the idea of the different Rimmers in a more wild way such as having the women look like Rimmer who snog the men who look like Rimmer, so it takes a small lead.

Winner

Lost in Space 3/ Red Dwarf 4

8/ Best episode where they get back to earth, but there’s a catch

Visit To A Hostile Planet

Backwards

Both of these episodes are stories that only really Red Dwarf and Lost in Space could do as both revolve around the main characters finally getting back to earth after being trapped in deep space for so long. However sadly in both cases it turns out that there is a catch.

In the Jupiter 2’s case they have landed 50 years in the past and everyone thinks that they are aliens called Voltons and try to kill them, whilst in Red Dwarfs they have landed in an alternate earth where time runs backwards.

Despite this however certain members of the crew (Doctorr Smith and Arnold Rimmer) still want to stay, as it is earth after all, and it beats being trapped in deep space. Once again Red Dwarf wins this one. I do like Visit to a Hostile Planet, but Backwards is a more unique take on the alternate universe idea and again it’s somewhat wilder and more surreal than the Lost in Space episode.

However I do think the conflict over whether or not to stay on earth is handled better in the Lost in Space episode as Doctor Smith truly does lose it at the thought of going back into space. Rimmer and Kryten are ultimately convinced a little too easily to go back. You actually almost feel sorry for Smith for once, as he makes it back to earth, his dream for years, but just a few decades too early. Still overall I liked the Red Dwarf episode better.

Winner

Lost in Space 3/ Red Dwarf 5

9/Best episode with evil versions of the main characters

The Antimatter man

Demons and Angels

Lost in Space wins this. I love Demons and Angels and the evil cross dressing sado masochistic Rimmer who seems to have a homosexual attraction to Lister (which considering he is made from Rimmer means these feelings must come from Rimmers mind. That plus the fact that Lister has a homoerotic dream about Rimmer in series 7 makes me wonder at times what the true nature of their relationship is.)

However the Lost in Space episode is a much better story. The Antimatter man to me represents what Lost in Space does well aside from blending humour and sci fi. Blending sci fi and fantasy too.

This can be seen in many episodes including the final episode of season 1 where John Robinson is taken over by the spirit of an alien. The Antimatter man however is the best example as it features a classic sci fi trope of the evil double, but it is presented in more of a fantastical way. The evil double is shown to come from a hell dimension full of Demons and living rocks and is presented as being more of a supernatural creature like a vampire who casts no shadow and is seemingly immortal.

The hell dimension that the evil John Robinson comes from is also visually stunning too. It looks like a surrealist painting come to life. Once again this story demonstrated how Lost in Space stood out from its rivals Star Trek and Doctor Who both of whom also did alternate universe stories.

Star Trek’s was the deepest taking us into how the alternate society works, whilst Doctor Who’s was the most frightening showing us the alternate versions of the main characters and the entire alternate world die. Whilst Lost in Space’s was the most humorous, whimsical and surrealist too.

The Antimatter man to me sums up perfectly what is so special about Lost in Space and is probably a good one to show non fans to initiate them.

Winner

Lost in Space 4/ Red Dwarf 5

10/Best craziest, wildest, most outrageous episode!

The Great Vegetable Rebellion

Meltdown

Incredibly these are among the two least popular episodes of both series. The Great Vegetable Rebellion is usually seen as the worst episode of all of Lost in Space. People always go on about how its proof that Lost in Space had to end as it had just become too silly. Thing is it was supposed to be silly! I think people always seem to miss that point of Lost in Space in its later years that it intentionally made the move to comedy.

Obviously if looking at it as a serious episode The Great Vegetable Rebellion is poor, but if looking at it as what it actually is, a funny episode of a comedy series its an all time classic. Its a truly hilarious episode like something out of the British comedy The Mighty Boosh. I often thought that Lost in Space was perhaps more popular in the United Kingdom because its sense of humour was more surrealist which is more in line with British humour like Monty Python and The Mighty Boosh.

Meltdown meanwhile I have no idea why its so hated by the fans, though at least the cast and crew of Red Dwarf have regularly cited it as a favourite.

Anyway as to which is the better or crazier episode, well I am going have to go with Lost in Space. The Red Dwarf episode which features wax droids of the most famous people from history warring with each other Marliyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Ghandi and Winnie the Pooh on one side against Caligula, Hitler and the Boston Strangler is a wonderfully offbeat episode.

However Lost in Space’s episode is just a masterpiece of surrealist humour. It features our main characters getting menaced by a talking carrot, whom Doctor Smith attempts to placate by telling him he loves vegetables and his favourite past time is eating them! The carrot then attempts to turn the crew into vegetables and succeeds in turning Doctor Smith into a stick of lettuce. It later turns out Doctor Smith is happier as a stick of lettuce!

How anyone can hate such a comedy classic I’ll never understand. Watching Elvis sing the Red Dwarf theme is a hoot, but not as much as watching Doctor Smith or anyone for that matter get menaced by a giant carrot.

Winner

Lost in Space 5/ Red Dwarf 5

11/Darkest episode

Follow the leader

Epideme

Though both comedies Red Dwarf and Lost in Space could occasionally venture into horror territory.

I remember being scared of both of series at times when I was young. Arguably the darkest episodes of both series are Follow the Leader and Epideme.

Follow the Leader see’s John Robinson taken over by the spirit of an ancient alien ghost. This is arguably Guy Williams best performance in the series as we see him take on both John Robinson and the evil spirit Kanto superbly. Kanto is a much more terrifying villain than the majority of Lost in Space monsters. He is a bloodthirsty tyrant who gives the episode an extra dark edge.

Epideme meanwhile see’s Dave Lister infected with an intelligent virus called Epideme that begins slowly killing him. Though Epideme is largely a humorous character, there are some genuinely disturbing moments such as when Epideme begins taunting Lister as he slowly and painfully kills him.

This is a very hard one to choose as both episodes are all time classics and fortunately both are fan favourites, however which one is better.

Well Epideme did scare me more growing up. The most frightening moment for me was when we see the victims of the previous ship the Epideme killed. It reminded me of the John Carpenter movie “The Thing” when they see the victims of the monster in the previous base it attacked.

I feel there are also elements of body horror in Epideme  as they have to slice off Listers arm in a failed attempt to stop the virus.

Follow the Leader is a great ghost story, but Epideme is a bit more scary for me so I’ll give this to Red Dwarf.

Winner

Lost in Space 5/ Red Dwarf 6

12/Best catchphrase

Both shows had catchphrases though obviously many series do that’s nothing specific to them, but still the most recognized catchphrase from Lost in Space I’d say would be “Crush Kill Destroy” said by the robot IDAK whilst the most recognised catchphrase from Red Dwarf is of course SMEG. I am going to go with Lost in Space here. Its catchphrase is definitely more recognised overall among the general public, though I will say I don’t think as many people would be aware that it comes from Lost in Space, whilst everyone knows that Smeg comes from Red Dwarf.

Winner

Crush Kill Destroy

Lost in Space 6/ Red Dwarf 6

13/Best theme

Another hard one as both have great themes that suit both shows, but I think Red Dwarf is better. There’s something a bit more haunting about the Red Dwarf theme. It seems to suit the characters aimless, lonely journey through the nothingness of space more.

Final Score

Lost in Space 6/ Red Dwarf 7

Red Dwarf is better in this bloggers opinion. I do like certain elements of Lost in Space more. Doctor Smith and the Robot I evidently feel are stronger characters, however I prefer the episodes of Red Dwarf more and overall feel its a better show. Of course I still love both shows immensely and both are classics, but remember that’s just my opinion tell me what’s yours?

Cult Actors 1 Michael Wisher

This article is the first in a new series where I will be looking at actors who are best known for starring in genre series and films.

In order to qualify for this series, an actors most famous roles have to largely have been in cult things. For instance Richard Attenborough though appearing in one of the most iconic genre and cult films, Jurassic Park, wouldn’t really qualify as a cult actor as his career consisted of mostly mainstream film and television series.

Tom Baker on the other hand would be not just because he played the Doctor, but also because many of his other most famous roles were in horror movies, or classic British comedies like Blackadder, The Golden Voyage of Sinbad etc.

This series will try and look at a wide range of actors from various different backgrounds. From big Hollywood stars, to voice actors, to stars of classic, cheap British Sci Fi series.

The first cult actor I will be looking at is Michael Wisher. Wisher is known primarily for his roles in one genre series “Doctor Who”. His roles in this series were mostly small, but he nevertheless managed to endear himself to genre fans forever with his performance as the deranged and evil creator of the Daleks, Davros.

He only played Davros once, but to this day his performance is still usually regarded as the definitive take on the character

Wisher to me seems like the perfect choice to start, as he never really became that big a name even to genre fans. Still he nevertheless managed to give some of the most iconic performances on the history of television.

Michael Wisher was born on the 19th May in 1935. He had many roles on television including in “Dixon of Dock Green”, “Z Cars” and the genre series “Moonbase 3”. He also had an extensive theatre career too and was a very in demand actor until his death in 1995. However it would for his work in “Doctor Who” that he would be most remembered.

Genre/Doctor Who Roles

 

1/ Reporter/The Ambassadors of Death

 

Wishers first on screen credited role. Prior to this adventure he had provided a small voice over for the second Doctor story “The Space Pirates”. There is not really much to say about this performance. Wisher doesn’t get a lot to do he is on screen for all of two minutes and is basically wasted in the role. Still this does mark his official Doctor Who debut none the less.

2/ Rex Farrell/ Terror of the Autons 

Wisher’s first prominent Who role was as the villain Rex Farrell in “Terror of the Autons” Rex was the Master played by Roger Delgado’s sidekick. He didn’t have a lot to do in the story with arguably his biggest role being taking the Masters place when UNIT try and shoot down the Master. Still Wisher made the most of this character and he and Delgado play off of one another quite well.  Farrell is not really a villain as the entire time he is mind controlled by the Master. His death therefore is actually one of the more tragic moments of the story. He joins the sadly long list of people the Doctor failed to save from the Master.

3/ Kalik/ Carnival of Monsters

The character of Kalik served as the main villain in the Robert Holmes classic “Carnival of Monsters”. He was a somewhat more comical villain however, as he is ultimately killed by the very plan he hopes to use the overthrow his brother. Still Wisher brings the character to life in a very memorable way, managing to capture the humorous elements of the character such as his snobbishness and prissiness, as well as his darker qualities such as the opening scene where he casually guns down a dissident worker in cold blood.

4/ Voice of the Daleks/ Frontier in Space/ Planet of the Daleks/ Death to the Daleks/ Genesis of the Daleks

Michael Wisher voiced the Doctors greatest enemies in four stories. “Frontier in Space”,  “The Planet of the Daleks”, “Death to the Daleks” and “Genesis of the Daleks” though he also voiced them in episodes of “blue peter” and the 30th anniversary documentary “More than 30 years in the TARDIS”.  Wisher was the 6th actor to play the monsters and though not quite as menacing as Peter Hawkins, Roy Skelton or later Nicholas Briggs, I still think Michael’s Dalek voices were quite effective in their own way.

His voices lacked the strange rhythmic qualities of Peter Hawkins or the fierce, harsh, rasping tones of Roy Skelton. Instead Wisher’s Dalek voices captured the hysteria of the monsters better than anyone else as evidenced by the famous scene in “Death to the Daleks” where one of the pepperpots kills itself simply because it has failed to guard Sarah Jane the Doctors companions properly “HUMAN FEMALE HAS ESCAPED, SELF DESTRUCT I HAVE FAILED, SELF DESTRUCT I HAVE FAILED, SELF DESTRUCT I HAVE FAILED, SELF DESTRUCT I HAVE FAIIIIIILLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

Nicholas Briggs the current voice of the Daleks, a close personal friend of Michael Wisher has said that the dying Dalek was always one of Wishers favourite moments and he would enjoy acting it out for fans. I think Wisher has had an influence on Brigg’s portrayal of the Daleks to an extent.  Briggs I think is probably the best Dalek voice artist for me as he is able to combine the aspects of all the previous Dalek voice actors together. In a new Who Dalek story you will typically see one Dalek who is the leader who will have more of a Peter Hawkins vibe to his voice, then there will be the lowly grunt who will have more of a David Graham quality, then there will the soldier who is desperate to kill everything that moves and is fanatical even by Dalek standards and he will be the Roy Skelton Dalek. Finally there is the scared, hysterical Dalek who is in a constant state of panic and can’t stand anything going wrong at all, he is the Michael Wisher Dalek.

5/Davros/ Genesis of the Daleks

This was Wishers greatest performance and indeed one of the greatest performances of anyone in Doctor Who. Its up their with the best performance of any actor in the role of the Doctor.

The fact that Wisher had experience providing Dalek voices I think helped him find the right balance in Davros’s voice. At times when he was hysterical such as when is demanding the Doctor tell him the reason for every Dalek defeat, Davros can sound almost like one of his creations, but it was never too much however and indeed some of the most chilling moments of Michaels performance are when Davros speaks in a more calm, quiet voice such as when he talks of experimenting on Gharman’s brain. Davros in “Genesis of the Daleks” is a much more fleshed out character than he is in later stories thanks to both Terry Nations strong script and Wisher’s performance.

Wisher is able to bring so many different sides to the villains character. On the surface Davros is the ultimate Who monster. He is evil incarnate, a man who commits double genocide on the Thals and his own people the Kaleds, who casually murders hundreds of innocent scientists and who is revealed to have delusions of tearing down all of creation itself. The famous phial scene where the Doctor asks Davros if he would use a virus capable of destroying all life, to which Davros responds that that power would set him “up above the gods” and that through his creations the Daleks “I shall HAVE THAT POWER!” is arguably the defining moment of Davros’s character.

Prior to this Davros had attempted to present himself as someone who was just desperate to see his race survive. As his race are destined to mutate into frail creatures, he believes he needs to make any sacrifice to ensure that these creatures can go on and programs them to be aggressive because he believes that is the only way they can survive due to their vulnerability. He also at one point tries to justify the Daleks need to conquer by claiming that one race needs to rule the others, as the master race can help the other races by showing them how to better themselves. He even claims that under the Daleks rule wars and persecution will end, and that they will rule benevolently. “Evil? no I will not accept that when the Daleks have suppressed all other life forms, when they are the masters, then you will have peace, they are not a force for evil, but for good”.

The Doctor however see’s through this and exposes Davros’s true character by asking the phial question.

Davors’ excitement at the Doctors hypothetical idea of ending all live, reveals that all he wishes to do is destroy, because it gives a weak pathetic little man like him a perverse sense of satisfaction. The creation of the Daleks is really all just to do with Davros’s own personal glory no matter how hard he tries to dress it up in being for the future of the Kaleds, or even the sake of the universe itself.

This is further evidenced when he says to the disloyal Kaled Scientists “We, I WILL GO ON” The fact that Davros creates the Daleks almost in his own twisted image also reinforces this.

Some men just want to watch the world, nay the universe burn!

However despite this Wisher is incredibly enough able to inject some sympathy into Davros’s character too. The final scene where the Daleks turn on Davros is actually my favourite moment in the entire history of “Doctor Who”. Davros finds himself ironically begging the Daleks to show pity on his loyal Kaled Scientists. The Daleks however can’t as they don’t know what pity is literally, as Davros removed it from them. Here even Davros realizes what a monster he has created. Before he had looked on pity as a weakness that had to be removed, but now he see’s that a creature without pity is truly uncontrollable and that even he, as ruthless and cruel as he is, is still capable of some acts of compassion whilst the Daleks simply are not.

One can’t help but feel almost sorry for him as he attempts to place his withered hand on the Daleks self destruct button finally realizing how wrong he has been and how all the sacrifices have been for nothing, only to be gunned down by his own creations who don’t show any emotion as they kill him. They don’t even view it as a triumph of killing their creator. To them killing Davros is no different to killing a Thal grunt.

Also once again we see see how Davros unlike the Daleks is capable of some compassion as he hesitates to place his hand on the button and destroy his life’s work, whilst the Daleks have no hesitation is shooting him at all. Davros’s ear piercing scream is truly horrifying to listen to

Davros was truly the height of Wisher’s career, not just in Doctor Who, but overall. He never again sadly got to play a role as large as this, but fortunately Davros was enough for him to always be remembered. “Genesis of the Daleks” has gone down as one of the all time greatest Doctor Who stories and is in fact the most repeated Classic Who story of all time. Davros meanwhile has also gone down as one of the most iconic Who villains of all time as well.

He would return many times (in every Dalek story in Classic Who in fact from this point on.) Sadly however Wisher would never get a chance to reprise his role. The producers did approach Wisher for both “Destiny of the Daleks” and “Resurrection of the Daleks” but he was unavailable both times. He did get to reprise the role on stage however in the play “The Trial of Davros” where he got to act alongside Peter Miles who had played Nyder in Genesis.

Still despite only playing the role of Davros once, most Whovians still regard him as the best Davros and indeed Tom Baker himself has said that he considers Michael Wishers Davros to have been the best villain his Doctor encountered.

Wisher’s performance as Davros had to rely entirely on his voice much like many other who villains from that era such as Gabriel Woof’s Sutekh and Michael Spice’s Morbius. He even practised with a paper bag over his head. It says a lot about Wisher and these other actors such as Gabriel Woof that they were able to create such memorable villains through their voices alone.

6/ Magrik/ Revenge of the Cybermen

Wisher’s next Who role was in “Revenge of the Cybermen”. Sadly the role was not that great a one, with Wisher’s character being a mere sidekick to the main villain of the story aside from the Cybermen themselves, Vorus. There’s not much to say about this character though Wisher is as good as ever. Its worth noting that this was not Wisher’s only role in the story. He also played a Vogan who is shot dead at the start and also provided an uncredited voice over. This story was actually shot before “Genesis of the Daleks” though it aired afterwards so these roles actually technically predated his performance as Davros.

7/ Morelli/ Planet of Evil

Wisher’s final Doctor Who role sadly was another minor character. On the plus side its arguably his most elaborate, over the top death, but still its a very small thankless role. Its a shame that after his success as Davros he never got another major Who role. I would have thought considering the success of Genesis, that Hinchcliff and Holmes at least would have had plenty of more characters for him.

Spinoff Who material

Throughout the late 80’s and early to mid 90’s Wisher would play a number of roles in Doctor Who spin off material including in the Audio Visual series (precursors to Big Finish which featured much of the same cast and crew including Nicholas Briggs) as well as the video “Wartime” where played Seargent Benton’s father. His final role was as an evil theatre commisionar in “Dalekmania” a documentary about the tow Cushing Dalek movies. He passed away in 1995 and is survived by his son Andrew Wisher who is also an actor. Rather touchingly Wisher was eulogized in the documentary “I was a Doctor Who Monster” which stated “To Michael Wisher a man among monsters.”