My 30 Favourite Dinosaurs

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Dinosaurs are the most incredible beasts. They have captured the public’s imagination for over 100 years, but whilst all Dinosaurs were in their own way unique and interesting, I think its fair to say that some Dinosaurs are the more interesting than others.

Its no coincidence that mighty killers like Tyrannosaurus Rex, and Spinosaurus and gentle lumbering giants like Bronotsaurus are more popular than say Microceratops.

So I’ve decided in this article to take a look at my top 30 Dinosaurs. I will be looking at just how deadly the meat eaters really were, debunk some famous myths and look at their most famous depictions in popular culture.

As always let me know what you think in the comments below.

30/ Dilophosaurus

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Name Meaning: Two Crested Lizard

Size: 23 feet in length, 400 kilograms in weight

Prey: Prosauropods 

Fossil Range: Middle Jurassic

Dilophosaurus was a medium sized carnivore, though it would have been the largest meat eater in its territory.

Originally thought to be nothing more than a scavenger dues to its apparently weak jaws, more recent studies have shown that Dilophosaurus teeth were stronger than previously thought.

It is believed that Dilophosaurus may have been like a lethal reptillian Kangeroo, jumping up and down on its tail slashing at victims with its massive claws and biting them.

It is also believed that much like the later Spinosaurus, Dilophosaurus used its claws to scoop up fish.

The two famous crests on the beasts head were very delicate and so would not have been used in any form of defence. Instead they may have been used to help it attract a mate or to cool down in the hotter climates.

In Popular Culture

Dilophosaurus was featured in Michael Crichton’s classic novel and subsequent film adaptation, Jurassic Park. Here however it was depicted as being much smaller and having the power to spit poison and a massive frill.

In many ways the Jurassic Park version was more terrifying than the real animal.

Sadly whilst this horrifying sequence is one of the most iconic from the original Jurassic Park, the Dilophosaurus, save for a tiny cameo as a hologram in Jurassic World, has yet to appear in any of the sequels.

I’d personally love to see a fight between a pack of Dilophosaurus’ and Velociraptors.

The success of Jurassic Park has meant that whenever Dilophosaurus does appear its often the Jurassic Park version rather than the real one. I can understand in a way, as from a story perspective, the spitting Dilophosaurus is a more unique and terrifying animal.

The actual Dilophosaurus would just be another giant meat eater, except not anywhere near as scary as the T-Rex, Spinosaurus or Allosaurus.

29/ Carnotaurus

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Name Meaning: Meat Eating Bull

Size: 29 feet

Prey: Sauropods

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

Carnotaurus was a member of the Abeliosaur family. Famous for its distinctive appearance, Carnotaurus was the only meat eating Dinosaur to have two horns above its eyes.

Its arms were the smallest of any meat eater (even more so than T-Rex.) Recent studies however have shown that it had one of the strongest bites of any non Tyrannosaur Dinosaur.

Its bite was over 6 tons, over twice that of the American Alligator, which has the strongest bite of any terrestrial animal alive today. This would have easily enabled a Carnotaurus to bite an animal the size of a human in half no problem. It may also have been able to partially dislocate its jaws like a snake too.

Carnotaurus was also one of, if not the fastest large meat eater. It is believed that it could run at 35 mph, which is faster than any animal of a similar size like a Rhino, or an Elephant today.

Its horns it seems may have been used more for fighting than for hunting, but whatever they case they were very strong and would have acted as shock absorbers when the animal attacked its victim.

In Popular Culture

Image result for Carnotaurus Disney

Due to its unusual design, Carnotaurus has become quite a popular Dinosaur in films and video games. Undoubtedly its most prominent role was in the 2001 Disney animated movie, Dinosaur, where it was the main antagonist. Apparently the standard Tyrannosaurus was to have been originally used, but the films makers at the last minute decided to switch to a Carnotaurus simply because they thought it looked better.

The Carnotaurus in this movie was obviously made much larger than the real animal.

Carnotaurus has long been associated with the Jurassic Park franchise too. It plays a significant role in the novel of The Lost World, where it is given the ability to camoflauge.

Despite this however it didn’t make an appearance on screen until Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom where it fell victim to a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

28/ Megalosaurus 

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Name Meaning: Great Lizard

Size: 30 feet

Fossil Range: Middle Jurassic

One of the original giant meat eating Dinosaurs, Megalosaurus was also fittingly one of the first Dinosaurs to ever be discovered. In fact Megalosaurus was discovered long before the name Dinosaur was even conceived.

Somewhat paradoxically however a full skeleton of Megalosaurus has never been discovered. Still from its remains scientists can gather a fairly accurate picture of what the beast would have looked like.

Megalosaurus had a somewhat more muscular build than many other meat eating Dinosaurs. Though its arms were still comparably small in regards to the rest of its body, they were also somewhat more muscular than on many other meat eaters.

Its head may also have been somewhat bigger than the majority of other meat eating dinosaurs too, and its jaws would have been very strong.

In many ways Megalosaurus is a reminder of just how little we know about the ancient world. We have had fossils of this creature for over 100 years, yet we still have not only been unable to find a complete skeleton, but even draw up a completely accurate picture of what the animal would have looked like.

In Popular Culture

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Megalosaurus was possibly the first Dinosaur to be referenced in popular culture. In Charles Dickens famous novel, Bleak House he mentions.

“Implacable November weather.  As much mud in the streets as if the waters had but newly retired from the face of the Earth, and would it not be wonderful to meet Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill.”

Several statues of Megalosaurus and other giant Dinosaurs like Iquanodon were built in the Crystal palace. However in the century since the models are now considered woefully inaccurate, but they can of course still be appreciated as pieces of art.

Megalosaurus also was listed as being one of the candidates for the giant meat eating Dinosaur that stalks our main heroes in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Lost World. Professor George Challenger mentions that the monster could be either Megalosaurus or Allosaurus, though certain reprints and editions will just choose one Dinosaur.

As larger and more ferocious Dinosaurs were discovered in the ensuing decades such as Allosaurus, Tyrannosaurus Rex and of course Spinosaurus, then Megalosaurus began to fade from the public’s consciousness, though it does still occasionally feature in some works of fiction such as the Jim Henson series Dinosaurs, where a Megalosaurus is the main character and the video game ARK.

27/ Baryonyx

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Name Meaning: Heavy Claw

Size: 33 feet in length, 2 tons in weight

Diet: Primarily fish, other smaller Dinosaurs, Pterosaurs

Fossil Range: Middle Cretaceous

A medium sized member of the Spinosaur family of Theropods. Baryonyx had a somewhat more unusual appearance than most other meat eating Dinosaurs with its long Crocodile like snout and the massive claws on its hands.

Most experts believe that Baryonyx was like the Dinosaur version of a large grizzly bear, living by lakes, using its claws to scoop up fish and snatching smaller prey. Whilst its diet appears to be mostly fish, there is some evidence that it fed on smaller Dinosaurs, with the remains of a baby Iquanodon, a plant eating Dinosaur having been found in its stomach.

It would have killed its prey by using its long claws to pin its victims down whilst it bit them.

It is possible that Baryonyx may have had a semi aquatic lifestyle and moved on all fours like its much larger cousin Spinosaurus, but there is no concrete evidence for this yet.

In Popular Culture

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Baryonyx’s most notable appearance in popular culture is in the movie Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs.

Set in a lost valley below the ground where Dinosaurs still roam, the Baryoynx who is named Rudy is the main antagonist of the movie, and is shown to be even larger than the Tyrannosaurus Rex, Big Momma, who is actually scared of Rudy.

Ultimately however in tradition with many other Dinosaur movies such as Jurassic Park, the T-Rex makes a heroic appearance at the end and saves the main characters by pushing Rudy off a cliff (though he survives and even cameos in the next entry in the series.)

Baryonyx also recently appeared in Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom.

26/ Ceratosaurus

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Name Meaning: Horn Lizard

Size: 23 feet long

Prey: Smaller herbivores, possibly larger prey in packs.

Fossil Range: Mid to late Jurassic

A small to medium sized meat eater from the Jurassic era. Ceratosaurus is most famous for the single horn on its nose, a unique feature among meat eating Dinosaurs. Whilst many initially assumed that Ceratosaurus used this horn as a weapon, it is now primarily believed to have been used for a mating display.

Small, nimble and agile, but lacking in tremendous power, Ceratosaurus most likely preyed on smaller herbivores or infants of larger creatures like Diplodocus or Brachiosaurus. It is possible that it may have hunted larger prey in packs, but there is very little evidence for this yet. Some experts believe that Ceratosaurus may also have been a pescavore too.

Ceratosaurus shared its environment with Allosaurus which was a much larger and more powerful therapod. It has been suggested that these two predators sought different prey in order to avoid conflict with one another.

In Popular Culture

Ceratosaurus has been featured in many movies and pieces of Dinosaur fiction. Due its more distinct appearance it often became the other giant meat eater after Tyrannosaurus and Allosaurus.

Its most notable appearance in films was arguably the Ray Harryhausen movie One Million Years BC where a Ceratosaurus was shown to fight a Triceratops before being gored to death.

Of course just as in other films the Ceratosaurus is shown to be far larger and more powerful. There is no way a real life Ceratosaurus would be able to even hold its own against a Triceratops (not that the two creatures would have ever met of course, but then again One Million Years BC is a fantasy film anyway.)

Some of Harryhausen’s best work. This scene would often be used in documentary’s about Dinosaurs to demonstrate how a Tyrannosaurus and Triceratops would have fought each other.

25/ Velociraptor

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Name Meaning: Swift Robber

Size: 7 feet long

Diet: Mammals, small herbivores, baby Dinosaurs

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

Velociraptor is of course one of the most famous Dinosaurs of all time. In fact its arguably the second most famous Dinosaur after Tyrannosaurus Rex. Its a toss up between it and Triceratops.

The image of Velociraptor in popular culture is quite different to the real animal. Velociraptor is often depicted as a 6 foot tall, scaly man eater, hunting in packs to bring down giant Dinosaurs like Sauropods, and slicing its prey open with is sickle like claw.

In reality however Velociraptor was the size of a Wolf, covered in feathers and its claw was incapable of disembowling, or even penetrating the hard skin of a modern day Crocodile, never mind a giant Sauropod.

It is also not even known for sure if Velociraptor hunted in packs either. Modern day relatives of Dinosaurs, birds and Crocodillians are shown to work together to bring down large prey, so its entirely possible that Velociraptor would have done so too.

Nevertheless Velociraptor was still a fearsome killer. It preyed on smaller Dinosaurs like the pig sized Protoceratops as well as baby Dinosaurs of giants like Ankylosaurus.

As to how Velociraptor killed its prey, its believed that it stabbed its sickle like claw into its victims throats and slowly choked them to death.

Evidence for this comes from a truly incredible fossil of a Velociraptor and a Proteceratops caught fighting each other. How these two animals were suddenly killed in the middle of fighting no one knows, but it seems likely they were buried under a sand storm which would have helped to preserve the two Dinosaurs too.

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You can see how the Raptor in its final moments is thrusting its claw into the herbivores neck to try and escape.

Another way that Velociraptor could have killed its victims would have been to climb to the top of a tree, and glide down like a bird of prey onto its unsuspecting victims back. Its jaws were very strong for an animal of its size and whilst the talons on its feet and hands held its prey down, the Raptor would have eaten them alive!

Velociraptor was also among the most intelligent species of Dinosaurs. It is known that some Dinosaur species, such as Tyrannosaurus Rex were more intelligent than some modern day species of apes, and so in this respect Velociraptor’s intelligence may very well have rivalled among the most intelligent mammals around today.

In Popular Culture

Velociraptor’s most famous appearance in popular culture was of course in Michael Crichton’s novel, and subsequent film adaptation, Jurassic Park.

Following the success of Jurassic Park, Raptors would go on to appear in countless other works of fiction in exactly the same way, as tall, scaly, fiendishly clever, pack hunters, with disembowling claws.

The actual Dinosaur in Crichton’s Jurassic Park was based on Deinonychus, a larger relative of Velociraptors. At the time Crichton was writing, Deinonychus was actually believed to be a member of the Velociraptor family, but this has since been disproven.

Had it not been for this error then Crichton would have most likely used Deinonychus, and Velociraptor, who was discovered as far back as the 1920s would have continued to remain obscure. Thanks to a small error however Velociraptor has now become the second most famous Dinosaur of them all.

24/ Dryptosaurus

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Name meaning: Tearing Reptile

Size: 24 feet long, over 1 ton in weight

Prey: Hadrosaurs

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

Dryptosaurus was a member of the Tyrannosaur family of Dinosaurs which obviously included T-Rex. Originally smaller meat eaters, the Tyrannosaurs gradually grew to be the largest and dominant family of meat eating Dinosaurs, out competing other large groups of meat eaters to extinction anywhere they appeared.

Dryptosaurus however was still a relatively smaller Tyrannosaur, though it would have had a stronger bite than any animal alive today, and would have most likely been very fast too. It could possibly have run up to 35 miles per hour, which is faster than modern day carnivores like Tigers and Lions.

What Dryptosaurus lacked in size, it would have made up for in intelligence, speed and power.

In Popular Culture

Image result for Dryptosaurus Charles R Knight

Dryptosaurus was featured in the works of artist Charles R Knight (whose paintings of prehistoric creatures later inspired the works of Willis O’Brien and Ray Harryhausen.)

Knight’s painting depicted Dryptosaurus as an active, fleet footed creature moving in a more bird like stance.

At the time such ideas were not widely held by the scientific community. Dinosaurs were thought of as slow moving, stupid, obsolete creatures destined for extinction. This painting of the two fighting Dryptosaurus however challenged that assumption and would later be influential in reconstructions of similar fleet footed, smaller bird like Dinosaurs such as the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park.

Sadly however despite this Dryptosaurus appears to have been left out of most films, television series and comic books about Dinosaurs. Personally I think it would make a great antagonist as it’s kind of like a combination of a T-Rex and a Raptor.

23/ Centrosaurus

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Name Meaning: Pointed Lizard

Size: 19 feet long

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Mid Cretaceous

Centrosaurus was a medium sized Ceratopsian Dinosaur. It had a single horn on the tip of its snout and a massive frill. Like most Ceratopsians it was able to defend itself against the majority of meat eating Dinosaurs, but was still preyed upon by Tyrannosaurs, such as Daspletosaurus (believed to be the ancestor of Tyrannosaurus Rex.)

The horn on the Centrosaurus was used for defence, but its frill was soft and weak and so therefore was most likely used to attract mates.

Whilst nowhere near as large or powerful as the more famous Triceratops, there still have been far more skeletons of Centrosaurus discovered than of Triceratops and so it appears to have been a very successful animal.

Despite this however as there were so many similar and closely related species, then trying to figure out which animals were merely closely related and which were actually specimens of Centrosaurus has been somewhat difficult for experts.

Monoclonius for instance was a famous Ceratopsian Dinosaur, often featured in popular culture that was thought to be a relative of Centrosaurus until recently, it was revealed to just be a specimen of Centrosaurus itself.

In Popular Culture

Centrosaurus has been featured in many documentaries about Dinosaurs including the recent Planet Dinosaur narrated by the late John Hurt.

One memorable sequence shows several Daspletosaurus’ attack a herd of Centrosaurus, chasing them into a lagoon where a Deinosochus (a prehistoric crocodile, 40 feet long) carries several of the helpless herbivores away.

 

Another memorable appearance from the Dinosaur in popular culture was an animated short by Phil Tippet which depicted a Centrosaurus being hunted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The Centrosaurus was actually meant to be a Monoclonius, but since Monoclonius was just Centrosaurus anyway, then what the hell I’ll list it here.

Tyrannosaurus did not live at the same time as Centrosaurus, (the Centrosaurus is also a bit bigger too, as obviously a real life Tyrannosaurus would snap a Centrosaurus in half in about 3 seconds!) Still this short titled Prehistoric Beast is absolutely superb.

Not only is the animation still top notch, but this scene also develops a very intense and frightening atmosphere leading up to the T-Rex’s appearance. It feels almost like a horror movie!

We see the Rex slowly stalk the herbivore through the dark and unrelenting forest. The Centrosaurus is clearly scared, but can’t see anything and as it starts to frantically try and get away, it ends up not only becoming separated from its herd, but unwittingly stumbling into the Tyrannosaur’s nest, where it sees the mangled remains of the Rex’s previous kill. The Centrosaurus is too scared at the sight to even notice the Rex creeping up on it.

When the two fight you are led to think that the Centrosaurus might just have a chance, the way it is able to stab the Tyrannosaurus in the leg, but when the monster just shrugs it off and corners the Centrosaurus, you know there is nothing the poor herbivore can do, and its a genuinely disturbing moment when the Rex slowly moves in for the kill.

Its a shame that Centrosaurus’ most popular appearances on film and television involve it being ripped to pieces, but at least it usually doesn’t go down without a fight.

22/ Ankylosaurus

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Name Meaning: Armoured Lizard

Size: 29 feet, 8 tonnes

Diet plants

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

One of the most iconic Dinosaurs, Ankylosaurus was the largest of the armoured Dinosaurs. Ankylosaurus was also among the last dinosaurs to die out and lived alongside the likes of Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus Rex and Velociraptor.

Ankylosaurus was believed to have had the smallest brain of any large Dinosaur, but it of course more than made up for this with its massive body armour. Even its eye lids were said to have been hardened.

Ankylosaurus also had a massive club on its tail which could swing with a force of over 4 tons.

There is evidence that Anklyosaurus fought with other giant meat eating Dinosaurs such as Tyrannosaurus Rex and Tarbosaurus (with specimens of both carnivores having massive whacks on their legs which were clearly made by Anklyosaurus.)

In addition to this Velociraptors were known to prey on Ankylosaurs young. The massive armour hadn’t grown in yet in baby Ankylosaurs and the much more intelligent raptors would often lure the hapless childrent away from their parents (possibly through working together in packs, with one Raptor distracting the parents.)

Still despite this Ankylosaurus would have been capable of defending itself from most predators and was one of the most dangerous plant eating Dinosaurs.

In Popular Culture

Ankylosaurus is featured fairly regularly in popular culture, though usually just as a background character.

In the BBC series Walking With Dinosaurs, an Ankylosaurus is cast in a more antagonistic role against a heroic mother Tyrannosaurus who tries to defend her young. Its one of the rare instances of a meat eating Dinosaur being portrayed sympathetically.

Arguably the most famous example of Ankylosaurus in popular culture was in the Godzilla film series. Godzilla’s best friend Angillas, is a mutated Ankylosaurus. Though not the most powerful monster, Angillas is Godzilla’s most loyal sidekick and is always the first by his side.

21/ Oviraptor

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Name Meaning: Egg Thief

Size: 7 feet long

Diet: small mammals, small animals

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

One of the most famous small meat eating Dinosaurs. Oviraptor was originally believed to be a sneaky egg thief as its skull had been found near the remains of several eggs.

More recent studies have shown however that this assumption was unfair as the eggs the Oviraptor skull was near were actually its own, and it was in contrast to what its name would suggest, a protective mother.

Oviraptor was one of the most intelligent meat eating Dinosaurs. It was a warm blooded creature, covered in feathers and extremely fast and agile. Its strong beak would have enabled it to crush the bones of its prey.

In Popular Culture

Oviraptor has most frequently appeared as a sneaky egg thief in popular culture that meets a gruesome end at the ends of a larger more formidable meat eating Dinosaur, much to the audiences satisfaction.

A classic example of this can be found in the 80s documentary Dinosaur by Christopher Reeve. Here the Oviraptor is shown to steal several Hadrosaur eggs, but after being chased away by the angry mother, the Dinosaur takes a wrong turn and ends up in a dark forest, surrounded by two Deinonychus.

The Deinonychus corner the Oviraptor and tear its guts out. The effects for this sequence supplied by Phil Tippet (who later went to work on Jurassic Park) are stunning, but much like with the Monoclonious sequence its the atmosphere that gets built up that really makes it effective. I always had nightmares from the scene where the Deinonychus first roars at the Oviraptor. With is red eye piercing through the darkness, it looks almost like a Demon.

This sequence is also notable for being one of the first ever appearances of smaller pack hunting Dinosaurs like Velociraptor in popular culture and may have even inspired similar scenes in Jurassic Park, (with the Documentary predating both the book and film.)

20/ Brontosaurs

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Name Meaning: Thunder Lizard

Size: 72 feet long, 20 tons

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Mid Jurassic

One of the most famous of all Dinosaurs. Brontosaurus for many decades was believed to be an invalid genus of Dinosaur.

When the beast was originally discovered it was believed to be its own separate species, but later studies apparently showed that it was in fact a specimen of an already existing species of sauropod Dinosaur called Apatosaurus. Sadly as a result of this Brontosaurus was deemed invalid.

Despite this however the name Brontosaurus persisted in popular culture. Indeed it ironically became arguably one of the most famous Dinosaur names, and the most famous long necked Dinosaur alongside Diplodocus. However in the last year it was discovered that actually the experts had been correct in their original assertion and Brontosaurus was its own separate genus after all.

The Brontosaurus is Back

I personally always preferred the name Brontosaurus to Apatosaurus so I’m glad its back. Its so much more dynamic sounding and it also has a much better meaning “thunder lizard” as opposed to “deceptive lizard” which is what Apatosaurus means.

In Popular Culture

By far and away one of the most famous Dinosaurs, Brontosaurus has appeared in many films, television series and comic books over the years.

It was a regular of the movies of special effects pioneer Willis O’Brien and his protegee, Ray Harryhausen. It appeared in the 1925 version of The Lost World, King Kong, The Animal Kingdom and One Million Years BC.

Unquestionably its most famous moment in popular culture is at the end of the 1925 version of The Lost World where a Brontosaurus is brought back to London, only to escape and go on a rampage.

This marked the first ever instance on film of a gigantic prehistoric monster rampaging its way through a large modern city. Godzilla, The Beast From 20000 Fathoms, King Kong and the T-Rex from The Lost World Jurassic Park would all follow in the Brontosaurus’ destructive footsteps.

Whilst this is the most famous appearance of Brontosaurus on film, my favourite would have to be in King Kong.

Here the Brontosaurus attacks a group of sailors searching for Kong and Anne Darrow whilst they are crossing a lake. After capsizing their boat, the Brontosaurus kills several of them, before chasing one sailor up a tree who it promptly kills. (Probably not the best place to hide from a giant long necked Dinosaur!)

Whilst the herbivorous Brontosaurus appears to eat the sailors, it is actually just mauling them. Though its still probably a lot more vicious than the actual animal would have been, its still a brilliant sequence, and I wish more directors had used Brontosaurus as a villain rather than just a large docile grazer. Its massive size, and long serpentine neck that can reach in small places makes it a very effective villain.

If any of the sailors were Dinosaur fans then they might have been relieved to see the Brontosaurus at first thinking “oh don’t worry they are friendly” only to get a nasty surprise.

19/ Iguanodon

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Name Meaning: Iguana Tooth

Size: 33 feet, 3 tons

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Early to Mid Cretaceous

One of the first Dinosaurs to be discovered. Iguanodon was a medium sized (by Dinosaur standards) herbivore that was fairly successful and widespread during the period.

Its size would have scared away most predators, but there is evidence that it fell prey to larger killers including Spinosaurids like Baryonx, and Tyrannosaurids like Eotyrannus. The remains of an Iguanodon have been found in the stomach of a Baryonx.

However Iguanodon was no pushover when it came to larger predators either. It had a massive spike on its thumb which it could have used to bring down some of the deadliest killers around.

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In Popular Culture

Iguanodon was one of the first Dinosaurs to be discovered alongside Megalosaurus, and so was one of the first Dinosaurs to be featured in popular culture. Statues were constructed of the beast outside Crystal Palace. Sadly whilst these models were terrific and still hold up as great pieces of art. They were completely inaccurate, and depicted Iguanodon as a four legged animal with a horn on its nose.

A more accurate early depiction was in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World. Here it is depicted as a gentle, herbivore that is easily slaughtered and hunted by both Allosaurus and the humans of the plateau.

Iguanodon would go on to appear in the 1925 version of The Lost World where it is killed in a fight with an Allosaurus that tears its throat out.

Iguanodon would come to be phased out of popular culture when other, larger, more deadly herbivores such as Triceratops, Ankylosaurus and Brontosaurus began to be discovered.

Still Iguanodon has continued to appear in a few works in recent times, such as most notably Walking with Dinosaurs where it is slaughtered by a pack of vicious Utahraptors.

I think its a shame that Iguanodon’s most famous appearances in popular culture, all involve it getting ripped apart by killers like Allosaurus, Giganotosaurus and Utahraptor. It would be nice to see it get a chance to use its spikey thumb at least once on the big screen.

18/ Archaeopteryx

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Name Meaning: Old Wing

Size: 1 foot 8 inches in length

Diet: Small mammals and insects

Fossil Range: Mid Jurassic

A very special animal in the history of paleontology. Archaeopteryx is a missing link between Dinosaurs and Birds.

At the time of its discovery the idea that small, feathery, warm bloodied birds could have descended from giant scaly meat eating Dinosaurs would have seemed ridiculous, but Arechaeopteryx clearly bore many similarities with both modern birds and Dinosaurs.

It had claws on its hands, a sickle like claw on its foot (similar to Dinosaurs such as Velociraptor.) It also had a mouth full of teeth too rather than a beak. Still despite this Archeaoptryx was covered in feathers, and had hollow bones just like a modern day bird. (Prior to the discovery of Archeaoptryx, hollow bones and feathers were believed to be features unique only to birds.)

Of course the debate would rage on for many decades after Archeaoptryx’s discovery, but still this small feathered Dinosaur begun the debate, and eventually after the discovery of more transitional fossils, as well as the discovery of many more strong similarities between birds and Dinosaurs, it is now accepted that birds not only evolved from Dinosaurs, but that they are classed as a sub group of Dinosaur. Thus ironically Dinosaurs aren’t extinct. They are all around us today.

17/ Tarbosaurus

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Name Meaning: Alarming Reptile

Size: 39 feet long, 8 tons

Diet: Hadrosaurs, Ceratopsians, Anklyosaurs, Sauropods

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

Tarbosaurus was a member of the Tyrannosaur family. It was the second largest member of the family after Tyrannosaurus Rex itself.

Slight smaller than T-Rex, Tarbosaurus was nevertheless the apex predator in its environment. It has a stronger bite than the overwhelming majority of large meat eating Dinosaurs.

The similarities between Tarbosaurus and Tyrannosaurus Rex are so great that many believed that Tarbosaurus was actually just an Asian representative of Tyrannosaurus Rex itself!

In Popular Culture

Tarbosaurus has been featured a few documentary’s over the years such as Chased by Dinosaurs, but sadly it was almost always left out of any fictional works about Dinosaurs.

In 2012 however, Tarbosaurus finally landed a starring role in the South Korean film the Dino King, which follows a young Tarbosaurus whose family are killed by a Tyrannosaurus Rex named One Eye. One Eye continues to stalk Speckles throughout the rest of the movie, before their final showdown (see above). Its kind of like The Land Before Time, except with a Tarbosaurus taking the place of Littlefoot. Its a decent, if somewhat surreal Dinosaur movie.

16/ Stenonychosaurus

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Name Meaning: Narrow Claw Lizard

Size: 6 feet long

Diet: Small mammals, dinosaurs 

Fossil Range: Late Creteceous 

Stenonychosaurus was a small, bird like Dinosaur that may have hunted in packs. It was incredibly fast and agile and had large, sickle like claws on its hands and feet. Its teeth however were relatively small and weak, and many experts believe that it may have been an omnivore.

Stenonychosaurus for many decades much like Brontosaurus was believed to be an invalid genus, with Phil Currie in 1987 reassigning Stenonychosaurus as part of the genus Troodon.

However in 2017 it was recognised as its own separate species, though still as a member of the Troodontid family.

Stenonychosaurus was also believed to be among the smartest of all Dinosaurs, with the Troodontids having the largest brain to body ratios of any Dinosaur species. Its not known for sure how intelligent the animals were, but recent studies have shown that Tyrannosaurus Rex may have been smarter than a Chimpanzee, in which case Troodontod’s intelligence may very well have been on a par with some of the most intelligent animals around today.

In Popular Culture

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The paleontologist Dale Russell published a thought experiment in 1982 where he argued it was possible had Dinosaurs not been driven to extinction that small meat eaters like Stenonychosaurus (then thought to be Troodon.) Would have eventually evolved into a humanoid like life form, which Dale dubbed “Dinosauroid.”

The Dinosauroid Dale proposed would have communicated in bird song, and would have fed its young through reguritation like many modern birds.

Sadly Russell’s reputation would suffer somewhat as a result of this outlandish theory, even though it was just intended to be a thought experiment. Still it is an interesting idea nonetheless that has always fascinated me.

The idea of Dinosaurs evolving into humans had actually been featured in fiction before Russell’s thought experiment.

In the classic British sci fi comic, Dan Dare, the main villains, Venusians called the Treens, were said to have evolved from Dinosaur like aliens. Dan Dare’s version of Venus (which was a planet with an earth like atmosphere, teeming with life) was split into two sections, through a naturally occurring phenomenon called the flame belt.

On the cooler side of the planet, mammal like life forms evolved, including a race of human like aliens called Therons. On the warmer side of the planet however, Dinosaur like reptiles evolved to become the dominant life form. (Dan even refers to one of them as a Triceratops.) The Treens meanwhile evolved from small meat eating Dinosaurs, and eventually became the dominant life forms on their planet.

The Treens even look like Dale Russell’s Dinosauroid, with their green skins, bald heads, and beak like mouths. However any similarities between the two is coincidental as Dan Dare was never popular in America where Russell was born and raised.

Image result for treens dan dareImage result for Dinosauroid

Maybe somewhere across the universe there is a planet where Dinosauroid’s like the Treens are the dominant life forms?

15/ Therizinosaurus

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Name Meaning: Scythe Lizard

Size: 33 feet

Diet: plants

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

A very strange looking plant eating Dinosaur that looked like a cross between Wolverine and an pigeon.

The three massive claws on Therinzinosaurus forearms were the largest ever to exist in any animal (topping even the legendary Spinosaurus’ killing claws.) It is not known exactly what they were for. Many believed that they were primarily used to fend off large predators, but they may have ironically, primarily been used for the mundane task of scrapping leaves off of branches for it to eat.

14/ Gorgosaurus

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Name Meaning: Dreadful Lizard

Size: 30 feet long, 2 tons

Diet: Hadrosaurs, Ceratopsians 

Fossil Range: Mid Cretaceous

Gorgosaurus was a medium sized member of the Tyrannosaur family. Interestingly enough it shared its environment with another large Tyrannosaur, Daspletosaurus (the ancestor of Tyrannosaurus Rex.)

The two large predators however did not compete as they hunted different types of herbivores. Daspletosaurus, that was more heavily built and had stronger jaws, hunted the more heavily armoured Dinosaurs such as the Anklyosaurs and Ceratopsians, whilst the more fleet footed Gorgosaurus hunted the faster Hadrosaurs.

More specimens of Gorgosaurus have been found than of any other Tyrannosaur and so we actually know more about Gorgosaurus than almost any other meat eater including Tyrannosaurus Rex itself.

In Popular Culture

Gorgosaurus appears as the main antagonist in the CGI movie, Walking with Dinosaurs. Based on the popular BBC television series of the same name. This film however was more of a fantasy movie akin to the famous Land Before Time film series, as it featured Dinosaurs being able to talk.

13/ Stegosaurus

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Name meaning: Roof Lizard

Size: 29 feet long, 7 tons

Diet: Plants

Fossil range: Mid Jurassic

One of the most famous of all Dinosaurs. Stegosaurus was a relatively simple animal, with one of the smallest brains of any known Dinosaur species. At one point it was actually believed that Stegosaurus’ brain was so small that it needed a second brain, near the back of its legs to control the second half of its body! However subsequent studies have shown that it not only didn’t have a second brain, but that its brain was larger than previously believed, though it was still one of the smallest of any large Dinosaur.

Nevertheless despite it’s limited intelligence, Stegosaurus was also one of the most successful Dinosaur species, lasting for over 10 million years.

Stegosaurus whilst a large herbivore, was not big enough to scare off the massive predators it lived alongside such as Allosaurus. Instead it relied on the 4 massive spikes on its tail to ward off predators. Each spike was up to three feet long and made of solid bone.

Evidence shows that Stegosaurus and Allosaurus regularly came into conflict with one another, with bite marks made by Allosaurus, that have healed having been found on Stegosaurus skeletons, and Stegosaurus spike marks that have healed being found on Allosaurus skeletons.

Stegosaurus has always been one of my favourite Dinosaurs because of its truly spectacular appearance. The reason for the massive plates along its back have been a source of debate among experts with some arguing that they were used as armour, similar to the later Anklyosaurus, whilst others have argued that they may have simply been used to regulate the animals body temperature. Finally another theory is that the plates were used to ward off attackers like Allosaurus

In Popular Culture

Stegosaurus is one of the most famous and beloved Dinosaurs. It has appeared in some of the earliest fictional works about Dinosaurs and much like Tyrannosaurus Rex and Allosaurus and Triceratops it has continued to be featured regularly since.

Stegosaurus appears in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s novel The Lost World, being the first Dinosaur that Challenger discovers on the plateau. It went on to appear in the 1925 version, albeit in a reduced role.

Stegosaurus also appeared in Fantasia in the iconic Rite of Springs passage. Here it is hunted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Following this Tyrannosaurus and Stegosaurus would often be depicted as rivals, despite the fact that Stegosaurus died out millions of years before Tyrannosaurus. There is in fact a greater distance between Tyrannosaurus Rex and Stegosaurus, than there is between humanity and Tyrannosaurus.

The predatory Dinosaur in this sequence was intended to be Tyrannosaurus, despite having three fingers, which Allosaurus, Stegosaurus’ actual predator had. This was apparently because Walt Disney thought T-Rex looked better with three fingers.

Stegosaurus would also go on to appear in the likes of Walking with Dinosaurs and the Jurassic Park franchise where it famously attacks Julianne Moore when she gets too close to one of its children.

The Stegosaurus here is depicted as much larger than the real animal.

12/ Styracosaurus

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Name Meaning: Spiked Lizard

Size: 18 feet long, 3 tons

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

An iconic Ceratopsian Dinosaur, Styracosaurus is known from many fossil fragments, and was distinguished by the massive horns on the top of its frill.

Its not known what the true purpose of its somewhat more extravagant head was. Whilst many believe that its frill and horns were used for defence, others believe that it may have used them to help distinguish one another, or for mating or for warding off predators. Its head was so disproportionately large that it may have made Styracosaurus look larger than it was.

Most experts however believe that Styracosaurus much like its larger relative Triceratops that it simply used its frill for defence. Styracosaurus shared its environment with many large predators such as Albertosaurus, a member of the Tyrannosaur family.

There is evidence that Styracosaurus would also have lived in herds for further protection.

11/ Carcharodontosaurus

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Name Meaning: Shark Tooth Lizard

Size: 44 feet long, 15 tons

Diet: Sauropods

Fossil Range: Mid Cretaceous

One of the largest meat eaters ever to walk the earth, Carcharodontosaurus, was a member of the Allosaur family and may very well have been larger than Tyrannosaurus Rex itself. Like all Allosaurs it combined tremendous speed with incredible strength. It may despite its massive size have been able to run at speeds of up to 30 miles per hour. It had a very powerful bite, though not as strong as Tyrannosaurus Rex, Carcharodontosaurus may also have used its jaws like hatchet in a similar fashion to Allosaurus.

Carcharodontosaurus lived alongside another, even bigger carnivore, Spinosaurus. Carcharodontosaurus and Spinosaurus most likely would not have come into conflict with one another very often. Spinosaurus was most likely a semi aquatic animal that would have preyed on marine life and Dinosaurs straying close to the river. Carcharodontosaurus meanwhile would have hunted Sauropods on the open plains and the forest.

Large predators today also generally tend to avoid each other in case of injury, so its reasonable to assume that Carcharodontosaurus and Spinosaurus would have been the same.

However there is evidence that the two did occasionally fight one another, with a Carcharodontosaurus bite mark having been found on the sail of a Spinosaurus.

As to which of these two apex predators would have been likely to win in a fight, well that’s like saying who would win in a fight between a Crocodile and a Lion. Both are more than capable of killing one another. Spinosaurus was the larger predator, but Carcharodontosaurus had a larger bite, and was faster than Spinosaurus too.

It would depend on circumstances, the age and health of both Dinosaurs, the environment (in the forest Carcharodontosaurus would have had the advantage, whilst by the water, Spinosaurus would have the obvious advantage) and like most things, luck.

Spinosaurus may have never met Tyrannosaurus Rex, (as the two lived several million years and continents apart) but it would have at least on occasion have duelled with an even bigger meat eating Dinosaur.

10/ Brachiosaurus

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Name Meaning: Arm Lizard.

Size: 85 feet long, over 70 tons

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Mid to Late Jurassic

One of the most spectacular animals ever to live on the planet. Brachiosaurus was one of the largest sauropods standing over 40 feet tall.

Brachiosaurus was able to reach the very tops of trees with its long neck. It may have been a herding animal, but its massive size would have rendered it immune to most predators. The massive crest on its head was most likely used to attract a mate or perhaps regulate body temperature.

In Popular Culture

Brachiosaurus’ most famous depiction in popular culture is in Jurassic Park where it is the first Dinosaur to be seen in its entirety. Its hard to imagine the impact this scene had on audiences in 1993. In the two decades since the most famous moments from Jurassic Park have become so familiar to modern audiences, even people who haven’t seen the film, will still have undoubtedly seen them spoofed or replicated in other works since.

Still this scene holds up as a very special moment in cinema history as it introduces us to the spectacular visuals (which still surpass most modern attempts) that brought these wonderful creatures to life.

Surprisingly however despite its distinctive appearance and popularity, Brachiosaurus has often been sidelined in popular culture for other sauropods such as Brontosaurus and Diplodocus. Its made a few other appearances such as in Walking with Dinosaurs (where again it only makes a cameo.)

Sadly however despite its iconic status, Brachiosaurus is rather underutilised.

9/ Pachycephalosaurus

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Name Meaning: Head Lizard

Size: 14 feet long

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

A more unusual looking Dinosaur, Pachycephalosaurus was also one of the last Dinosaurs to die out. It would have lived alongside other famous Dinosaurs such as Tyrannosaurus Rex, Deinonychus and Triceratops.

Pachycephalosaurus is only known from a few skull fragments, but close study of other similar Dinosaur species have ultimately allowed experts to build a reasonable picture of how the animal would have behaved.

Pachycephalosaurus had a massive dome on the top of its head, that experts believe it may have used to ram rivals, like a modern day bighorn sheep. It may also have used this tactic to defend itself against smaller predatory Dinosaurs such as Raptors and Dromeosaurs.

Some experts however have disputed that they would have rammed each other head on, and may have instead charged at their victims side or underbelly instead.

In Popular Culture

Pacycephalosaurus despite its unique appearance, is sadly often left out of most works about Dinosaurs. However it did make a memorable appearance in The Lost World: Jurassic Park, where it is shown to be powerful enough to ram a man through two windows.

8/ Utahraptor

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Name Meaning: Utah’s Predator

Size: 19 Feet Long

Diet: Iguanodon’s and Therenziosaurs

Fossil Range: Early Cretaceous

Utahraptor was a large Dromeosaurid bigger than a Polar Bear, closely related to other famous killers such as Deinonychus and Velociraptor (as well as modern day birds.)

Utahraptor may have been a pack hunter, in which case it would have been able to bring down the largest herbivores of its time. Even if it hunted on its own, it still would have been more than capable of bringing down prey as big as Iguanodon. Utahraptor was not the fastest of the raptors, so it would it may have relied on ambush tactics to catch smaller prey instead.

Utahraptor would have killed larger herbivores by jumping on their backs. It would have used its sickle like claw to climb its preys backs and hold on to them whilst it tore chunks of flesh off with its powerful jaws.

Like all Dromeosaurs, Utahraptor would most likely have been covered in feathers too.

In Popular Culture

The first fragments of Utahraptor were discovered in 1975, but it wouldn’t be until after Jurassic Park in the 90s that they would be given greater attention and the beast was actually named.

Utahraptor for a while became one of the most popular Dinosaurs, as it was actually closer to the Velociraptors of Jurassic Park, than the actual Velociraptors were (though in truth it was far larger and more powerful than the Raptors of Jurassic Park and may even have been as smart too, well as smart as the Raptors of the first film, not the third.)

Ultimately however the name Velociraptor had more staying power, but still Utahraptor has gone on to make a few prominent appearances in popular culture.

In Walking with Dinosaurs a pack of Utahraptors are shown to hunt an Iguanodon. Of course the fact that the episode is set in Europe makes it a little odd that there are Utahraptors at all. (Key’s in the name UTAHraptor) still its a thrilling sequence and definitely the best reconstruction of Raptors hunting other Dinosaurs I’ve ever seen.

Utahraptor was also the star of the novel Raptor Bed by paleontologist Bob Bakker which tells the story of a female Utahraptor trying to survive after her pack has been killed off.

Finally Utahraptor also appeared in Primeval New World where it was shown to battle a Pteranodon.

Raptors appeared in several episodes of the earlier British version of Primeval. However they were never identified. They did match Utahraptor in terms of size, but it was never stated for sure whether they were Utahraptors, Deinonychus’ or even just oversized Velociraptors like in Jurassic Park.

Still since they matched Utahraptor in size then what the hell. Here’s to the Primeval Raptors, my favourite Raptors after the Jurassic Park ones. In Primeval the Raptors were often ironically cast in heroic roles, albeit unintentionally, such as when a Raptor kills Emily’s abusive husband, or in season 3 when a Raptor kills Helen Cutter and ironically saves the human race in the process.

7/ Diplodocus

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Name Meaning: Double Beam

Size: Over 100 tons, 105 feet long

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Mid to Late Jurassic

Diplodocus was a sauropod and possibly the longest Dinosaur of all time. The most extreme estimates for Diplodocus put its top length at 175 feet long!

Diplodocus was not like Brachiosaurus in that it could not raise its neck to feed on the very tops of trees and instead would have primarily browsed low level vegetation.

The Diplodocus’ could live for over 100 years, and at full size would have been too big for most predators, though it is believed that the likes of Allosaurus at the very least preyed on their young.

Like many Sauropods, Diplodocus was most likely a herding animal. It is also known to have swallowed stones to help it digest its food too.

In Popular Culture

One of the most famous Sauropods, Diplodocus has appeared in numerous films, books and documentaries about Dinosaurs over the decades, including Walking with Dinosaurs.

A Diplodocus specimen named Dippy stood for over 100 years as star attraction in the British museum. When the decision was made to replace it in 2017 with a Blue Whale named Hope, there was a massive outcry from the public, but Dippy has since gone on tour around the world.

6/ Triceratops

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Name Meaning: Three Horned Face

Size: 12 tons, 35 feet long

Diet: Plants

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

The largest and most famous of the Ceratopsian Dinosaurs. Triceratops was also among the last Dinosaurs to go extinct.

Triceratops’ massive frill was incredibly thick and strong compared to those of other Ceratopsians, whilst the two horns above its eyes were over 8 feet long.

Triceratops naturally used its horns and frill to defend itself from Tyrannosaurus Rex, its main predator.  Contrary to popular belief, Triceratops did not charge at its victim like a Rhino. Whilst the horns were strong, its beak was quite fragile and would have broken had it charged head on.

Triceratops instead would have gored its victims to death by swinging its head from side to side. Whilst Triceratops did fall victim to Tyrannosaurus Rex, it would have been too big and powerful for the Dromeosaurs it lived alongside. Triceratops could not run very fast, and it wasn’t the smartest animal, so it needed to be large and powerful.

However whilst Triceratop’s horns and frill were primarily used to fight off giant predators, experts believe that they may also have been used by males to wrestle with one another over a mate, and for display.

In Popular Culture

Triceratops is one of the most famous Dinosaurs. In popular culture it is almost always depicted as the archenemy of Tyrannosaurus Rex. Unlike other Dinosaur feuds on screen however such as T-Rex and Stegosaurus, Tyrannosaurus and Triceratops actually did live alongside one another, and regularly fought each other.

Fossil evidence shows that T-Rex fought Triceratops head on just like the movies too (though undoubtedly it would have ambushed Triceratops in many instances, with Triceratops frill blocking off its vision behind, allowing the much faster T-Rex to sneak up on it.)

Still we know that T-Rex was willing to bite at the horns and frill of its enemy, as one Triceratops skeleton has Tyrannosaur bite marks on its frill that have healed, and one the Triceratops’ horns has also been bitten in half by the Tyrannosaur too. In addition to this horn marks from Triceratops that have healed have been found on Tyrannosaur skeletons too.

Triceratops has often been depicted battling other large predators such as Allosaurus and Ceratosaurus in popular culture too, though neither of these animals lived beside it.

Among Triceratops’ most notable film appearances include The Ghost of Slumber Mountain. Possibly the first ever Dinosaur film, with the effects (and story) supplied by Will O’Brien, Triceratops would later go on to appear in his 1925 version of The Lost World as well.

Triceratops also appeared in Ray Harryhausen’s iconic film One Million Years BC, where for once it is shown to triumph over its large meat eating rival, in this case a Ceratosaurus, that it gores to death. This fight sequence was arguably Harryhausens most famous moment, alongside his legendary Skeleton fight, and would go on to appear in numerous Documentary’s over the years as an example of how Tyrannosaurus and Triceratops may have fought one another.

A baby Triceratops named Cera also appeared as one of the main characters in the iconic Land Before Time series, whilst the animal also made a memorable appearance in the first Jurassic Park movie where it prompted the creation of one of Jeff Goldblum’s most notorious memes.

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Jeff Goldblum has to have inspired more memes than any other actor from this film alone. Practically every line out of his mouth in the original Jurassic Park has become a meme.

Triceratops would also go on to appear in all of the sequels too, with its largest role being in The Lost World Jurassic Park.

Sadly however its never been shown on screen with its real life nemesis Tyrannosaurus Rex in the Jurassic Park movies yet.

5/ Giganotosaurus

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Name Meaning: Giant Southern Lizard

Size: 45 feet long, 13 tons

Diet: Sauropods, Iguanodon

Fossil Range: Early to Mid Cretaceous

Giganotosaurus was an Allosaur, and believed to be one of the biggest meat eating Dinosaurs of all time.

Giganotosaurus broke Tyrannosaurus’ record as the largest land based predator that it had held for over 90 years, but Giganotosaurus was only slightly larger than T-Rex however, and though since its discovery then Spinosaurus, which is a good bit bigger than both has now taken the title for the worlds largest meat eating Dinosaur.

Giganotosaurus was the apex predator in its region. Having a bite impact of over 6 tons, and being able to run at over 30 miles per hour, it was a surprisingly nimble creature, considering its size.

Giganotosaurus would have preyed on Argentinosaurus, possibly among the largest land animals of all time, though smaller herbivores such as Iguanodon would have probably been more frequent targets. There is some evidence that Giganotosaurus and other Allosaurs may have lived together in herds which would have helped them bring down the biggest prey, but this is not conclusive.

In Popular Culture

Giganotosaurus quickly made a huge impression as the Dinosaur bigger than T-Rex and has appeared in many films and television series, though its place as the biggest meat eater of all time was quickly usurped by Spinosaurus in 2006.

Still Giganotosaurus has made a few noteworthy appearances in popular culture over the years. In The Land Before Time 5, The Mysterious Island, Giganotosaurus appears as the main antagonist, where it is eventually defeated by the heroic Tyrannosaur, Chompers father.

Giganotosaurus also appeared in Primeval, where it was dubbed “G-Rex”. This episode is definitely one of my favourites. The G-Rex looks absolutely spectacular and the script manages to demonstrate both the Dinosaurs speed and strength perfectly.

Giganotosaurus also appears in the video game ARK. Here it is actually depicted as being considerably larger than both Tyrannosaurus and Spinosaurus.

4/ Deinonychus

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Name Meaning: Terrible Claw

Size: 12 feet long

Diet: Small Mammals, and Dinosaurs

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

Deinonychus was a medium sized Dromeosaur. Once believed to have been a pack hunter, capable of taking down giant Dinosaurs such as Tenontosaurus, many experts now think Deinonychus was a more solitary killer.

It was still a vicious predator with powerful jaws, incredible speed and large claws on its hands and feet. Like many other Dromeosaurs, Deinonychus had a massive sickle like claw on its foot, whilst it had a bite force of over 1 ton, stronger than any Mammalian carnivore.

Much like Velociraptor it is believed that Deininonychus would have killed its victims by scaling tall trees, and then gliding down onto its preys backs, where its claws would hold them down, whilst it literally ate them alive with its jaws. It would also have used its sickle like claw to pierce its victims necks.

Deinonychus is one of the most important Dinosaurs in the history of Palaeontology. John Ostrom’s extensive study of the Dinosaur in the 1960s led to what has been dubbed the Dinosaur renaissance in the 1970s.

Ostrom concluded that some Dinosaurs were warm blooded, agile, fast and intelligent creatures. He also revived the old argument that birds evolved from small meat eating Dinosaurs.

Ostrom’s ideas were controversial at first, but they have now become accepted. Prior to Ostrom’s studies of Deinonychus, Dinosaurs were thought of as slow moving, slow witted, sluggish reptiles, but Deinonychus paved the way for the depiction of clever, fast moving, Dinosaurs in both science and popular culture.

In Popular Culture

Following the Dinosaur Renaissance, Deinonychus would go on to become quite popular for many years before ultimately being usurped by Velociraptor.

It featured in works such as the card series Dinosaur Attack, the Marvel comic book Devil Dinosaur, and the Christopher Reeve documentary, Dinosaur.

Michael Crichton also intended to use Deinonychus in his classic novel, Jurassic Park as the main predatory Dinosaur. However at the last minute he decided to change it to Velociraptor, as he felt it had a better name, and at that point Deinonychus was believed to be a member of the Velociraptor family (which is explicitly stated in the novel, which technically does make the Dinosaurs of the novel Deinonychus anyway.)

However in the film adaptation they were just named Velociraptor, (despite being closer in size and behaviour to Deinonychus. )

Thus Velociraptor shot to fame, but in actual fact the classic Raptor image in films, television and comic books is really of Deinonychus.

Still most Raptors are often referred to as Velociraptors, and Utahraptors instead.

3/ Allosaurus

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Name Meaning: Odd Lizard

Size: 35 feet long, 3 tons

Diet: Sauropods, Stegosaurs, Pterosaurs, Smaller Dinosaurs and Mammals.

Fossil Range: Mid to Late Jurassic

The lion of the Jurassic. Allosaurus was a large, very fast and successful predator that was capable of killing herbivores many times its own size.

Allosaurus may have been able to run at speeds of 35 miles per hour. It could also jump over 2 meters in the air, and had massive claws on its hands which it could use to grab onto its prey.

When hunting large Sauropods, Allosaurus would have jumped through the air and scaled its victims using the claws on its hands and feet, as seen here in Walking with Dinosaurs.

Allosaurus was an incredibly durable animal too, with one specimen of a male sub adult Allosaurus having 19 severe injuries almost all of which had healed.

Allosaurus did not have strong jaws however. In fact its bite force was weaker than that of many modern day predators such as Leopards.

Instead it is believed that Allosaurus used its head like a hatchet against its enemies. Allosaurus could open its jaws wider than any other Dinosaur, and its skull was among the strongest and most reinforced of any theropod too.

This method would have allowed Allosaurus to cleave off greater sections of flesh from its prey than most other theropods.

Some experts however have called the hatchet method into question however. A recent study how shown that Allosaurus may have opened its mouth extra wide to give it a powerful bite, in place of strong jaw muscles.

Whatever the truth, Allosaurus was both a powerful and effective predator either way that specialised in taking down some of the largest creatures ever to walk the earth.

In Popular Culture

Allosaurus is one of the most famous Dinosaurs. Though not quite as popular as Tyrannosaurus, in many ways it has come to represent the quintessential giant meat eater after T-Rex, even above much larger killers such as Spinosaurus and Giganotosaurus.

Allosaurus appeared as the dominant carnivore in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s novel The Lost World, and the later 1925 adaptation. Though a Tyrannosaurus also appears in the 1925 version, it is only in a single sequence.

Allosaurus also appeared as the main (and sole) Dinosaur in The Beast From Hollow Mountain, a rare fusion of the Western and Dinosaur genres.

Beast From Hollow Mountain’s effects were supplied by Willis O’Brien who also supplied the effects for King Kong and the original 1925 version of The Lost World. O’Brien also came up with the concept too.

The later Dinosaur Western, The Valley of the Gwangi, also featured an Allosaurus as the titular Dinosaur, though actually according to Ray Harryhausen, who supplied the films effects, Gwangi was intended to be a hybrid of Tyrannosaurus and Allosaurus which he dubbed “Tyrannosaurus Al.”

Allosaurus also appeared in One Million Years BC where it is shown to attack a tribe of Cavemen. Here it is made much smaller and weaker than an actual Allosaurus as Ray Harryhausen himself said that a real Allosaurus would have destroyed the village with no effort.

I know the uploader got it wrong and called it a Velociraptor, but its an Allosaurus.

A female Allosaurus named Big Alice also appears as a major, recurring antagonist in the 1970s tv series, The Land of the Lost.

Finally another major appearance of Allosaurus is in Walking with Dinosaurs. Not only does it appear in the second episode, but it is also the focus of the Christmas special called The Ballad of Big Al which details the life of a young male Allosaurus.

Allosaurus also appeared in the 2001 adaptation of The Lost World, made my the same team behind Walking with Dinosaurs and later Primeval.

Interestingly enough despite Allosaurus’ popularity, it wasn’t until the 5th entry in the Jurassic Park series that Allosaurus finally made an appearance.

2/ Spinosaurus

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Name Meaning: Spine Lizard

Size: 59 feet long, 23 tons

Diet: Fish, Iguanodons, Large and Small Dinosaurs, Pterosaurs

Fossil Range: Early to Mid Cretaceous

The largest land based predator ever to live on the planet, Spinosaurus may actually have been semi aquatic and may also have walked on all fours. There is much that is still not known about this predator, with the causes of its famous sail still being a subject of debate, though most experts believe that Spinosaurus’s was used either to regulate body temperature or to attract a mate.

Spinosaurus had long thin jaws, and whilst its bite was stronger than any modern day predator, it was still weaker than many other large meat eating Dinosaurs. Still Spinosaurus had massive claws on its hands, bigger than the meat hooks in a slaughter house. Biomechanical reconstructions of Spinosaurus’ claws have shown that they would have been powerful enough to shred through solid bone and steel.

Spinosaurus would have easily been able to disembowel the largest herbivores it shared its habitat with. Despite this however many experts believe that Spinosaurus would have preyed primarily on marine life. Though some have knocked it as not being as impressive as other predators because of this, Spinosaurus would have regularly preyed on sharks and fish, larger and more powerful than modern day Great Whites.

Spinosaurus was an apex predator, but it is known that it shared its environment with two other massive carnivores, Carcharcodontosaurus and a massive crocodile named Sarcosuchus. Whilst all three carnivores would have most likely avoided each other most of the tim, there is some evidence that all three did fight one another on occasion.

In Popular Culture

Spinosaurus remained a relatively obscure Dinosaur for decades until it literally shot to fame overnight thanks to the 2001 movie Jurassic Park 3, where it was cast as the main antagonist. Though controversial, the movie helped Spinosaurus take Giganotosaurus’ place as the meat eating Dinosaur bigger than the T-Rex. This position was really cemented when its true size was finally discovered in 2006.

Since then Spinosaurus has gone on to appear in numerous, films, comic books and television series including Dinosaur Planet, ARK, the Transformers film series and Primeval.

Its not hard to see why Spinosaurus has become so popular. Not only is it officially the biggest of all meat eating Dinosaurs, but its also among the most spectacular looking too. With its crocodile like head, and massive sail, its almost looks like a Dragon from Medeval mythology.

1/ Tyrannosaurus Rex

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Name Meaning: Tyrant Lizard King

Size: 40 feet long, 10 tons

Diet: Hadrosaurs, Ceratopsians, Sauropods, Anklyosaurs

Fossil Range: Late Cretaceous

Okay obvious choice, but that’s only because it’s such a special animal.

Tyrannosaurus Rex had the strongest bite force of possibly any animal ever to live on the planet, and certainly the strongest of any Dinosaur.

Bio mechanical reconstructions of a T-Rex skull for the 2005 documentary The Truth About Killer Dinosaurs, showed that the animal would have had a bite force of over 4 tons. Not only is this greater than any animal alive today, but it would have meant that T-Rex’s skeleton would had to have been stronger than reinforced steel in order to withstand the pressure, the animal would easily have been able to rip up a small car in its jaws no problem.

See here.

Further studies however, including by Gregory Erickson who worked on this documentary, have shown that it’s results were wrong. Tyrannosaurus would have actually had a bite over twice as strong as The Truth About Killer Dinosaurs claimed. T-Rex’s actual bite force was possibly over 9 tons.

Other studies by Mason B Meers however put Tyrannosaurus Rex’s bite force at over 23 tons.

If this were true, then T-Rex would have had the strongest bite force of any animal, even greater than the Megalodon shark. A bite of 23 tons would also give Tyrannosaurus a bite force 4 times great than that of Giganotosaurus and almost 8 times greater than that of Spinosaurus.

At the very least it is believed that Tyrannosaurus had a bite force of over 9 tons which still gives it a stronger bite than any other meat eating Dinosaur.

In addition to being able to bite with more force, Tyrannosaurus could rip off over 500 pounds of flesh from its victims in just one bite. Tyrannosaurus’ bite may also have been infectious too.

Tyrannosaurus was also an incredibly durable animal overall. Many Tyrannosaur skeletons have been found with gruesome injuries, which would have been fatal to other animals, that have nevertheless healed. These include whacks made by Anklyosaur clubs (that could swing with a force of over 4 tons), scratches made by Triceratops horns, and bite marks made by other T-Rex’s. In one instance one Tyrannosaurus skull has a bite mark made in its brain case which has still nevertheless healed, whilst another specimen appears to have healed from a broken neck!

Tyrannosaurus was also a very intelligent Dinosaur too. Its brain was considerably larger than any other big meat eater, and more recent studies have shown that Tyrannosaurus may actually have been more intelligent than a Chimpanzee.

Tyrannosaurus’ advanced intelligence enabled it to have far more refined senses too. Its eye sight was far superior to modern day birds of prey such as Eagles. Its sense of smell according to Bob Bakker would have been comparable to 100 blood hounds.

Finally Tyrannosaurus could also run faster than most of its intended prey species such as Triceratops. Its top speed was at roughly 25 miles per hour. Though slower than other large carnivores such as Giganotosaurus and Allosaurus, it was faster than other large animals, including modern day elephants.

Tyrannosaurus Rex was the last and largest in a long line of meat eating Dinosaurs called the Tyrannosaurs. The Tyrannosaurs initially began as small meat eating Dinosaurs in the Jurassic, but gradually over the course of several million years they evolved into giant killers, and out competed other groups of large meat eating Dinosaurs in any area they appeared in. By the end of the Cretaceous period the Tyrannosaurs were unquestionably the dominant large meat eaters, but sadly they would be driven to extinction along with all of the other non avian Dinosaurs at the end of the Cretaceous period 65 million years ago.

Still its somewhat fitting that at the very end of their reign over the earth, the Dinosaurs evolved the most sophisticated and dangerous predator ever to walk the earth.

Whilst it may no longer be considered the largest land based predator of all time,  Tyrannosaurus Rex is still utterly unsurpassed among the giant killers in terms of intelligence and sheer power.

In Popular Culture

Where to begin! Tyrannosaurus Rex is the most famous Dinosaur of them all. It has appeared in The Lost World (1925), King Kong, Dinosaurus, The Valley of the Gwangi, all versions of The Land of the Lost, Jurassic Park, The Lost World Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Walking with Dinosaurs, and Primeval.

It would take too long to run through all of the big guys appearances on the small and big screen, so I’ll just show you some of his greatest hits here.

Thanks for reading.

Hypocrisy From The Mary Sue In Regards To Buffy and Doctor Who

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I know I said I wasn’t going to do any more articles about the decline of Doctor Who, but I couldn’t resist after reading this article. This will hopefully be a one off.

Recently it was announced that Joss Whedon will be remaking his iconic series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with a black lead.

Now I have mixed feelings about this. Buffy is in my opinion one of the absolute greatest television series ever made. Also its no secret that I dislike identity politics being dragged into franchises.

Obviously I have 0 problems with female, LGBT or black leads (I would hardly like Buffy of all shows if I did.) Identity politics is not just simply having non white or non straight leads. It usually involves race baiting in the both the promotional material, and in the work itself, insulting the white characters and viewers,  and not giving LGBT and black characters any kind of personality, other than being black and LGBT.

Considering Joss Whedon’s recent association with charlatans like Anita Sarkeesian it sadly seems as though this version of Buffy is going to be more along the lines of the recent ghastly Supergirl series than the original ground breaking show.

Personally I think it would have been better if Joss Whedon had just adapted his comic book mini series Fray, for television. Fray for those of you who don’t know is about another Slayer 200 years in the future. Vampires are public knowledge (though most people tend to think of them as mutants called lurks.)

Fray has an unusual setting for a Vampire and indeed a supernatural story in general, of the far future with mutants, hover cars, laser guns and space ships.

Fray is also a very interesting character in her own right. She’s a grittier, more level headed, practical character who is not afraid to murder people as well as Vampires.

Dana Delorezno (best known for playing Kelly in Ash Vs Evil Dead) would be absolutely perfect in the role. She’d be as iconic as that character in my opinion as Sarah Michelle Gellar was as the Buffster herself!

Still at any rate what really interested me about this story was a recent article by the hard lined feminist website, The Mary Sue.

I don’t follow this website normally but a friend of mine posted a link to this article to a site that I do frequent, The Hive.

The Mary Sue: I Don’t Want A Black Buffy

The author argues that a black Buffy is not a good idea. They claim that black people should be given their own heroes, rather than just remakes of white heroes. They also argue that even within the Buffyverse, we don’t need to make Buffy black. We could easily have a spin off with a black Slayer.

Perfectly reasonable points of course, the only problem is when it was time to turn the Doctor, a previously established MALE hero into a woman, the Mary Sue had the opposite attitude and furthermore slandered anyone opposed to the idea of a female Doctor as a sexist.

Sexist Doctor Who Fans React To Jodie’s Casting

Funny thing is I have used their arguments against a black Buffy, against a female Doctor in the past. Okay I’ve used many arguments against a female Doctor, but still among them have been that if you want to create a really strong role for women, surely its better to create a new character than hijack one that has been a male for 50 years, and will always be seen as male in popular culture?

I also have regularly said that I would LOVE to see a Romana spin off. Romana was an already established Time Lady character in Classic Who. We could have easily had her return to the series, be made popular with viewers, and then get her own show.

I ran through a massive list of actresses that would make great Romana’s including Dawn Steele and Katie McGrath, and I even ran through how the Romana series could be distinct from Doctor Who.

Yet apparently I am a sexist cretin according to the Mary Sue? How? If black people shouldn’t just be given hand me downs of existing white characters like Buffy, then shouldn’t women not be given existing hand me downs of male heroes like the Doctor? (And don’t give me that bullshit of “the Doctor was never a male character” or “time lords could always change gender” because we both know that neither of those things were true until the SJWs got their way with the show by bullying Steven Moffat.)

There are only two possibilities here to explain the Mary Sue taking the opposite position with a black Buffy from with a female Doctor Who . 1/ They think that women ironically don’t deserve their own heroes, unlike black people and men, so its okay to give women the 14th version of a male hero, but NOT okay for black people to be given the second version of a white hero. 2/ That they are anti men bigots who simply wanted the Doctor to be a woman to upset the male fans who looked up to him.

What other reason can there be? Don’t make Buffy black, because black people deserve their own heroes, but make the Doctor an existing male character a woman because, what hand me downs of existing characters are empowering when they are for women?

Just to be clear I am not targeting the writer of the article about a black Buffy specifically. I have no idea who they are, they may be a fair and decent person, this is just directed at the Mary Sue who chose to publish both articles, showing that they agree with both points.

Ironically I agree somewhat with the Mary Sue on why a black Buffy isn’t the best idea. Whilst I don’t think representation matters, if you do want black people, or any group to have a hero for them, then come up with a new hero for them.

A character like the Doctor, or Buffy entered popular culture as a certain thing, a man, a white woman etc, and so they will always be seen as that. The Doctor despite their best efforts will always be a male hero to most people, similarly Sherlock Holmes will always bee seen as a man because most versions have been men, and the most famous versions have been men. The same applies in reverse too of course. Xena will always be seen as a woman in popular culture, and Buffy will always be seen as a little blonde haired teenage girl.

However since the Mary Sue dismissed everyone with a valid complaint against a female Doctor then I’ll give them the same treatment in regards to their complaints against a black Buffy.

“Anyone who is opposed to a black Buffy is clearly a racist. The Mary Sue are white supremacists wanting Buffy to remain a blonde haired Aryan icon. Black people exist you know, and its high time that they were represented on the small screen. Since when did Buffy need a white skin pigmentation to save the day? What possible characteristics are there that Buffy has that a black woman doesn’t? Clearly The Mary Sue are racists stuck in the past. The good old white days are over. Its time!

There see how unreasonable you are now? Maybe you can get an idea of why fandoms tend to hate feminists?

How Rick From The Young Ones Predicted Social Justice Warriors

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The Young Ones was one of the greatest British sitcoms of all time. Though only lasting two short series of 6 episodes, it helped launch the careers of Ade Edmondson and Rik Mayall, one of Britain’s most beloved comedy double acts, and inspired generations of British comedians with its unique mix of physical, political, surrealist, and anarchic humour.

Whilst the show still has a very loyal following around the world, a few contemporary critics have accused The Young Ones of being somewhat dated, as many of the jokes in the series were topical. Ironically however I feel that if anything the Young Ones is more relevant now than it was in the 1980s.

The character of Rick, played by Rik Mayall (who also co-created and co-wrote the series) is the perfect representation for the modern Social Justice Warrior, or third wave feminist, or regressive leftist.

Rik Mayall was not right wing himself. In fact after The Young Ones, one of his biggest successes was The New Statesman, which marvellously skewered the Tory government. (Much like the Young Ones, though written about topical events at the time, sadly many of the jokes are still just as applicable today about the current Tory government.)

Rik Mayall was politically very left wing in many ways, but like a lot of people he could see that the left in general was being overtaken by tribalism and worst of all chancers and posers looking to make a name (and some money!) For themselves.

In my opinion there has been no greater satire of the regressive left than Rick and in this article we are going to explore how he captured their neurosis, hypocrisy and insincerity perfectly.

1/ He claims to be a Marxist, Socialist, and Communist without knowing anything about those ideologies

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The character of Rick identified as a communist, a Leninist and an anarchist. Of course he knew next to nothing about any of those ideologies (for one thing Lenin absolutely despised anarchism.) Rick is in fact shown specifically to have fallen asleep in one episode whilst reading Das Kapital.

Rick also appears to be somewhat conservative at heart. Despite constantly going on about hating Thatcher, he says in the final episode that she “bloody well got the country back on its feet”.

Many on the regressive left, including Antifa will identify as communists, socialists and even anarchists without really having any understanding of those ideologies.

They will praise the likes of Fidel Castro, Vladamir Lenin, even in some cases Joseph Stalin without any knowledge of the horrors these men inflicted on their people.

Nearly 20 percent of Millennials Think Stalin Was A Hero

Whenever you see a millennial “communist” arguing with a right winger like Sargon of Akkad, they will almost always be stumped when asked to justify the horrors of communism or even just explain what the ideology actually is.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I am NOT a right winger like Sargon. In some ways I think that Sargon is as wrong as the leftists he argues with.

Sargon in my opinion is as tribal about capitalism as the leftists are about communism. Sargon’s attempts to justify the horrors carried out by capitalism from the Vietnam war to the Iraq war, to the depression, to the first world war, to the Libyan crisis are exactly the same as the “communists” defence of the horrors carried out by communism “they just weren’t doing it right.”

Sargon is also willing to look the other way when it comes to fascists who support his ideology like Agusto Pinochet and Joseph McCarthy just like Antifa do for monsters like Stalin.

Personally I do support a number of socialist ideals such as the NHS, the welfare state and re-nationalised railways and gas and electricity, but I do not believe in handing over all power to the government. Independent companies who manufacture their own product should still be allowed to own it, and the media should remain independent.

I think unchecked capitalism and socialism lead to problems. Socialism will hand over too much power to the government leading to fascism, but capitalism does lead to corprotism. Sadly however neither side will admit their chosen ideology has any problems and so we’re locked in an endless cycle of whataboutism.

Still at the very least Sargon and others like him do have a basic understanding of the ideology they claim to support, where as I find a lot of these modern SJWs literally don’t even know anything about communism, or socialism or anarchism.

Basically its cooler and more trendy to be left wing, so they adopt the label of communist for their image.

Take for instance Caitlin Moran, a lefty journalist who identifies as a Marxist. Moran is a massive fan of Hillary Clinton.

Clinton was one of the most crooked, right wing, hawkish politicians in the entire history of US politics (and that’s saying a lot.) Clinton voted in favour of the Iraq war, and for a war in Iran in 2005 (which even the most crooked war hawks in the Republican party were opposed too. Imagine how disasterous a war between the USA led by George W Bush and Iran would have been.)

Then there is the fact that Clinton played a key role in the Libyan crisis and the coup in Honduras, both of which destabilised those countries and plunged them into anarchy.  In the Libyan crisis’ case Clinton’s interference also led to the rise of ISIS and the current refugee crisis.

Hillary Clinton’s Huge Libya Disaster

Africans Are Being Sold At Libyan Slave Markets

The Clinton foundation has also made a career out of robbing the poor and corporate fraud on a truly unprecedented scale.

How The Clinton Foundation Stole From The Poor

The idea that anyone on the left could support this woman is truly laughable.

What actual Socialists think of this war hawk.

Wading Through The Hillary Clinton Book

What a poser who clearly doesn’t actually know anything about Clinton, but likes her for superficial reasons thinks of her.

You can see how based on this, Moran’s left wing politics are as superficial as can be just like Ricks. She is clearly happy to overlook the fact that Clinton is a war monger, a wall street shill, and takes money from Saudi Arabia, a country that treats women as less than fully human, all because it suits her narcissistic desire to see herself represented.

2/ He’s a soft, scared, middle class, privileged brat

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The character of Rick loved to paint himself as a hard, working class, revolutionary. A catchphrase of his was “I’m so street and hard and cool”.

The great irony was that Rick came from a very well off family, had never done a day’s work in his life, was a total physical coward, and would probably own a publishing company by the age of 26 that his parents bought for him.

Rick was also shown to be a bully to Neil, the most vulnerable and defenceless member of the house, who he would push around and demean at every opportunity simply because it made him feel big.

The same is true of many of the regressive left. A good proportion of Antifa are upper middle class kids who want to look hard, so they’ll attack single protesters, or speakers in large groups with baseball bats, or pepper spray women in the eyes!

Whenever they are faced with an actual confrontation however, many regressive leftists tend to fold rather quickly.

This video from Sargon does a brilliant job of breaking down how many SJWs are attracted to the movement more because it gives them a chance to shove others around and look big, just like Rick.

You only have to look at a lot of the targets these regressive lefties go after to see what cowards they are.

SJWs tend to either invent battles, or go after fights that have already been won. The gender wage gap for instance is a prime example of this. The gender wage gap does exist, but not for the reasons that feminists make out. It is illegal to pay women less for the same work as men, women end up making less than men because they have to take more time off to have children, or go into professions that pay less.

See here. The Gender Wage Gap And 5 Other Feminist Myths

Feminists however still insist on rallying against this because its an easy target. Similarly feminists go after the science fiction and fantasy genres because they are an easy target too.

Sci fi and fantasy, historically have always been among the most progressive genres. They have broken new ground in terms of representation in television series and films and comic books with things like Star Trek, Wonder Woman and the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Why Star Trek Was So Important To MLK JR

The Transcendental Effect Of The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Yet despite all of this, these are the genres that SJWs target more than any other? That’s simply because they are easy to bully. Sci fi and fantasy are looked down on by the mainstream media, even with the geek chic culture, people who take them too seriously (IE care about them in a non superficial way.) Are looked down on as sad nerds, losers and outcasts.

Not only will the media ALWAYS be on the side of the feminists against the sad, smelly basement dwellers, but many of the nerds themselves will not want to be seen as sad losers, so they will take the side of the feminists. Self loathing fanboyism is a terrible affliction that affects many franchises.

Feminists however will never go after genres that aren’t so easy to bully like say Westerns in quite the same way. Westerns in contrast to Sci Fi and Fantasy haven’t ever really given strong roles to women, black people or other minorities in quite the same way (of course that’s because of the time they are set in.)

Still the SJWs don’t target these genres? Not that I want them to of course, but hey why is it only Sci Fi they go after for supposedly having too many white, male heroes?

The reason for that is again because its harder to bully Westerns. Not only is the genre more respected, but Western fans, at least stereotypically are seen as big, rough, gun toting, good ol boys who are probably not going to be happy being told by some posh, privileged middle class woman like Claudia Boleyn or Anita Sarkeesian, that they can’t enjoy their Lee Van Cleef or Clint Eastwood films anymore because they promote “toxic masculinity.”

That’s probably the reaction they’d get, so it makes sense that they go after, nerdy, shy, guys with low self esteem who try and cover up being nerdy. (Only to fail miserably.)

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Nerds are to modern day SJWs what Neil was to Rick. The easy target they love pushing around to feel big.

3/ He throws words like racist, sexist, fascist and Nazi around at the drop of a hat

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The character of Rik regularly refers to just about any figure of authority from police men, to bus drivers, to receptionists as Nazis or fascists. He also desperately tries to get offended on behalf of women and minorities over the most trivial bullshit too.

RICK: Absolutely pathetic! There’s nothing on at all! Humph! Don’t know why we bother to pay our license!

MIKE: We don’t.

RICK: But, haven’t we got a license?

MIKE: No.

RICK: But that makes me a criminal! [thinks about it] Right on! Yeah, this will shake them up at the Anarchists Society! Occupying the refectories! So what? This is the real stuff! I’m a fugitive! A desperado! I’m going to form a new union society, right? With me as president! ‘People Who Don’t Pay Their TV Licenses Against the Nazis!‘ [takes out pad and pen and starts writing] This is only the beginning! 

The left nowadays of course will regularly refer to anyone who disagrees with them as racists, sexists, Nazis, fascists and bigots.

In fact those terms have sadly been somewhat been devalued as a result of the SJWs throwing them around so often. Nazi has just become another generic insult. Left leaning, liberal people like Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Maryam Namazie have been tarred as racists and sexists simply due to their criticisms of Islam and feminism.

Quite frankly its ridiculous to call even hard line right wingers like Sargon of Akkad, Paul Joseph Watson and Milo Yiannopoulis Nazis. The Nazis were a political spectrum on their own, completely separate from left or right. Neither thinking everything should be nationalised or privatised should lead you to thinking that entire sections of society should be exterminated.

Similarly having legitimate criticisms against ideologies like Islam and feminism doesn’t mean you are bigoted against one group of people, never mind want to exterminate them!

Sadly however just as with Rick, modern day leftists will still tar anyone they don’t like as a Nazi or a racist out of a combination of hysteria, and simply not having an argument, so they have to smear their opponents.

4/ He’s a letch behind closed doors

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Rick is a hard lined feminist who often screams at the other housemates for their supposedly sexist attitudes.

Ironically however in secret Rick is a pervert who has a stash of porn magazines and is later shown to grope Jennifer Saunders character (Helen Mucas) and look down her top whilst she sleeps.

It may be a cliche that male feminists are only doing it for sex, but sadly in recent years it certainly has proven to be the case with many high profile male feminists.

A recent and hilarious example was Chris Hardwick. Hardwick is your typical woke, male feminist geek who slanders anyone that doesn’t LOVE the new Ghostbusters movie, or the female Doctor Who as horrible, disgusting man baby sexists.

See for yourself.

Flash forward a few months however and guess who is the recipient of serious abuse allegations.

Chris Hardwick Abuse Allegations

Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and another famous male feminist was also recently accused by his own wife, Kai Cole of cheating on her for a period of 15 years.

It is hilarious in hindsight when you think back to Joss Whedon slandering other nerds and geeks and film makers as sexists, such as when he called the director of Jurassic World a sexist, or when he also smeared those who were unhappy at a female Doctor Who as sexists, or when he compared Gamer Gators to the KKK! The entire time he was showing the one woman who supposedly mattered the most to him, no respect whatsoever.

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I’m All For Progress

Joss Whedon is a hypocrite preaching feminist ideals

Joss Whedon’s wife accuses him of feminist hypocrisy

In addition to this many prominent anti gamer gators have similarly been revealed to be harassers themselves.

There are many other notable examples, but still you can definitely see a pattern emerging here.

A lot of these men use their position to get close to women and make themselves untouchable, but I feel there is also perhaps a genuine sense of guilt in their actions. They think (incorrectly of course) that by white knighting for women like Anita Sarkeesian they can perhaps make up for the appalling way they treat the other women in their life.

5/ The AWFUL Poetry

The character of Rick was an aspiring poet who used to refer to himself as “The People’s Poet”. All of his poems that were meant to be about topical issues that were affecting “the kids”, but they ended up being insular, narcisstic, self indulgent pieces about his own petty little problems.

The character skewered the emerging punk poet scene at the time, but in the decades since he has become just as valid a parody of the emerging feminist poetry scene, which is similarly often hysterical, self indulgent and focused only on the problems of privileged middle class teenagers like mansplaining, or someone being rude to them on twitter.

See for yourself how there is really little difference between Rick’s poetry and modern feminists.

I actually think Rik’s were better.

6/ He is a tantrum throwing child

Whenever Rik didn’t get his way he would scream and shout and stamp his foot like a little child. Mayall would even say that The Young Ones were conceived as a family, with Mike as the father, Neil as the put upon mother, and Rik and Vyv as the squabbling children.

Rik’s childishness was further proof of his privileged upbringing. He was used to ALWAYS getting his way from his rich parents and couldn’t take it out in the real world.

The same is of course true of many SJWs and feminists who similarly are spoiled brats used to always getting their on way from their parents, so when that doesn’t happen they’ll scream and throw Rick style tantrums in public.

7/ He wants to censor violent forms of entertainment

In the episode Flood, Rick tells Vyvian that he hates violent comic books, because all the characters do is fight all the time. Naturally Vyvian ridicules his argument.

Here is the exchange.

Rick: And what is it you’re reading, Vyvyan? A bit of Pretarkian verse, is it? Little bit of French drama? 

Vyvyan: It’s called, ‘SS Death Camp Criminal Battalion go to Monte Casino for the Massacre’. 

Rick: [snatching comic] That’s MY bloody comic! 

Vyvyan: Give it back!

Rick: No, Vyvyan! It’s mine! [sits down and reads] Anyway, there’s no point in reading comics, they’re stupid! They treat the kids is if they we’re…well, as if they were, you know, kids! Nothing but war in them! War! War! Bloody war! Why can’t they have stories about love and peace? 

Vyvyan: Because it’s sissy, you girly!

Rick: I’m not being girly, Vyvyan. Longing for a peaceful world is not being girly. 

Vyvyan: It is! It’s being soppy and very very girly! 

Rick: I AM NOT BEING G…Look, this entire discussion is completely sexist anyway and I don’t intend to continue it! [pause] But, for your information, it is not soppy of me to long for a world where a man will love his brother. 

Vyvyan: Poof! 

Rick: You’re deliberately trying to provoke me, aren’t you? 

Vyvyan: Yeah! 

Rick: For one man to love another, Vyvyan, is not poofy. It’s actually very beautiful. It’s only when they start touching each others bottoms that it gets poofy. 

Vyvyan: I’m going to tell Mike and Neil that you said you love men. Hey, Mike...

Rick: Look, all I said was this comic is a reactionary militaristic pamphlet! All they ever do is fight all the time! 

Vyvyan: And what’s so wrong with that? I suppose you think we should all go around touching each others bottoms! ‘Dan Dare touches The Mekon’s bottom!’ ‘Exciting new story: Batman gooses the Joker’s crack!’ 

Rick: Alright! Alright! Alright! What’s this? [makes weird hippie body movement] 

Vyvyan: Being poofy! 

Rick: No, that’s peace! What’s this? [places his bottom in VYVYAN’s face] That’s my bottom, isn’t it? They’re two completely different things!

This is pretty much EXACTLY what modern day SJWs like Jonathan McIntosh say about video games, comic books and tv shows that are too violent.

He argues that they encourage the children who enjoy them to be violent, he also argues that heroes like Spider-Man and Batman are reactionary and reinforce both white supremacy and toxic masculinity.

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Of course any time a franchise panders to these types of people (which is fairly often) then it ends up becoming exactly how Vyvyan described.

Take a look at Doctor Who. Okay old ground for me, but its true. Doctor Who began to pander to SJWs from about 2014 onwards. They launched a vicious smear campaign against Steven Moffat, the then producer of Doctor Who. They slandered him as a sexist, homophobic, racist until he started to pander to them in various ways (which by sheer coincidence I’m sure coincided with a massive drop in Doctor Who’s viewing figures.)

At any rate as soon as the show started to pander to these people then the Doctor went from a swash buckling, dashing hero, into a sissy hating himself because he is a man (well at that point).

These two quotes sum it all up.

Pre SJW Doctor

CLAIRE: What are you doing, John? 
ANDREWS: I’m going to trash this fellow within an inch of his life! 
(Jo takes the Doctor’s jacket.)
ANDREWS: Still sticking to that stupid story? 
DOCTOR: I’m afraid so, old chap. 
ANDREWS: You’ll regret it, sir. I think I ought to warn you, I used to box for my school. 
DOCTOR: And I think I ought to warn you that I took lessons from John L Sullivan himself. 
DALY: By Jiminy, the old fellow’s got some pluck. 
DOCTOR: Queensbury rules?
ANDREWS: Naturally. 

This is John L Sullivan by the way. Badass of the Week: John L Sullivan

SJW Doctor

CYBER-BILL: Stand aside.
DOCTOR: Do as she says.
CYBER-BILL: Stand aside.
MASTER: Do as she says. Is the future going to be all girl?
DOCTOR: We can only hope. 

You can see how much as Rick wanted to make the violent comics Vyvyan loved toothless, the same thing has basically happened to Doctor Who.

Look at the characters relationships with his archenemies. In the original Doctor Who series, the Doctor regularly tried to kill his archenemies the Master and Davros, but in the post SJW era of the revival he is in love with the Master (who has now become a woman, called Missy, in a further effort to pander to feminists by setting a precedent for a female Doctor) and he also got all weepy with Davros in a recent two part story.

See for yourself.

Pre SJW Doctor Who

All they ever do is fight all the time. War, war, bloody war! Why can’t they have stories about love and peace.

SJW Who

And what’s so wrong with that? I suppose you think we should all go around touching each others bottoms! ‘Dan Dare touches The Mekon’s bottom!’ ‘Exciting new story: Batman gooses the Joker’s crack!’ 

8/ They are desperate to be seen as weird and edgy

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Rick constantly tries to show off how “nutty”, and eccentric he is to impress everyone around him. Sadly however since he has virtually no personality then his attempts to be edgy are always pedestrian and cringey.

RICK: Oh, hello! [runs over] Pleased to meet you! Sorry, so many essays to write! [laughs, snorts] I’m surprised my arms aren’t falling off! Perhaps they are, look out, bonk! [flails his arms wildly] You’ll have to watch out for me because I’m a bit nutty. Aren’t I, everybody?! A bit nutty?

[sticks out his tongue and blows a raspberry]

RICK: Last night, right, we were all watching the television, and it was a programme
we wanted to watch, you know, and then we were just watching it, and right in the middle of it, I just got up and turned it off. Mad!
I don’t care what I do, you know. Unless it’s work or something. You know, last Wednesday we stayed up until one o’clock in the morning!

MIKE: Why are you smashing up saucers, Rick? Your prints on ’em? 

RICK: I suppose you think it’s pretty weird, don’t you Mike? Well. You’d be right. ‘Cause THAT’S the kind of guy I am, right? WEIRD. Which is why I go over people’s heads! A bit like an aeroplane! You think I’m an aeroplane, don’t you, Mike? Well, I’m not.

MIKE: I don’t think you’re an aeroplane, Rick.

RICK: Sycophant!

Many modern day SJWs similarly want to appear edgy in mundane or boring ways like dying their hair pink, growing arm pit hair if they are women or saying that they love Satan.

Jump to 5 minutes 26 seconds in to see what is essentially a woman acting exactly like Rick trying to be edgy by declaring that she has armpit hair to the rest of the world.

9/ He claims that he is an anarchist, yet always goes to authority whenever anything goes wrong

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Rick always goes on about how anti establishment he is,  and how the police are fascists and pigs. Yet at the first sign of trouble he will instantly go to the police or any figure of authority.

Neil: Oh well. well, we’ll all probably get drowned or eaten by octopuses, then.
Rick: WHAT? Phone the police!
Neil: But they’re fascists!
Rick: Well, never mind about that now! Telephone, Vyvyan!

RICK: It’s stealing, Vyvyan! It’s common stealing! And if you ever touch it again, EVER, I’m going to the police. I really will! I will go to the police!

VYVYAN: Why aren’t you dead?

RICK: I’m not prepared to discuss it with you, Vyvyan. You will be hearing from my solicitors in the morning. I’m going to write to my MP.

[takes out paper and pencil]

NEIL: You haven’t got an MP, Rick. You’re an anarchist.

RICK: Oh. Well, then I shall write to the lead singer of Echo and the Bunnymen!

The same is true of many modern day feminists and social justice warriors who despite being communists, anarchists and anti establishment, will still instantly go to someone they disagree with’s employer to get them fired, or go to the police to get them arrested! I’m not joking.

See here.

Once again this ties rather nicely into the fact that Rick and others like him are such spoiled brats, always used to getting someone else to fix things for them.

10/ His hatred of Thatcher is based on nothing

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Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that there weren’t plenty of reasons to hate Thatcher.

In my opinion its a toss up between Thatcher and Tony Blair for who is the worst post war Prime Minister of all time.

Still Rick is shown to not really have a reason to hate Thatcher, simply because he is completely A political. Its all about image with him, so he simply hates Thatcher to fit in.

We see a similar set up with feminists and Donald Trump today. Once again there are many reasons one would hate the Donald, but certainly a good portion of these virtue signalling feminists and SJWs only hate him because its trendy.

The most recent Trump protest was perhaps the finest example of this. So many more feminists came to protest Trump visiting than when the Prince of Saudi Arabia came to visit the UK earlier this year.

Now I’m sure that some of the same people who did protest Trump’s visit also protested that for the Prince of Saudi Arabia, but the overwhelming majority did not.

Over 4 times as many people came to protest Trump than the Prince of Saudi Arabia. To me this showed how the Trump protest wasn’t about standing up for women’s rights, as ultimately these people don’t mind when someone who is the head of country that treats women as less than fully human turns up. The Prince of Saudi Arabia is simply not as trendy to hate as Trump, so the posers don’t bother to protest him.

Conclusion

As you can see Rick’s successors have sadly turned left wing politics into a joke. Its time that people who cared about genuine left wing ideals did all they could to separate themselves from the Rick’s of this world.

Its a shame in contrast to Mayall, who called out those on both the left and the right, modern, “edgy” comedians like Frankie Boyle are utterly terrified of saying anything against those on the left. They know their place. Whilst SJW is an ironic term, many of them stupidly take it as a compliment, as they think its some racist or homophobe that hates social justice.

Comparing them to Rick in my opinion is much better.

Thanks for reading.

Coming Up On Burrunjorsramblesandbabbles

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Okay its an understatement to say that this has been a very hectic and troublesome year for me personally.

Throughout the first three months of this year I suffered a severe bout of depression, one of the worst I have ever experienced in my life.

Tragically my Uncle also passed away in June this year after a heart attack, and another close family member has been diagnosed with a serious illness.

Needless to say I haven’t had as much time to work on this blog, but now after possibly the worst 6 months of my entire life I am ready to resume my work here.

This article will cover what I am going to write about in the up coming months.

The History of N-Space

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About 2 years ago I wrote an article arguing that Classic Doctor Who and New Doctor Who did not take place in the same universe, but that Classic Who did take place in the same universe as various other fictional series and franchises.

I even wrote up a fictional history for them all together called the History of N-Space. However I felt it didn’t work at the time and so I deleted it.

However after the recent female Doctor debacle I have decided that as far as I’m concerned New Who and Classic Who are not canon to each other so this is essentially my head canon. Since according to people like Steven Moffat and Paul Cornell Doctor Who has no canon, then as far as I’m concerned The History of N-Space is as valid as New Who.

I’ve also had a few people telling me they miss the N-Space article, so I have decided to redo it, but hopefully in a much better way than before.

Obviously this means that the history of the Daleks articles which treats all of New Who and Classic Who as canon will not be continued. I won’t be deleting them as they are popular, but they are finished for now.

Don’t worry I won’t be writing anymore articles about how much I dislike the latest few seasons of New Who. I’ve pretty much said all I have to about that, so really there is no need to keep beating a dead horse. Also I hate being negative all the time, so the History of N-Space article will NOT be one bashing New Who in the slightest.

I actually think that splitting New Who and Classic Who into separate universes makes New Who far more enjoyable, as you can appreciate say David Tennant’s excellent performance, and scenes like Rose and the Doctor being on the beach without having to imagine him as being the same character as the older, more mature, asexual character from Classic Who.

The happy couple?

As to which other franchises I believe exist in the same universe as Classic Who, I see it like this.

Classic Who, Dan Dare (the first three versions), Blake’s 7, Godzilla (Showa era), Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Destroy All Humans video game series, Futurama, Quatermass, Prince of Darkness, the comic book Caballistics, Inc and Lost in Space all take place in the same universe in my opinion, as all have had loose crossovers with one another.

Doctor Who and Dan Dare crossed over in a Children in Need special where the Doctor and Dan visited a prison planet containing the Doctors worst enemies and the Mekon.

Blake’s 7 and Doctor Who have had a few crossovers with one another. In the novel Corpse Maker by Chris Boucher, a one off character from Blake’s 7 called  encounters the Voc Robots, Leela and the 4th Doctor. Furthermore in the audio series Kaldor City, which features both Doctor Who and Blake’s 7 character, the main protagonist is implied to be Avon, the main protagonist from Blake’s 7 in disguise!

Classic Who meanwhile had a few subtle crossovers with Quatermass in the story Remembrance of the Daleks. British Rocket Group and Quatermass himself are given a few mentions as real things.

“I wish Bernard were here.”

“British Rocket Group has its own problems”

In Futurama meanwhile the character of the 4th Doctor appears twice as a real person. First in Moebius Dick where he is one of the space travellers devoured by the space whale who are later rescued from its stomach by Leela.

In All The Presidents Heads the 4th Doctor is also briefly seen running back to the TARDIS in the altered timeline.

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The Jupiter 2, the main spaceship from Lost in Space is also among the ships the Space Whale has trapped too, showing that it exists in the same universe as Futurama and therefore Classic Who.

Furthermore Godzilla also appears in Futurama as a real creature too, which once again links Godzilla to Doctor Who. As to which Godzilla it is however, well personally I am going to settle for the Showa era Godzilla.

Aside from the fact that he is my favourite, the Showa era Godzilla series had a crossover with the Planet of the Apes film series. In Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla and Terror of Mechagodzilla the earth is attacked by a race of talking Apes working with a race of mutant men who wear masks made of human skins.

Whilst it is never made clear in the narrative, the intention of Toho was that these were the Apes and the mutant humans from the first two Planet of the Apes movies travelling to the past to change history. There is a slight reference to this in Terror of Mechagodzilla where the aliens mention saving the earth from mankind.

Futurama makes reference to Planet of the Apes having happened in the episode The Late Philip J Fry, so since Planet of the Apes and Godzilla both exist in the same reality as Futurama, that means that it has to be the Showa era Godzilla.

Of course this also means that the last 3 Planet of the Apes movies of the original series are not canon either. I have nothing against them. I think they were all great films, but they cannot be made to fit in with the N-Space timeline. You can rationalise it that the last 3 Apes movies take place in an alternate universe, with a similar history, but ultimately different in other ways.

Destroy All Humans and Cabillistics also contain references to events from Doctor Who stories as though they actually happened.

Prince of Darkness, a classic horror movie by the legendary director John Carpenter was said to have been based on real events, researched by Martin Quatermass, who in publicity material written to accompany the film, was said to be the brother of Bernard Quatermass. Thus as it is linked to Quatermass, then it is linked to Doctor Who too.

Finally the TARDIS also appears in Red Dwarf in a cameo scene.

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Incidentally the cast of Red Dwarf have also said that they want to have a crossover with Doctor Who, though they also said that they wanted to have one of the original Doctors instead.

Red Dwarf Cast: We Want A Doctor Who Crossover

So for all of these reasons and more I personally think that all of these franchises share the same universe as one another and I am going to try and work them all together in one history. I will have to take a few creative liberties with them to make them fit, but by and large I am going to try and stay faithful to every series in order to make them work.

Every Cyberman Story

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Having reviewed every Dalek story, I now intend to do the same for every Cyberman story. We will be looking at the Classic era Cybermen stories only as again I don’t really like to acknowledge New Who as much these days.

Other Non Sci Fi and Fantasy Reviews

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In the last few years this blog has tended to focus more on sci fi and fantasy which are my two favourite genres.

However I’d like to review other non sci fi or fantasy series. I intend to do reviews of various animated series and classic British and American comedy series too.

I want this blog to be able to branch out a bit, though obviously we will still be looking primarily at sci fi and fantasy, but there will be other types of reviews on this blog too.

My Own Fiction

I am going to post my own fiction here too. I already have a website to showcase my fiction, but being the oldest blog, this has the widest reach, so I am going to post them here as well as on my other site.

Thank you for reading and the first article will be up tomorrow.

 

 

 

Why Classic Doctor Who and New Doctor Who Do Not Take Place In The Same Universe

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Okay its no secret that I pretty much HATE all of the New Doctor Who from 2014 on. I think that its makers basically sold us out to a bullying, intolerant, needy ideology and have sunk what was once the most popular and wonderful of sci fi series.

Still in all fairness I don’t think that the New Doctor Who ever really worked as a sequel to the original series. Even in the Tennant era, whilst many fans, including I acknowledge myself, have tried to fit it in with the original. New Who was really always a different show.

Yes okay Classic Who changed over the course of its 26 year run, but never to quite the same extent as New Who. As I have been over many times there is a consistent characterisation overall to the 7 classic era Doctors, which New Who broke practically from the start.

So in this article I am going to argue that New Who and Classic Who take place in two separate universes, with a similar but different history (explaining the presence of the classic era Doctors in the 50th. They are simply alternate counterparts to the classic series versions.)

Obviously this is just my own head canon at this point, but as the likes of Paul Cornell and Steven Moffat have regularly said that Doctor Who has no canon (to cover up their own plot holes) then hey, this is just as valid as anything else.

I am also going to run down why I think this is better not just for Classic Who but New Who as well, and also for the future of the Doctor Who franchise in general.

So lets get started then shall we?

The Point of Divergence

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In my opinion the drastic change in history for the New Who and Classic Who universes occurs in the story The Magicians Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar.

Here the 12th Doctor went backwards in time and saved a young Davros from a minefield and instilled in him an important lesson, that compassion can be a strength. Davros evidently remembered this enough to programme a concept of mercy into the Daleks, as several Daleks throughout all of New Who have been shown to understand mercy, compassion and pity.

The Metaltron begs the Doctor to show pity when he attempts to kill it, whilst the Stone Dalek begs River Song to show him mercy, and finally Clara is able to say mercy through the Daleks machine in The Witch’s Familiar.

This is of course at odds however with what we see in Classic Who when Genesis of the Daleks states that the first Daleks created by Davros have no concept of pity or mercy. This isn’t just a throwaway line. Its an important plot point in the story, with even Davros at the end realising the horror of what he has created by depriving the Daleks of the ability to feel pity.

Furthermore Classic Who always made a point of showing the Daleks not being able to understand mercy in other stories too. Even when faced with certain death, Daleks in Classic Who NEVER beg for mercy like their Revival era counterparts. They might scream in fear and yell “retreat” but they never beg their enemies to show compassion.

So even already New Who and Classic Who are at odds with one another.

That is unless of course you take them as existing in different universes, with similar but ultimately different histories.

I say that in the New Who Universe which we’ll call M-Space, Davros as a boy wandered into the field by accident where he was rescued by the Doctor, whilst that simple event never happened in the universe Classic Who took place in which we’ll call N-Space.

Maybe in N-Space Davros stayed in that day, rather than going out to play with his friends like in M-Space where he got lost and stumbled into the minefield.

As a result of this the N-Space Davros never met the Doctor as a child and as a result never learned the important lesson about mercy from the Doctor. He continued to think that it was only weakness and so the N-Space Davros removed all sense of pity and compassion from the Daleks

As a result, as we saw in Genesis, the N-Space Daleks eventually overran Davros, and lacking any concept of mercy, shot their creator, though little did they know, he survived and would return to try and take leadership of their race, splitting them into two, which held them back greatly.

In M-Space however though the Daleks still overran Davros, they did not shoot him, as they were able to show some small measure of mercy towards their creator. Instead they enslaved him like in Journey’s End and The Magicians Apprentice.

As a result of this the M-Space, the Daleks became far more advanced and powerful.

They were able to make use of Davros’ intellect throughout their history, and they also did not have to deal with Davros splitting their race in two either.

Of course Davros at some point maybe did try and escape and create new Daleks, (which led to an alternate version of the events of Revelation of the Daleks as seen in The Magicians Apprentice.) Ultimately however they were able to recapture him, and his attempts to create a new Dalek faction never got off the ground in M-Space.

As a result of this, the Time Lords of M-Space became more scared of the Daleks and the two races were locked in a conflict of some kind before the Doctor even left Gallifrey. This explains why according to New Who the Doctor left because of a prophecy about a Dalek/Time Lord hybrid, whilst in Classic Who he had no fucking idea who they were in the first Dalek story.

In order to combat the Daleks, the Time Lords technology advanced (including finding the way to bring the dead back) and they even modified their bodies too. Finding a way to make regeneration into a weapon for example (explaining why it blows shit up in New Who.)

These modifications to their bodies however had a number of side effects, including gender bending and also making the incarnations of a Time Lord more radically different to each other. Naturally Time Lord society began to accommodate those differences, leading to different attitudes towards regeneration from the Time Lords in N-Space.

Of course this led to various other changes throughout the history of both universes which we will look at here.

1/ The Cybermen

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The Cybermen in Classic and New Who are not compatible with one another in many ways.

To start with in the 1966 story The Tenth Planet, the Cybermen are shown to invade the earth in the year 1986. Their invasion spreads out all over the world, they attack every major city, and their planet appears in the sky which is on every major news station.

The event isn’t covered up of course, and later stories set in the future show the Cyber invasion having become established history.

From The Moonbase set in the 21st Century.

“There were Cybermen every child knows that, but they died out ages ago.”

In New Who however nobody knows who the Cybermen were by the early 21st century, before the invasion of Canary Wharf which happens in 2006 or 7.

Now you might be thinking that the Tenth Planet jars with what we see of the earth in later stories of the Classic Era where nobody knows about the Cybermen, but it doesn’t.

The last companion before Ace to come from contemporary earth is Peri, who is said in Attack of the Cybermen to come from before the invasion in 1986. Ace meanwhile in Dragonfire was said to have been whisked away to a far away planet 18 months ago.

Assuming that Ace comes from modern earth (which there is nothing to contradict.) Then this would mean Ace was whisked away in 1985 as Dragonfire was broadcast in 1987, meaning that she was whisked away before the Cyber invasion, explaining why she doesn’t know the monsters in Silver Nemesis.

Battlefield and Survival, could easily take place in 1985, or even in 86 before the Cyber invasion which happened in December 1986.

Silver Nemesis meanwhile is said to take place in 1988, but to be fair there is nothing in that story to suggest that everyone else apart from Ace isn’t aware of the Cybermen. Indeed the Nazis do seem somewhat familiar with them, and nobody else meets them in the story to conform whether humanity is familiar with the Cybermen or not, so it is just about possible to fit the Tenth Planet in with later Classic Who stories.

It is not possible however to fit it in with New Who. In New Who, nobody knows about Aliens in Rose set in 2005, and Rose is show to be explicitly unaware of the Cybermen in Dalek.

On top of this technology in the Tenth Planet was shown to be much more advanced than technology on earth in the New Series. Now again fair enough, technology in later 80s Classic stories is not as advanced either, however this can be explained away by the fact that all of the later 80s Classic Who stories are set in little remote, poor, rundown areas, like Silver Nemesis, Survival, Battlefield, Attack of the Cybermen etc.

The technology for the Tenth Planet does actually fit in reasonably well with stories both before and after it. In the Pertwee era UNIT stories that we know took place only a decade or so before The Tenth Planet, the technology is on a similar level. (In both the early Pertwee stories and The Tenth Planet, mankind has developed spaceships far in advance of what we have even today that can take human beings to planets like Mars and back.)

In Power of the Daleks meanwhile mankind has set up various colonies on other planets by the 2020s, to the point where one colony on Vulcan can easily be forgotten about and overlooked. Furthermore according to the Chase mankind has robots that are advanced enough to be indistinguishable from human beings!

With New Who however we see stories set in big cities, and secret military compounds designed to take on alien threats like Torchwood, and the government in the 21st Century, 20 years after the events of The Tenth Planet, and the technology still isn’t as advanced as it is in the Tenth Planet or even certain Pertwee stories like The Ambassadors of Death.

Also according to New Who the first ever colony established on another world was on Mars by the 2050s and the destruction of this single colony was a huge event in the history of mankind. Furthermore it was only after the destruction of Bowie base one, that mankind would leave the solar system. How does this mesh with Power of the Daleks where mankind had various colonies on planets outside of the solar system by 2020, to the point where one could go missing and nobody even noticed!

Classic Who also established that the Cybermen were ONE race who came from the Planet Mondas. Originally they were a vast intergalactic power until their home planet was destroyed. Most of the Cybermen perished when Mondas exploded, but a few survived and colonised Telos, wiping out its inhabitants the Cryons.

A major plot point of the Cybermen’s story arc is that they are a unique race, teetering on the verge of extinction. If they are wiped out there will be no more, hence their catchphrase “We Will Survive!”

New Who meanwhile says that the Cybermen were never a race, rather they were the collective name given to various humanoid species that had transformed themselves into machine creatures.

The Doctor states that the different Cybermen originated almost wherever there were people, and goes on to list worlds that developed their own Cybermen independently from one another, including Mondas, Telos, and earth.

This makes no sense of course in regards to old who. Old Who states that the last of the Mondasian Cybermen moved to Telos and wiped out its native life forms, whilst New Who says that they developed on Telos independently from the ones on Mondas?

See here.

Classic Who

CYBERCONTROLLER: We know your intelligence.

DOCTOR: Oh, thank you very much. Ah yes the lunar surface.

CYBERCONTROLLER: Our machinery had stopped and our supply of replacements had been depleted.

DOCTOR: So that’s why you attacked the Moonbase.

CYBERCONTROLLER: You had destroyed our first planet and we were becoming extinct.

LYTTON: Telos is the Cybermen’s home planet.

DOCTOR: Uh-huh adopted planet. You’d have liked Telos Peri, in the old days when the Cryons were in residence. They were the indigenous population. Until the Cybermen wiped them out.

LYTTON: They had nowhere else to go.

DOCTOR: Oh for heavens sake man, the universe is littered with unpopulated planets.

PERI: Well why not on their own planet. I assume they had one. What’s the matter?

DOCTOR: Mondas the Cyber planet was destroyed.

New Who

DOCTOR: They (Cybermen) always get started. They happen anywhere there’s people. Mondas. Telos. Earth. Planet 14. Marinus. Like sewage, smart phones and Donald Trump. Some things are just inevitable.

DOCTOR: People get the Cybermen wrong. There’s no evil plan, no evil genius. Just parallel evolution. 

This is a complete contradiction. Now according to the Doctor there were people on Telos who turned themselves into Cybermen independently from the ones on Mondas.

What about the non human aliens, the Cryons, who the Mondasian Cybermen wiped out to steal their home planet, whose history the Doctor knew (and who he felt passionate about) and who he met? Is the 12th Doctor saying that the Cyrons turned themselves into Cybermen now?

Also if the Cybermen sprung up on various worlds, why were the Mondasian Cybermen nearing extinction in stories like Tomb of the Cybermen? Surely they must have known that there were various other Cyber factions out there, and that according to the Doctor they would always spring up sooner or later?

Also the recent two parter World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls, featured a sort of origin story for the Cybermen that contradicted The Tenth Planet.

According to this two parter the Cybermen had the power to fly and shoot laser beams from their bodies at the start of their development. In that case, why the hell did we not see the Cybermen in the Tenth Planet display any of these powers?

Once again this isn’t just a minor detail that New Who got wrong. The entire point of the Cybermen in the Tenth Planet is that they still have some human components. They are a mixture of man and machine. They have human hands, they still have names and individual identities like Krang etc.

However according to New Who, before even leaving the place they were created, the Mondasian Cybermen transformed into complete machine creatures?

In short the New Who Cybermen are the complete opposite to the original in almost every way. One’s entire story arc revolves around them being a unique race, nearing extinction, the other are an idea that originates on various different worlds. One was known to mankind in 1986, the other weren’t etc.

There’s no way to reconcile them both.

The Master

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The villain to suffer the most from series to series. The John Simm Master obviously wasn’t quite as terrible as Michelle Gomez version. He did carry on certain aspects of the villains personality like his lust for power, whilst Gomez was just a completely different character in every conceivable way.

Still again much like with the Cybermen, the Master even before the SJW pandering began was never really compatible with his classic era counterpart.

The Master in Classic Who was originally stated to be a renegade Time Lord who sought to conquer the galaxy because he believed that under his rule, things would be better. He believed that using his advanced intellect he could cure diseases, avert major disasters, end inequality, and protect planets like earth (that he had a particular fondness for, much like the Doctor.)

He was willing to kill, even billions of people to achieve this, but he initially saw his crimes as being for a greater good. In fact he saw the Time Lords as the villains, as they had the power in his mind to change history for the better, establish a peaceful empire that holds all of the other worlds in line rather than let them destroy each other wars, and cure all of the ills that affect primitive planets like earth.

The Master it was also established was the Doctors friend back on Gallifrey, however their friendship was not that close.

In The Five Doctors when the First Doctor (played by stand in Richard Hurndall) meets the Master he doesn’t even recognise him!

Granted the Master is in a new body, but even then, when the Master tries to jog the Doctors memory, the First Doctor still fails to recall their friendship and later simply refers to him as a villain and a strange fellow, showing that it clearly wasn’t that important a relationship in either men’s lives.

In fact its only mentioned as having been friends years ago in ONE story, The Sea Devils. That’s literally it. In every single other story the two only ever refer to each other as enemies. Even in the Five Doctors, the Master doesn’t introduce himself as an old friend of the first Doctor, simply as having gone to the Time Lord Academy at the same time as he did. (The Five Doctors was written by the co-creator of the Master, Terrance Dicks who not surprisingly, hates Missy with a vengeance.)

When the Doctor and the Master first meet on screen in Terror of the Autons, its obvious that neither have that high an opinion of the other. Still the Master does think that the Doctor can perhaps be a potential ally. He is the only other Time Lord seemingly that isn’t content to just sit back and observe the universe. The Master clearly hopes that the Doctor can help him build his better galaxy in his earliest stories like Colony in Space.

When it becomes apparent to the Master that the Doctor doesn’t share his grand vision for the universe, he sees him as his greatest threat and tries to destroy him above all else. At no point does the Master show hesitation at killing the Doctor because of their past friendship.

The Master also is quite insecure about the Doctor’s intelligence too. As the Doctor is the only other renegade Time Lord whose reputation in some respects outshines him, then The Master is desperate to prove he is superior. We see this in The Mind of Evil when the Masters worst fear is a giant Doctor laughing at him!

The more the Doctor foils the Masters plans, the more the Master comes to genuinely hate the Doctor to the point where it becomes his main desire to not just destroy the Doctor, but humiliate, and torture him.

The Master’s intense hatred of his foe, coupled with an accident that reduces him to his emaciated form in the Deadly Assassin, pushes the villain over the edge to become a vicious, deranged, bitter lunatic. The later Masters are shown to kill for no reason other than their own sadistic cruelty, and are more unstable, vicious characters. They still desire ultimate power however. So much so that in Logopolis, the Master gambles with the fate of the universe itself to gain control over it.

However the key difference is that the likes of Ainley and the Burned Master have dropped the seemingly altruistic facade that the Delgado Master played up in stories like Colony in Space. They want power just for their own glory.

The Doctor meanwhile in turn always views the Master with contempt. He never shows any affection for him. He only mentions their friendship in The Sea Devils, and the rest of the time he not only considers the Master evil and responsible for his actions, but tries to kill him.

In Terror of the Autons, the Doctor is perfectly happy for UNIT to shoot the Master.

In The Mind of Evil, even when the Master has agreed to leave the earth, the Doctor still tries to kill him as he doesn’t want him loose in the universe hurting other worlds. He tries to kill the Master by trapping him in an area that is about to be hit by a missile (using a device that quite literally cripples the Master with his own fear.) He is later absolutely devastated when the Master escapes.

In The Claws of Axos, the Doctor tricks the Master into thinking that he wants to leave humanity to be consumed by the Axons and get revenge on the Time Lords, so that he can trap both the Master and the Axons in an eternal time loop where they will be forced to live the same moment over and over again forever. The Master however catches on to what the Doctor is doing in time and escapes, though the Doctor after successfully trapping the Axons, believes that he trapped the Master too, and is happy about it.

In the Daemons the Doctor compares the Master to Hitler and Gengis Khan!

In The Deadly Assassin meanwhile the Doctor boots a dying Master into a bottomless pit. He later tells the Time Lords that the Master is the one person in all of creation that he would actually wish death on as he is the quintessence of evil.

In Keeper of Traken the Doctor with Adric and Nyssa’s help destroys the Masters TARDIS and seemingly kills him in an inferno.

In Castrovalva the Doctor leaves a pleading Master to be torn to pieces by his own followers in a place that fades from existence. He later says that he hopes the Master is finished for good this time.

In The Five Doctors, the third Doctor, against Sarah Jane’s protests leaves the Master to be killed by the Cybermen. He also states that the idea of the Master helping him is the biggest pile of rubbish he has ever heard in his life!

The Fifth Doctor similarly leaves the Master in the care of the Cybermen and shows no remorse for it “Well if he survived I’ll say sorry.”

In Planet of Fire the Doctor burns the Master to ashes as he begs for mercy.

In The Two Doctors, the Doctor seals the Rani and the Master in a TARDIS with a hungry Tyrannosaurus Rex that’s about to eat both of them!

In Trial of A Time Lord, the Doctor tells the Time Lords (who are known for not only killing their enemies, but erasing them from history) to do what they want with the Master, and only makes a case for Glitz.

In Survival the Doctor nearly bashes the Masters head in with a rock, and only relents when he realises the Cheetah virus will consume him if he carries out any act of violence.

There’s really very few instances where the Doctor is not willing to kill the Master. In The Time Monster, the Doctor pleads for the Master to not be condemned to an eternity of torture at Chronos’ hands. Later when Jo asks him why she showed mercy, the Doctor tells her flatly that he wouldn’t want to condemn anyone to an eternity of torture, even the Master, his worst enemy.

There are a few more instances of the Doctor not killing the Master when the latter is unarmed, but again this doesn’t demonstrate any affection for the villain. He also has a trouble killing Davros, and even the Daleks when they are unarmed. The Doctors moral code only ever allows him to kill in self defence. One could argue however that the Master is the only villain he makes an exception for, including even Davros.

In Resurrection of the Daleks and in The Mind of Evil, the Doctor comes to the conclusion that Davros and the Master must both be killed for the greater good of the universe. When it comes to Davros however, he finds he is unable to just shoot him in cold blood, whilst with the Master as we have seen he went through with it without a seconds thought or regret, and was furious when he found out he survived!

The Doctor and the Master in Classic Who are the bitterest of enemies. They can never completely triumph over the other. The Doctor may stop the Master from taking over the earth, but he never stops him from destroying innocent lives, and never is even able to bring him to justice.

Their friendship which was a very minor part of their relationship, was really more of an ironic echo than anything else.

In New Who meanwhile the Master was said to have been a psychopath since he was a child and was forced to stare into the untempered schism. Since that day he heard a drumming in his head that tormented him and drove him insane.

The Doctor in New Who as a result of this does not view the Master as evil. He thinks had it not been for the drumming in his head he could have been a force for good in the universe. The Doctor and the Master according to New Who had a very intense friendship when they were young.

The Doctor in both his Twelfth and Tenth incarnation regularly states that the Master was his absolute best friend, and possibly even his soul mate. The two even planned to elope throughout the universe together when they were young back on Gallifrey, but for some reason it never happened.

The Doctor is never willing to kill the Master. In fact he actively saves him/her many times. Even when killing the Master will bring all of humanity back after being turned into clones of the Master, the Doctor refuses to kill him, effectively putting the Master above 7 billion people.

The Doctor is also shown to break down into tears when he believes that the Master has died too.

There is also a sexual aspect to the Doctor and the Masters relationship too in the revival, which becomes more obvious after the Master has turned into a woman.

Finally whilst the Simm Master is shown to have a desire to rule, Missy has no such motive. In fact Missy outright gives up a chance for ultimate power just to win her “boyfriend” back, telling him that she doesn’t need an army.

There is no way you can reconcile these two characters as being the same in terms of history, relationship with the main hero, and characterisation.

Why did the Delgado Master never mention the drums in his head? John Simm never shuts up about them.

Also why did all 7 of the Classic era Doctors view the Master as evil and not some poor lost soul, like Tennant. Tennant tells the Simm Master that he doesn’t really want to hurt people, and that if he would just let him help, then the Master could be good. Similarly Capaldi’s Doctor spends an entire year trying to rehabilitate Missy.

Why did the previous Doctors never try and get through to the Master? Why did they view him as being no different to Hitler and go out of their way to murder him?

Why did the first Doctor not remember his friendship with the Master? Apparently the whole reason he was going to run away was so he could spend time with this guy?

Why was there never any hint of romance between the Classic Doctor and Master (and there wasn’t.)

The Classic Masters entire story arc where we see him descend from a power hungry sociopath to a bitter psychopath doesn’t make any sense either if you take the drums origin story.

In Logopolis the Doctor says to the Master with genuine shock “you’re mad” when he sees how he is willing to take such a huge risk in gaining power, showing how the Master is different to how the Doctor remembers him. Again however according to New Who the Master was always a lunatic?

The only explanation that makes any sense is that they are two different characters.

The Great Intelligence

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The villain who has changed the most over the course of old and new who. In the original series the Great Intelligence was said to be an alien that came from another universe.

He first came to our reality when a Tibetan monk was mediating and encountered the monster on the astral plan. The Intelligence then hitched a ride via the monk to our universe and took him over.

The possessed monk then spent the next 300 years not only building Yeti robots as his army, but a machine that would allow the GI to fully manifest in our universe. The GI is foiled in this plan by the Second Doctor in the 1930s meaning that it came to earth at some point in the early 1600s.

The Intelligence returns many decades later with new and improved Yeti robots in an attempt to drain the Doctors mind. Though it is defeated, it still manages to escape into space. The Intelligence is shown to be able to possess people. Its true form is nothing more than a voice, and it is a cold and logical creature. It dismisses emotions like revenge as petty, wants to gain knowledge as it believes it is power, yet is also shown to be somewhat cowardly, shrieking in panic when the Doctor makes plans against it.

In New Who meanwhile the Great Intelligence was created from the mind of Professor Walter Simeon in the late 19th Century. Thanks to his experiments it was able to live beyond him. It would always assume his form, it did not have the power to possess people, and it was a highly emotional creature who was shown to have a cruel sense of humour, and enjoyed torturing the Doctor.

Ultimately the New Who Great Intelligence kills itself to get back at the Doctor.

There is no way the GI from old who can be the one from the revival. To start with their origins are completely contradictory to one another. One is an alien from another universe, the other the creation of a mad human. One was in Tibet from the 1600s to the 1900s, the other was in London, unable to leave a tank in the late 19th century.

One was just a disembodied voice, the other always assumed the form of Simeon. One was cowardly, put its survival above all else, was generally cold and logical and sought power, the other was sadistic, vengeful and killed itself to take down the Doctor!

Hell even their minions were different. The GI from Old Who had a fondness for its Yeti robots and always used them, whilst the New Series GI never did.

They are completely different villains other than being a similar idea of a disembodied spirit.

Of course the real reason that they are so different was much like with the Master and the Cybermen, the writers of New Who didn’t give a shit about trying to actually write the villain they were supposed to. They simply wanted to write their own character, but slapped the name of a more famous villain to make them more popular (in the case of the GI it was clearly to cash in on the upcoming release of the then recently discovered Web of Fear.)

The Daleks and Davros

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The Doctors two greatest enemies, the Daleks and the Davors have definitely been handled the best out of all of the icons of the show in the revival (including even the dear old Doctor himself.)

Still there are a few discrepancies between the old Daleks and the new ones. As I have been over the New Daleks whilst still monsters, at least understand what pity is and can even plead for it, whilst the old Daleks are utterly devoid of even the tiniest bit of compassion.

Also the home planet of the Daleks, Skaro was completely and utterly destroyed in Remembrance of the Daleks when the Doctor caused Skaro’s sun to blow up and consume it.

In the Revival meanwhile it is said that Skaro was ravaged during the time war, but not completely destroyed and then later rebuilt.

Also Davros by the time of Remembrance had upgraded himself into the form a Dalek Emperor, whilst in the revival in stories set after Remembrance he is still in his usual form.

Furthermore as we have been over the Doctors relationship with the Daleks doesn’t match up if you take New Who into account. According to the hybrid story the Doctor ran away because he was scared after reading about a prophecy that the Daleks and the Time Lords would produce a hybrid. So he must have been aware of the Daleks then before he first met them according to Classic Who in the Mutants?

Finally even the Time Lords had no idea who the Daleks were before the events of the War Games when the Doctor brought the monsters to their attention, whilst New Who has the Time Lords being terrified of them before the Doctor even ran away.

The Doctor

Image result for William Hartnell Billie Piper

Yes the main character himself across both series seems like a totally different person (more so than usual.)

Now a lot of people will try and justify this with that old mantra “Doctor Who is all about change, so all change is good”. Well again I say that is as moronic a statement as saying that the show can never change.

Doctor Who has a flexible format that can allow it to change if it needs too, but that doesn’t mean that it has to. Each change must be justified, hence why things like Colin Bakers coat that were just done on a whim were crap.

Also the character of the Doctor as I have explained many times can NOT be anyone. There is a definite template to his personality that defines the Doctor as a character. If there wasn’t then he wouldn’t be the Doctor, he’d just be a name. The job of an actor or writer is to try and do something different within that template, which is true in many ways of every iconic character that is reinterpreted again and again.

Now whilst it would be wrong to say that New Who has completely broken that template, at the same time I think its fair to say that a lot of the time, not only is it hard to imagine the New Who Doctor as being the same character as the original, but you’d laugh.

Take a look at the Doctors morality. In Classic Who the Doctor has a very particular moral code where he will kill if he has to, but prefers to find peaceful solutions. He has no affection for any villain he faces (as we have been over he is more than happy to kill the Master in almost every confrontation.)

He also shows no quams about killing human villains compared to killing monsters either as seen when he poisons Professor Solon. The only times the Classic era Doctor shows hesitation in murdering an enemy is if they are unarmed and it is not in self defence. This can be seen in Resurrection of the Daleks when he refuses to shoot Davros, or Frontier in Space when he tells the earth men they can’t shoot the Master as he is unarmed, or even in Genesis of the Daleks where he memorably shows hesitation at wiping the Daleks out when they are defenceless and at their point of birth.

Of course there are a few exceptions to this, where the Doctor will murder a villain he deems to be too big a threat to the rest of the universe (ironically most instances of this involve the Master such as in The Mind of Evil and Planet of Fire and The Deadly Assassin.)

Still overall the Doctor is more than willing to kill, and he will use any type of weapon to do it. Guns, swords, sonic lances, high explosives, poison, acid, electricity, feeding his enemies to animals, he’ll even beat villains to death with blunt instruments. The Doctor never demonstrates any particular hatred of guns either. In fact in some stories he seems to be quite the gun buff.

He mentions having several vintage gun collections to Steven in The Gun Fighters, and scolds Steven for not being careful with his favourite gun. He also mentions building a gun in his workshop in The Invasion of Time, and in The Talons of Weng Chiang he demonstrates impressive knowledge on fire arms in general. Finally in The Visitation he even mentions having a gun making him feel quite comfortable.

Of course again ultimately the Doctor in the classic era is a scientist, not a soldier, so he doesn’t carry guns with him all the time, and he finds violence distasteful

In the Revival however, to start with the Doctor refuses to use guns under any circumstances. (There are a few instances where he will pick up a gun in desperation, but even then he never actually uses it against another life form.)

The New Who Doctors hatred of guns is comparable to Batman in that both will refuse to use guns, or allow others beside them to use guns in a situation where they literally have no choice. Examples of this can be seen in the Tenth Doctor refusing to allow Jack to use a gun on hordes of Toclafane about to strike down on Jack, Martha and the Doctor himself. The Doctor also chastises UNIT for using guns against the Sontarans, gun toting monsters who could easily vaporise them. He also shouts at his clone not to use a gun on Davros and the new Dalek empire, seconds away from their bomb which is about to destroy every single universe going off! Then of course there is the Tenth Doctor refusing to use Wilf’s gun to stop the Master and save 7 billion people.

Finally there is this notorious moment where the Tenth Doctor refuses to shoot the man who killed his own daughter and outright says that he never, ever would shoot anyone, and that the Hath and humans should follow his example.

See what I mean? You laugh when you think of Tennant as being the same character as the first 7 Doctors.

This kind of hypocrisy isn’t limited to David Tennant either. Peter Capaldi’s Doctor similarly is shown to have a distaste for soldiers, which makes no sense considering the Classic era Doctors best friend was a soldier.

Also the Twelfth Doctor acts as though having to shoot Missy will damn his soul forever? Why would killing the Master do that, but not poisoning Solon, or ageing the Borad to death, or throwing Magnus Creel into a machine that slowly drains his bodily fluids and turns him into a burnt out husk, or blowing up Skaro  or smashing a guys head in with a shovel, or using Aggedor to maul Eckersly to death, or shooting the Cyber leader to death, after choking him with gold?

Answer its not. Ironically Missy deserved it more than ALL of those characters, as she’s killed more than all of those villains combined!

Of course this was never a problem in Classic Who as the Doctor did try and kill the Master all the time, in as vicious ways as those other villains. The wiley bastard just always managed to slip through the net. Still if you go by the New series, then the Doctor is a hypocrite and a racist.

The Doctors attitude towards regeneration, as well as regeneration in general in New Who are polar opposites too.

In the Classic era NONE of the Doctors viewed regeneration as death. They all simply viewed it as an advanced form of healing where the Doctors body broke down, and repaired itself, but in doing so, changed appearance.

Obviously his personality was affected by both the trauma of changing appearance, and also simply from living in a different body, but he never acted as though he wasn’t the same man underneath. In fact far from it.

In Caves of Androzani, the Fifth Doctor makes a distinction between regeneration and death to his companion Peri. In The War Games, though the Second Doctor is annoyed at being forced to regenerate, he does not treat it as a death. He refers to it as a change of appearance and isn’t that bothered when the Time Lords offer him a choice of his next appearance.

In the revival however every incarnation of the Doctor has treated regeneration as a death. They all say that everything they are dies, and some new man goes sauntering off and they are dead. They all fear regeneration, though 11 puts on a braver face than 10 and 12 (which wouldn’t be hard lets be honest.) He still treats it as a death and even says goodbye to Clara, which he shouldn’t do if he is still 12.

The idea of all the incarnations of a Time Lord makes zero sense when applied to Classic Who. Why was the Second Doctor more bothered about being fat than dying? Why did the Master try and prolong his life by stealing regenerations? If each incarnation is a different person, then why the hell would he bother? He’ll die once he regenerates anyway?

Also why did the Doctor and Romana refer to her regeneration as a change of body “you can’t go around wearing copies of bodies?”

Also why did the Fifth Doctor and the Seventh Doctor both go over old times with the Brigadier? They never met him. If we go by New Who, then it was some other man who died ages ago. The Brig should really not be of any importance to the McCoy or Davison Doctor.

Also in New Who it was said that the Doctor can only regenerate when he is mortally wounded, but if he dies before the process can begin then he will die for good.

In Classic Who however, the first, third, fifth, sixth and seventh Doctors ALL died, and were even dead for a few minutes before regenerating. In fact the fourth and second Doctors were the only two who were still awake.

Also in the revival a Time Lords regeneration is often shown to blow up its surroundings most of the time, which never happened or was discussed as a possibility in Classic Who. (You’d think that he would have warned Ben and Polly, Sarah and the Brig, Teegan, Nyssa and Adric, and Peri all of whom would have been killed if ANY of the first 5 Doctors had regenerated like 10, 11 and 12 did.

Also why did regeneration always look different in the original series? The directors and producers made a point of this, that each regeneration, much like each Doctor was different. In New Who however the reverse is true and each regeneration not just for the Doctor, but every time lord looks the same.

Also the Doctors origin and story arc of becoming a hero in New Who is different to what we saw in Old Who.

In Old Who we saw Hartnell gradually become more heroic over the course of three years, whilst in New Who the Doctor says that he became a hero when he chose to call himself the Doctor as he made a promise to never be cruel or cowardly again.

Yeah I don’t think you can say the Doctor stopped being an asshole after he chose to call himself Doctor!

Then of course there is the major oversight in Moffat’s part by having the Classic era Doctor flee Gallifrey because he is terrified of a prophecy involving the Daleks, and the Classic era Doctor not meeting them until well after he has left.

Also even just in characterisation and behaviour, then the New Who Doctors never really meshed with the old.

All of the original 7 Doctors were portrayed as much older, wise, colder and level headed characters. The Doctor was very much the epitome of the stiff upper lip type of hero in Classic Who. We never saw him cry over the entire course of the 26 years, he never completely lost his cool. He’d get angry sure, but he’d never scream, stamp his foot and do something that.

He also tended to view the younger women he travelled with as surrogate daughter figures. In a way characters like Vicki, Victoria, Zoe, Jo Grant, Nyssa and Ace, all of whom he loves like daughters are replacements for Susan, his first companion and grand daughter.

The New Who Doctor meanwhile is a very immature, very emotional, is prone to tantrums, or letting his emotions get the better of him, such as with the Racnoss, the Family of Blood or his notorious “I COULD DO SO MUCH MORE!” rant at Wilf in The End of Time. He also falls in love with various human companions such as Rose and Clara.

Even physically the New Who Doctors tend to dress in less flamboyant, more modern clothing which is the opposite of how the Old Doctors used to dress.

Finally all of the Classic era Doctors were shown to be formidable hand to hand fighters, save for the Second.  They all regularly used to beat their enemies into submission too. The First Doctor would often whack his foes over the head with his stick, and even mentioned that he loved fighting when overpowering a Roman centurion, who he even toyed with!

The Third, Fourth, and Fifth Doctors were also shown to regularly overpower and knock out multiple men at once in stories such as The Green Death, Inferno, Day of the Daleks, Genesis of the Daleks, The Seeds of Doom and The Visitation.

The 6th Doctor was also shown to overpower and beat an armed (and homicidal) police man almost half to death in Attack of the Cybermen, and overpowered and smothered Shockeye to death in The Two Doctors.

Finally the Seventh Doctor not only overpowered the Master in their fight in Survival, but he also regularly knocked out much larger and seemingly stronger men unconscious with just one finger!

Many assume that the Doctor wasn’t an action hero, because he was obviously a more cerebral character but that’s not true. He was like Sherlock Holmes in that whilst he primarily outwitted his enemies, he wasn’t afraid of using his fists if need be.

Sherlock Holmes Tough Guy

The New Who Doctors meanwhile are never shown to display any fighting skills. Even when in young, strong bodies like 11 and 10 they NEVER use their fists against their enemies.

The 9th and 11th Doctors don’t get involved in any physical fights of any kind, (though 11 does knock out Bracewell, that’s pretty much it and  it doesn’t exactly show what a great fighter he is, biffing an old guy when he isn’t looking.)

Ten and Twelve meanwhile are shown to be skilled fencers at least in their fights with the Sycrocrax and Robin Hood, which is one trait that carried on throughout almost all of the Classic Doctors too.

Still we never see Ten and Twelve get into fist fights, and over power multiple men whilst unarmed like the Third and Fourth and even Fifth Doctors regularly did.

The New Who Doctors really only follow the same basic formula of the originals. All are mysterious time travellers, all want to explore (though even the the basic motivation of the Doctor wanting to see the universe has changed. In Eccelston’s era he says that he travels because his world is gone, whilst in the Capaldi era he only left because he was scared of the prophecy.)

Of course that’s not to say that New Who never got the Doctors character right. Matt Smith’s interpretation during his first year as the Doctor I thought was the very close to the character for the most part, and Matt was one of the best actors in the role.

Still again, Matt Smith aside, most of the time it was hard to imagine the New Who Doctors as being the same as the original.

See what I mean? Once again when you try and imagine the old Doctor as being the same character as the new one, you laugh.

Other Discrepancies

Old Who states that the Zygons home planet was destroyed by a solar flare, whilst New Who states that it burnt in the first year of the Time War.

Old Who and New Who have different dates for the destruction of the earth in the future, and both show the earth being destroyed under different circumstances with humanity being at different stages. In New Who the human race has expanded out into space and had children with other races to the point where there are apparently no “pure” humans anymore. They are also the major power in the universe, so they no longer even need the earth hence why they are happy to let it burn. They later end up terrorforming another planet called New Earth as their home however.

In Classic Who meanwhile humanity by the time of the earths destruction were a tiny desperate group living on one spaceship, which was set to go to a planet called Refusis, alongside an alien race called the Monoids.

The Brigadier according to New Who was desperate for the Doctor to salute him. This was NEVER mentioned in Classic Who, at any point.

Finally according to New Who, Sarah Jane Smith was in love with the Doctor, whilst according to the original series their relationship was never romantic.

Why This Idea Is For The Best

In my opinion New Who and Classic Who being split into two separate universes is better for both series for a number of reasons.

Number 1 it lets a lot of baggage off of New Who. Be honest here most of the hatred New Who gets is because it isn’t faithful to Old Who. Its not unreasonable for people to be angry at New Who for this, as it was billed as a sequel to the original, yet basically threw away as much of the originals characterisation and lore as it seemingly could!

However if taken as simply being an alternate universe version, then well a lot of Classic era fans I don’t think would have quite such a bad feeling towards it. I’m not saying that dross like Dark Water/Death in Heaven would ever be seen as classics, but still overall I think a lot of New Who, particularly the Tennant era would be seen in a better light.

New Who would just be on the level of the Cushing movies. Great fun (for the most part) but not actually a proper part of the show.

Also for New Who and indeed any other sequel to the original which would follow this formula it would allow them to pick and choose whatever they want from the original series rather than be forced to follow every single part of its canon blindly.

Also I feel that making New Who an Classic Who into separate universes would stop the series from falling into the trap that Marvel comics have, where essentially everything important has to be reset to the status quo at some point.

As all of Marvel’s main output has been set in the same universe since the 60s, Marvel can never really do anything big like kill off a major character such as the Green Goblin, Captain America and Wolverine without someone bringing them back at a later date due to their popularity.

Sure there are some notable exceptions like Gwen Stacey (though even then a clone of Gwen did appear and is still alive.)

This means that we can not only never finish say Spider-Man’s story, but we also can’t do things like have him get married, have children or anything that might change the status quo of Spidey being a young hero who fights bad guys.

Doctor Who due its formula would have fallen into this trap anyway, even if New Who hadn’t been as unfaithful as it possibly could.

We could never resolve the stories of villains like the Master, Davros, the Daleks. Someone could write the perfect ending for them, but then 5 or so years later another writer would completely undo it, because obviously the show can’t lose such a big icon. Similarly big developments that can go on for years like Gallifrey being destroyed, or earth being made aware of aliens in the Russell T Davies and Steven Moffat era would also always have to be undone eventually too and the status quo restored.

Personally I think they should have had used up all 13 Doctors and then had the Doctor die for good, before going on to another universe.

Of course New Who kind of got to the last Doctor a bit too quickly (another cardinal sin of the makers of New Who was the way they wasted so many regenerations, by not using Paul McGann, basically driving Eccelston out after a year, making David Tennant count twice. Even Matt Smith and David Tennant should have done 4 seasons each rather than three.)

Still whatever the case, I think that we should just jump to the chase and say that Classic Who and New Who take place in alternate universes. That way New Who can actually have an ending and finish its storylines without finishing Doctor Who.

DC comics used this formula in the 1960s and I think it worked very well. DC revealed that all of their stories from the 30s-50s took place on an alternate universe (rather confusingly called earth 2,) to the current stories (which was called earth 1).

This allowed them to reboot their series, whilst not throwing everything about the originals out, and it allowed the original versions of their characters to meet the new versions too, such as in the story, The Flash of Two Earths, where the Flash from Earth 1 (Barry Allen) after experimenting with his super speed accidentally crossed over into Earth 2 and worked alongside the original 1930s-40s Flash, Jay Garrick, who had aged realistically since we last saw him.

It also allowed DC to end the original versions of their characters too. The 30s-50s Batman for instance eventually retired, married a reformed Catwoman, and had a daughter with her, Helena Wayne who became a superhero called the Huntress and would cross over to Earth 1 where she would meet the younger version of her father, who she came to call her Uncle Bruce.

DC unlike Marvel could eventually end their most iconic characters stories whilst still keeping them around.

I personally would love to see a story where the New Who Doctor travels to the universe of the original Doctor, and we get to see an old school Doctor in a frock coat, who travels in a TARDIS that looks like the original on the inside. We can also see his earth in 2017 with far more advanced technology, and where the Cyber invasion of the 1980s is a historical fact and mankind has colonies on other planets by the 2010s, and the Daleks resemble their old series counterparts and Davros looks the way he does in Remembrance of the Daleks.

Also in terms of the future of the franchise then it would free it from the baggage of New Who.

I reckon New Who is going to be cancelled very soon, and when it does lets be honest, who would want to carry Doctor Who on?

By casting a woman in the role Chibnall has opened up a huge can of worms for casting the next Doctor. What happens if they want to cast a man? There is going to be outrage from the feminist audience. We’ll be hearing about how its transphobic to want to change the Doctor back to a man, about how its sexist, and at the same time from the people who didn’t want there will be more (correct) accusations of pandering to the PC brigade etc.

Chibnall has marched the franchise into a minefield and made the casting of each Doctor, previously something that people looked forward too, a very ugly situation. What producer or writer would want to take that on? Of again Chibnall didn’t need to land us in this ugly situation. As I have pointed out before he could have just brought Romana back as a supporting character and then spun her off into her own show, but I won’t go over that old argument again.

At the same time because of the shows established and beloved history then I don’t think a full reboot would go down tremendously well either.

A reboot however that ignores New Who and follows on from the original series would be a good compromise. The viewer could decide which one was the real sequel. Then when the third version of Doctor Who finishes in say 10 or 20 years if it has a good run, then the fourth version of Doctor Who could ignore New Who and the third version.

Obviously when I see these alternate sequels to Classic Who would ignore New Who, I don’t mean that they would get Paul McGann back. They’d just have the New Doctor show up, not mention any previous adventures, establish him, and then at some point in his second or third year, he’d casually mention “I’m on my 9th life” establishing this as a direct sequel to the original.

You might think that this would alienate new fans, but most of them have been unhappy with the direction New Who has gone in for the last few years too.

Also this doesn’t erase New Who. It just means that it isn’t the definitive take on what happens next.

I don’t think its fair personally that the makers of New Who get to decide the ultimate fate of the Classic era characters since they had no hand in creating them.

Its kind of like Sherlock Holmes. Only the original stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle are considered canon. All of the sequel stories by various different authors are not definitive. They can be taken as being definitive by their fans, but aren’t the official version.

That’s only fair as no one else has a right to decide how Conan Doyle’s stories should end. Now fair enough the Classic era of Doctor Who wasn’t written by one author, but still most of its creators were involved in some capacity right to the end. Terry Nation for instance still had creative control over the Daleks until the very end of the show, whilst Barry Letts helped JNT cast and create the Ainley version of the Master.

I might add that many of the people who created the original Doctor Who and its icons have/would have hated the New Doctor Who as well. Terrance Dicks for instance hated Missy the female Master, considering her an insult to the memory of Roger Delgado, whilst Terry Nation was famously protective of the Daleks, and never wanted them to appear in stories with other monsters, or ever be given human emotions or traits. He hated The Evil of the Daleks for instance which features the Daleks being infected with the human factor.

Nobody involved in original series is involved in New Who, so I don’t really see why it is anymore official than any other piece of fan fiction?

In my opinion Classic Who should stand as its own piece of fiction. Every single sequel, including New Who, and the hypothetical sequels that ignore New Who, are just one groups idea of what the show should be. None of them are official.

However rather than simply write the sequels all off as remakes, we could have them all occupy alternate realities to each other (alongside the two Cushing movies, and Doctor Omega, Doctor Who’s literary predecessor) and you the viewer can decide which if any take place in the same universe as the original, but at the very least you know they all take place in the same multiverse.

Doctor Who Multiverse

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This in my opinion is how the relationship between the various different versions of Doctor Who works. In regards to Big Finish and the comic books, you can split them off into whatever universe you want. Some Big Finish audios can easily take place in N-Space, whilst others that feature River Song would obviously have to take place in M-Space.

N-Space: (Classic Who) The universe that the original Doctor Who series takes place in. In this reality the Doctor was a pioneer among his people before he left Gallifrey. He never visited Davros as a boy, and as a result Davros removed all concepts of mercy and compassion from them. This meant that the Daleks shot their creator, but Davros survived and later split their race into two factions, making them less of a threat to the Time Lords, but a longer lasting threat in the universe.

The earth became aware of aliens in 1986 thanks to the Cyber invasion, though its technology was already much more advanced, leading to the great space age and colonisation of other worlds from the 1970s to the 2020s.

M-Space: (New Doctor Who) In this reality the Doctor visited Davros as a boy and saved him from a minefield.

This seemingly minor action had ripples throughout the history of the universe. The Daleks as a result of having some mercy, spared Davros and kept him as a slave.

As a result the Daleks advanced much more quickly and became sworn enemies of the Time Lords long before the Doctor was born. As a result of this the Time Lords were more advanced when the Doctor grew up, and so his personality was changed by this.

The First Doctors early adventures with the Daleks would have also went differently in this universe as they would have been more advanced, and he would have already been familiar with them.

Perhaps the First Doctor was the first to meet Davros for instance in this reality?

It was also a different renegade Time Lord who became the Master, once again explaining the vast differences in personality.

C-Space: (Doctor Who AARU films) The universe the Peter Cushing movies take place in.

In this universe the Doctor left Gallifrey at an earlier point in his first incarnation. He left with a much younger Susan and his other grand daughter Barbara.

Just like in N-Space (as seen in The Edge of Destruction.) This Doctor visited the 4th Universe (or rather another version of it. Lets assume there is a version of the 4th universe adjacent to every parallel version of the Doctors universe.)

We know from the Edge of Destruction that the Doctor lost the TARDIS in the 4th Universe. Now in this reality the TARDIS was badly damaged when he lost it, and the Doctor in getting it back was mortally wounded and regenerated into his second incarnation (who in this reality resembled Peter Cushing rather than Patrick Troughton.)

The second Doctor, Susan and Barbara were able to make one last trip in their damaged TARDIS to the earth in the 60s. There the Second Doctor going under the alias of the eccentric human scientist Doctor Who tried to repair his TARDIS which caused its interior to change shape.

This version of the Doctor, alongside Susan, Barbara and a human male she was in a relationship with (Ian) would go other adventures in their rebuilt TARDIS as seen in Doctor Who and the Daleks and Daleks Invasion Earth 2150 AD. We don’t know the details of this Doctors later incarnations or adventures however.

Z-Space: (Doctor Omega) The universe Doctor Omega takes place in. In this reality, the Doctor left Gallifrey with Susan round about the same time as his N-Space and M-Space counterparts did.

Like them he visited the 4th Universe, but here his TARDIS was almost completely destroyed when he lost it. The Doctor however was able to preserve one small part of his former time machine, which he cannibalised into a time ring.

He then used this time ring to travel to the earth in the early 20th century with Susan. There he tried to build a new TARDIS from the ring, but ended up creating the Cosmos instead, which he later used to resume his adventures in time and space with human companions. (Leading to the events of Doctor Omega)

Susan meanwhile stayed on earth, having grown attached to this time and planet just like her counterpart did in N-Space.

In this universe the Master also never became a villain. He still left Gallifrey to become a renegade, but here he bumped into the first Doctor and Susan at an early point before his descent into darkness, and before their visit to the 4th universe;

The Doctor and Susan were both able to convince the Doctors old friend that the path he was on was wrong, leading to him becoming a hero like the Doctor.

The Master of this universe eventually goes under the alias of Professor Helvetius. he develops a fondness for earth too and remains in contact with the Doctor and Susan (even saving the Doctor from Mars as seen in Doctor Omega.)

Not much is known about this Doctor beyond his life as the first Doctor.

D-Space: The universe that Star Trek takes place in. We know from the crossover, Assimilation, that Doctor Who and Star Trek exist in the same multiverse, so this is part of the Doctor Who multiverse as well (or Doctor Who is part of the Star Trek multiverse depending on which you prefer.)

As to why the Time Lords, Daleks and Doctor Who aliens don’t exist in Star Trek, and the Star Trek aliens don’t exist in the Doctor Who universes, I see it like this.

In the Who universes, the Klingons who we know had various wars on their home planet, wiped themselves out and never spread into space, whilst life simply never evolved on Vulcan. The Vulcan we see in Power of the Daleks, a lifeless husk, is an alternate version of the one in Star Trek where life simply never evolved.

In the Trek universe meanwhile the Time Lords were similarly terrified of the Daleks and sent an agent to alter with their past. However in this universe the Doctor was never born, so they sent in another agent who not only failed, but was captured and tortured by Davros, and told him everything.

As a result of this the Daleks advanced even greater than they did in any other universe and they and the Time Lords wiped each other out in a war, away from humanity, before either race could spread out into the universe.

As a result of this the Daleks never invaded the earth in the 22nd century, and so humanity was able to advance a lot more quickly, creating the Federation.

The Sontarans meanwhile wiped each other out in a war, whilst the Borg are an alternate version of the Cybermen. Since we never find out the origin of the Borg, lets say that they came from the Trek universe’s version of Mondas, but rather than do full conversions, they only partially converted themselves, creating the Borg instead.

Unlike the Whoniverse version of the Cybermen, the Borg as they came to be known didn’t invade earth, and found a way to exist outside of Mondas and settled in the Delta Quadrant.

The Voth meanwhile are an alternate version of the Silurians of course.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Vampire Stories That Should Be Adapted For Film and TV

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There have obviously been many, many, many Vampire films and television series over the decades.

Like all other genres, some Vampire films and television series have been inspired, others fairly unoriginal, but still very enjoyable, and others just plain awful.

Whilst many horror fans may feel that Vampires are somewhat overused nowadays, personally I’m always happy to see a new Vampire story. To me they are the most interesting and varied monsters, so I think there’s always a new and interesting angle a writer can bring to them.

With this in mind the following are Vampire stories from other mediums that haven’t sadly received that much attention, but that I think would potentially make brilliant films and television series.

Let me know what you think, and if there are any overlooked Vampire stories you’d like to see on the big or small screen.

Fray

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What’s it about?

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Fray is a comic book mini series created by Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy and Angel and is set in the same fictional universe as those two series.

Fray takes place in the future of the Buffy/Angel universe, in a time when technology has advanced but little else has. Vampires are public knowledge too, but most people believe them to simply be a breed of mutant and they are referred to as lurks.

Aside from Vampires most Demons and supernatural creatures have vanished from the earth. They were apparently wiped out in a battle that took place in the middle of the 21st century, described as the ultimate battle between good and evil. (It is implied that it was Buffy and the Scooby gang who fought in the battle.)

Now however after over 100 or so years, Demons are being brought back into our world through dark magics, and as a result a new slayer is called for the first time in over a century to battle them, Melaka Fray.

Things become more complicated for Fray however when her brother Harth ends up becoming the new Vampire king of Manhattan.

Why It Would Be Great

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Fray is overall a brilliant series. Definitely Joss Whedon’s best comic book work. Its setting in the far future with hover cars, mutants, death rays, etc is also a very unusual setting for a Vampire story and could I think help it to stand out from other pieces of Vampire fiction. It would need a larger budget to do its setting justice, but that might not be a problem given Joss Whedon’s recent success.

Fray is also a somewhat more unusual leading character than Buffy too. Unlike Buffy or even Angel she is perfectly willing to murder evil people, including her own watcher, (who murdered someone close to her and framed a Vampire in order to inspire Fray to hunt the undead.)

Fray in many ways is more of a hothead, yet also at other times more practical than Buffy or Faith. She doesn’t tend to let her personal problems affect her life to quite the same extent as Buffy.

She’s also a bit more unpolished compared to other female heroes too. Fray carries a massive scar that runs down her face, similar to the Wishverse version of Buffy.

Finally another reason I think a Fray series would do well is obviously because of its connection to Buffy and Angel. Both series are still rightfully regarded as classics and have massive followings. As seen with the success of the Buffy and Angel comics, many people evidently want more stories set in that universe.

I don’t think that you could bring Buffy and Angel back to television now however.

Its not because the concepts or style are outdated, its more simply because I think too much time has passed for the cast. Angel and Spike for instance are meant to be immortal characters, and whilst James Marsters and David Borearnaz have aged very well, ultimately as it is 15 years on then they have changed perhaps a bit too much.

Fray however could continue the story and universe, and you might even be able to have Buffy characters pop up in the series from time to time. For instance one issue of season 8 of Buffy sees her travel forward into the future and even work alongside Fray. This could easily be adapted as an episode with Sarah Michelle Gellar reprising her role.  This same issue also reveals that Willow at some point tragically gave into being Dark Willow again and has become a major villain in Fray’s time, working alongside Harth.

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Buffy and Fray in the future take on Dark Willow.

It would be an absolutely sensational story arc to have Dark Willow be the main villain of a season of Fray. Though it might be too controversial for Buffy fans, depending on what way they went with it.

Overall I think Fray is just screaming to be adapted as a television series. With its interesting setting and premise, unique and gritty female lead and its connection not just with Buffy and Angel, but to Joss Whedon, a major cult figure. I think it would be guaranteed to develop a very devoted cult following at the very least.

The Cast?

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Dana Delorenzo would in my opinion be the best choice for Fray.

For those of you who don’t know who she is, Dana Delorenzo is an American actress best known for playing Kelly Maxwell, a main character on the horror series Ash Vs Evil Dead.

Though it sadly only lasted for 3 series, Ash Vs Evil Dead has still developed a very large and devoted following, and Delorenzo’s foul mouthed, short fused Demon slayer is without doubt the most popular character in the series alongside its lead, Ash himself.

Delorenzo is also an impressionist too. She used to be a professional Amy Winehouse impersonator due to her rather staggering physical resemblance to the late singer. She was even in an Amy Winehouse tribute band.

I honestly can’t think of anyone better to play Fray than Dana. As you can see she could handle the physicality of the role perfectly. She’d also be able to capture the more gritty aspects of the character too, better than a lot of other actresses. How many leading actors do you think would be happy to do a scene where their heads were dumped in toilet water by a Demon puppet, perving them up like Dana did in Ash Vs Evil Dead?

Dana’s personality as Kelly also matches Fray in that on the one hand she is quite level headed and practical, but on the other she has quite an explosive temper. Finally Dana also has the right look for Fray. Short, more exotic, darker good looks, and a constantly angry expression on her face.

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In my opinion Delorenzo would be as well cast as Fray as Sarah Michelle Gellar was as Buffy.

As for Harth, Fray’s Vampiric brother, I think Robbie Kay would be a good choice. Kay is a young and very talented actor who is probably best known for playing an evil version of Peter Pan in Once Upon A Time.

This version of Peter Pan was originally a lazy bum named Malcolm who gave up his only son Rumplestiltskin in order to return to being a boy and live forever on the magical island of Neverland.

This of course later led to Robbie Kay playing Robert Carlyle, who plays Rumple as an adult’s father on screen. I must say though that Robbie pulled it off brilliantly. You completely bought that Robbie Kay was Robert Carlyle’s father, in spite of how ridiculous it may have seemed on the surface.

Harth in many ways is similar to Pan. Like Pan he is a relative of the main hero. He has a boyish, somewhat friendly look, but underneath is very cruel, manipulative and cold. He also like Pan is not above pretending he still cares about his loved one to his advantage, and he is also again despite his young appearance, the cruel and tyrannical leader of a powerful group of supernatural creatures.

There are two problems however with Robbie’s casting. First of all his accent doesn’t match Dana’s. He could obviously adopt an American accent, but his natural English accent is part of his screen presence. Also he might be a bit too young to play Dana’s twin brother.

Dana is 35 years old. She could easily pass for at least 10 years younger (not that 35 is old of course.)

Still whilst Dana can pass for her early 20s no problem, Robbie does look like a teenager. Still you could get round that by having it that he was sired as a teenager and its been a few years for Fray, but obviously Harth hasn’t aged.

As long as he could do a good American accent then Robbie for me would be absolutely perfect as Fray.

Please someone make this happen!

The Legacy of Kain Series

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What’s It About?

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Set in the mythical land of Nosgoth, this series follows the adventures of Kain, formerly a young nobleman who is resurrected as a Vampire by the Necromancer Mortainus. Kain as Vampire initially despises his condition and seeks to find a way to turn back, before eventually embracing his destiny and becoming the king of the Vampires.

The series sees Kain constantly struggle against the Circle of Nine, powerful sorcerers who control the fate of Nosgoth. In various entries in the series Kain even manages to change the history of Nosgoth, turning it from a land where Vampires are all but extinct, to one where Kain rules a massive Vampire empire that covers.

Later entries in the series follow Kain’s rivalry with his son, Razziel. Razziel, also a Vampire is thrown by Kain into a bit of never ending torment after defying him, but manages to survive only to re-emerge later as a mutated soul devouring Vampire.

Razziel is condemned to a slow torturous death by his father only to return as a more powerful adversary later.

Whilst Razziel seeks to destroy his father, the two nevertheless do work together in other entries to try and in their eyes, save Nosgoth.

Razziel and Kain’s somewhat complicated relationship.

Throughout the series Kain wavers between an anti hero and an outright villain, but he always remains convinced that he is doing the right thing.

Why It Would Be Great?

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The Legacy of Kain is easily one of the greatest video game series ever made.  Its effects storyline and voice acting is still some of the best there has ever been in the medium.

Of course not everything that works in a video game works in other mediums, but I think a television series of the Legacy of Kain would translate really well onto television.

On tv I think it would stand out somewhat more. We don’t see that many Vampire television series or films that take place in a mythical fantasy land like Nosgoth. They usually take place in modern day or in Gothic surroundings.

Also Kain and Razziel are very unusual leading Vampire characters. They are truly monstrous in appearance. (Razziel is missing the lower half of his jaw!) Most good guy Vampires are portrayed as sexy like Spike, Angel, Vampirella etc for obvious reasons.

Also Kain and Razziel are a little bit more complex than other Vampire protagonists too. They aren’t motivated by being in love with someone, or even in just in being a better person. They both want to challenge destiny, defy the will of the gods and shape the world in a way that they believe to be better.

The fact that The Legacy of Kain also deals with time travel too is also a somewhat unusual subject for Vampire fiction.

The Legacy of Kain television series would obviously need to have a large budget to do its exotic and colourful settings justice, but still if done right I think Legacy of Kain could be a Game of Thrones style gritty, violent fantasy series.

The Cast?

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Kain would have to be played by Simon Templeman who voiced the character in the original games. The character would have to be made older of course, but that’s okay. Small price to pay to get Simon Templeman back. Templeman to me has the best voice for a villain.

Among his other notable roles include The Angel of Death in Charmed, the psychotic spectre Pervayne in Angel, and Doctor Doom is the classic 90s animated version of the Fantastic Four.

Sadly however Michael Ball the voice actor for Razziel is too old to play the character. He is 80 years old! Instead I think Michael Fassbender would do a brilliant job at capturing the characters passion, fanaticism and more complex personality.

Vampirella

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What’s It About?

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Originally the character of Vampirella was portrayed as an alien from the planet Drakulon, where blood flows in rivers. As the blood begins to dry up however due to the planets two suns, Vampirella is sent to earth to try and find a way for her kind to survive. It is said that centuries ago another member of her kind, Dracula visited the earth and was able to survive on the planet. Vampirella soon discovers that this is because her species can survive on the blood of humans.

Though giving into her thirst initially, Vampirella eventually is able to control her dark urges and works to help fight the evil members of her kind who were created on earth by Dracula, (who also goes on to become her archenemy.)

Many decades later when Vampirella was revived her origins were changed so that she had been sent from hell by her mother, Lilith, the mother of all Vampires to help mankind. Lilith was initially believed to be seeking redemption for her sins in creating the Vampire race, but it was later revealed that she had her own evil plans for her daughter.

Why It Would Be Great?

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Vampirella is the original Vampire superhero. There had obviously been benevolent Vampire characters in fiction before Vampirella, such as most notably Carmilla Karnstein. However these characters were usually just love struck, mopey heroes who wanted to give up being Vampires and have a normal life.

Vampirella marked the first time we saw a Vampire actively hunt other members of its kind and other supernatural creatures such as Witches, Demons and Werewolves.

Also whilst super strength and other incredible abilities had been a feature of Vampire myths throughout the ages, Vampirella was really the first time where these powers were used in a more overt way like a superhero.

We wouldn’t just see Vampirella overpower her victim like Dracula. We’d see her jump hundreds of feet through the air, beat up dozens of guys at once, move at lightening speed, dodge and catch bullets etc.

In this respect Vampirella is really one of the most pivotal characters in Vampire fiction, helping to pave the way for the likes of Blade and Angel. Sadly however despite this whilst she has a following, Vampirella remains somewhat overlooked in comparison to other Vampire characters.

Its amazing that save a terrible 1996 straight to video film there has never been a proper adaptation of the character either. Apparently there was an attempt to make a serious film version by Hammer in the 70s which would have starred Peter Cushing as Van Helsing, and Caroline Munro as Vampirella, but sadly it was never made.

I think there could be a lot of value in a Vampirella tv series. Most brooding Vampire heroes tend to be guys, like Angel, Blade, Spike, Mitchell from Being Human. It might be interesting to see a female version of this type of character. Vampirella also had an interesting collection of supporting characters and villains culled from various myths and Vampire stories such as Lilith that could be exploited too.

As for which of her origins to use, well I think you could maybe merge both of them together so as to incorporate elements from the characters entire history.

You could have it that Vampirella instead comes from an alternate universe where Vampires have overrun humanity. Perhaps in this universe, Van Helsing failed to stop Dracula when he was in London during the events of Stokers novel. Remember that in Stokers original novel, Dracula is only in London so that he can use the British empire to spread Vampirism around the world like never before and eventually overrun humanity.

Maybe in Vampirella’s universe Dracula succeeded after killing Van Helsing and now humans are nothing but cattle, with there being rivers of blood and all other supernatural creatures having been enslaved by Vampires too, just like Draculon from the comics, but at the same time its effectively a hell dimension like her later origins.

Maybe the alternate world has even been renamed Draculon! Of course in the first episode you’d have Dracula and Vampirella, the last hope for the last group of human resistance accidentally get transported to our reality whilst dueling with each other (in our universe Dracula just as in Stokers novel was obviously killed by Van Helsing in the early 20th century, explaining why Vampires haven’t overrun our earth.)

You could also later have Lilith be the one who engineered Dracula and Vampirella to be transported into another universe through a spell like in Vampirella’s later origins, so that Lilith could take over in Dracula’s absence. However after she takes over Lilith finds out that the humans the Vampires feed on have been hunted so extensively that they are dying out, and so she decides to lead her army to our earth.

Much like with Buffy, Vampirella also fights various other monsters such as Demons, Werewolves and Witches and so the stories wouldn’t have to just stick to Vampires either.

The Cast?

Its hard just whittling it down to one choice for Vampirella, but I’d say my top choice would probably be Katarina Law.

Best known for playing Nyssa Al Ghul in Arrow, Katarina has the right look for the part, can cope really well with action roles, and is a great actress all around who could easily carry her own series.

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Famke Janssen best known for her roles in various action and cult films such as Goldeneye, the X-Men film series, and The Faculty would make a brilliant Lilith too. She’s great at playing really nasty villains and she’s physically quite imposing too.

 

The Monster Club

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What’s It About?

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The Monster Club is an anthology horror novel by R Chetwynd Hayes. It was adapted as a film in 1980. I’m only going to be talking about the film here as sadly I haven’t had a chance to get a hold of the book yet, though its on my to do list.

The films premise sees a horror author attacked by a Vampire named Erasmus, who pretends to be a homeless man. Erasmus does not kill the horror author however after recognising him and invites the author for a drink at the local monster club.

There Erasmus tells the author three real stories about monsters.

The first story is about a Shadmock named Raven. Shadmock’s are hybrid monster creatures, who kill using a deadly whistle which burns their victims. Shadmock’s can’t always control their whistle however and will sometimes unleash them on their victims in a moment of anger or stress.

Raven is a wealthy, kind hearted individual, who keeps away from people so as not harm anyone. Unfortunately however he soon becomes the target of two con artists, Angela and her boyfriend George.

Raven soon falls in love with Angela and even proposes to her. Though Angela does develop a genuine friendship with the Shadmock and doesn’t want to hurt him. George forces her to go along with the scam. Things become too much for Angela however when she meets Raven’s strange monstrous relatives, and later when Raven finds Angela trying to steal the money from his safe, he willingly hands it over to her pitifully telling her “You could still love me”.

Angela however having finally snapped from the pressure screams at Raven that she could never love him as he is a hideous monster and Raven in grief unleashes his whistle which completely destroys Angela’s face. When Angela returns to George, he is driven insane by the sight of her mutilated face and ends up in a catatonic state for the rest of his life.

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Angela after the Shadmock’s whistle destroys her face. Ironically her final words to her boyfriend before sending him into a permanent catatonic state are “you could still love me.”

The second story revolves around a Vampire who still has a normal human family. Unfortunately despite seemingly being reformed the Vampire is still the target of a group of dedicated Vampire hunters. The Vampire however after tricking their leader is able to turn him, resulting in the Vampire hunter being slain by his own men.

The final story sees a film director named Sam stumble upon an old town named Loughville whilst searching for an atmospheric setting to shoot his new film.

As soon as he arrives in Loughville, Sam is confronted by several decrepit old men who tell him he will never leave. When he tries to get away in his car, Sam finds it has been sabotaged and is attacked by the residents.

Barely escaping to a nearby house, Sam soon meets a young woman named Luna. She explains to him that the residents of the village are hideous flesh eating Demons called Ghouls. She says that she is a half human, half Ghoul, and that her mother was a traveller who stumbled upon the village where she was raped by the Ghouls, and then eaten alive after she gave birth to Luna. Luna says that the monsters have devoured countless other travellers who have strayed too close to the village and tells Sam that the only place he will be safe is in the local church.

Sam barely makes it to the Church, which the unholy monsters can’t enter. Whilst there he discovers the rotting skeleton of a priest as well as his diary, which details the chilling circumstances of how Loughville came to be overrun by the Ghouls.

Originally Loughville was just a normal town, but at some point its people discovered a Ghoul lurking in a local graveyard. The villagers wanted to kill the abomination, but the Priest foolishly thought he could rehabilitate the monster and took it into his house.

Later however he discovered the beast feasting on the corpse of one of its victims. He chased the Ghoul away, but by then it was too late and the monster was able to summon a horde of Ghouls who quickly overran Loughville.

The Priest escaped to the church, but he was too scared to try and escape and eventually died of dehydration in the church. The final entry in his diary mentions that even as he writes he can hear the howls of the ravenous Ghouls outside.

The Ghouls soon turn on Luna for helping Sam and try to eat her. Sam is able to ward them off with a cross and get Luna inside the Church. Luna warns Sam that soon the Elders will return to the village. The Elders regularly make visits to the London underground where they snatch unsuspecting victims and take them back to the village. Luna states that the Elders are far stronger than the regular Ghouls and that they won’t escape if they return.

Sam and Luna make a run for it through the woods, carrying a cross to ward the Ghouls away. Unfortunately just as they are about to escape, Luna’s own Ghoul father kills her by throwing a rock at her head.

Sam escapes to the motorway meanwhile where he is picked up by two policemen who promise to help him. However the policemen drive back to the village and explain to Sam that they are actually the escorts for the elders when they visit London, whose car Sam can see driving behind them.

To Sam’s horror the car arrives back in the village square where the monsters swarm the car, and the two policemen turn round revealing their monstrous teeth to the petrified film director who is then eaten alive.

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Sam finds out the hard way that there is sometimes corruption in the Police force.

After entertaining the author with the three stories, Erasmus insists that he be made a member of the Monster Club. Despite the fact that humans aren’t monsters, Erasmus is able to convince the owner of the club (a Werewolf) that humans are evil by listing all of the horrible things they have done to each other and the author is made an honorary member.

Why It Would Be Great

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Okay now I know that this book has already been made into a film in 1981 starring horror icons John Carradine and Vincent Price. The film is great fun and at places genuinely terrifying such as in the Ghoul story.

Still I think that it could also be the basis for an interesting television series. I would keep the same basic premise for the television series as the film and the book, but obviously change a few things around for practicality sake. I would have the horror author from the book arrive in a city, famous for its ghost sightings, and monster stories to get inspiration for his latest book, only to discover that the stories are real!

He would just as in the movie befriend Erasmus, who in this version would be a reformed Vampire. The Monster Club would in turn also be a place for reformed Monsters who use their powers for good to chill out after a day of saving the world.

The main characters aside from Erasmus would of course be Raven, the son of the Vampire from the second story, and Luna, (who I would reveal had survived being hit on the head. The way I see it, she’s half Ghoul so she has to have some kind of special Ghoul powers. Maybe she was stronger than she thought, and awoke a few hours later, slipping away from the Ghouls who also thought she had died?)

Together they would be a group who fight monsters such as Vampires, Ghouls and Werewolves. The series would blend humour and genuine horror together just like the original film and novel.

The book and film have such rich backstories and mythology for their monsters its a shame we don’t get to see more, which obviously the tv show would exploit.

The book features an interesting idea of Vampires, Ghouls and Werewolves being the three original monster races, with all of the others like the Shadmock being hybrids of some kind.

I’d love to see some of the other monster hybrids in action and see their powers. Its a shame that we only get to see a Shadmock. Also how do the different monster breeds view each other?

Maybe some hybrids consider themselves superior to the original monsters as they have all of their powers and fewer of their weaknesses?

Added to that a lot of the characters in the three stories I feel have more potential to exploit in a tv show. Luna for instance has potential to be a really interesting heroine. A half human, half Ghoul who at first finds it hard to adjust to human society, who has a lifetime of horror in the Ghoul village to overcome (including watching her own mother be eaten alive by hordes of monsters, including her own father!) Then there is also the fact that Luna herself was forced to eat the remains of the Ghouls victims too!

Similarly the Shadmock is a tragic character who could be so torn over the guilt at destroying the woman he loves, that he is determined to make up for it.

At the same time the Vampire character from the second story could also be made into a darker character. Perhaps he keeps his wife and son around simply as a cover? Maybe his wife is being forced through hypnosis like the Priest in Dracula Has Risen From The Grave or Renfield in the Lugosi Dracula to protect him during the day, but every minute she is struggling to break free. We could also see how the Vampire abuses his son in an attempt to crush all humanity out of him so that when he is older he can turn him into a more effective Vampire.

The boy however would escape his father, and devote himself to killing his father, becoming a Vampire hunter, whilst his father would be determined to make his son pay for blowing his cover too.

The Vampire hunter (played by Donald Pleasance in the film) who is turned could also an interesting villain for the main characters. Much like Gordon Walker in Supernatural he would be a Vampire who hates being a Vampire but can’t control his bloodlust and so he ends up being dangerous to everyone and everything around him.

There are also a number of other characters from the anthology who could make effective villains. Angela for instance would be a great archenemy for Raven. After he destroyed her face and made her an outcast like him, she would be determined to make him pay.

Luna meanwhile would have the Elders and her own Ghoul father as her foes. It would be cool if they made the Elders (who we don’t actually see in the film) look like the Ghouls in these terrifying illustrations we see in the priests account of how Loughville fell.

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Ghouls are very under represented in horror movies and television series compared to other favourite monsters like Vampires, Demons, Witches, Zombies and Werewolves. We never see them as the main villains in any major franchise for instance, so a Monster Club tv show could finally give them a big role. 

Again it feels like we only scratch the surface of the Elders in both the book and the film. We know that they are more powerful than regular Ghouls, that they travel to the city and snatch people in the London underground to bring back to the Ghoul village. We also know that they have eyes and ears outside the village, including most disturbingly of all, in the police force!

There is so much potential in the Ghouls backstory. We could see stories involving the Elders creeping about the dark streets of London, picking people off, or stories that explore how they have agents across human society in the police force, or even in other areas such as the government, maybe even the entertainment industry! We could see how there are hundreds of towns like Loughville across the world, and they are all in some way connected, with the Elders working through a network with one another.

We could see how the monsters have even managed to take over modern cities, albeit in more discreet ways than Loughville as they have to work under the radar.

I would also love to see a story where Luna returns to Loughville to destroy it and we get to see the town in a greater detail, including the cages where the Ghouls keep their victims locked up, as well as the remains of Sam and of course the return of Luna’s abusive, monstrous father.

There’s an entire wealth of stories just waiting to be used in the universe R Chetwynd Hayes created.

The Cast?

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I think that Noel Fielding would be a great choice for the role Erasmus. For Erasmus you’d need someone who is quite optimistic, yet has quite a dark sense of humour. Someone who can happily tell their victim that their blood was the nicest he ever drank and hope they’ll take it as a compliment.

Noel is a great comedy actor and he has experience playing weird and over the top monsters like the Hitcher, the Spirit of Jazz, Tony Harrison and of course Old Gregg!

I am sure he could come up with a suitably over the top and lovable personality for Erasmus.

I’d also love to see Noel play other monster roles in the series too. I think he would do a brilliant job as one of the Elders too. Of course his performance as the Elder would have to be more frightening. I think it would be interesting to see Noel try and tackle playing a a proper horror movie monster. A lot of his characters like the Spirit of Jazz and The Hitcher are bordering on being genuinely creepy. You can imagine how with a little tweaking the Hitcher could be a genuine horror movie villain. A green skinned monster who enjoys stabbing and raping people!

As for who could play the horror author, well I think Noel’s comedy partner, Julian Barratt would be excellent.

Julian is a great comedy and serious actor. He’s really good at playing pompous know nothing know it all’s and I think he could bring a lot of humour to the author character, yet not too much that they couldn’t have him be involved in serious storylines.

As for Raven I could definitely see Reece Shearsmith playing him. Shearsmith who is best known as a member of the League of Gentlemen is a lifelong horror fan and I can see him coming up with an interesting look and somewhat more nuanced performance for the tormented but hot tempered Shadmock.

As for Luna I think that Ingrid Oliver would be great. I admit I LOVE Ingrid Oliver so I pretty much want to cast her in anything. Still I think she would bring a lot of vulnerability and strength to the role as seen with her performances as Natalie in Peep Show and Osgood in Doctor Who.

The Witches

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What’s It About?

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A Roald Dahl novel, The Witches revolves around an old former Witch hunter and her grandson (neither are named in the novel, but in the film the grandmother is named Helga, whilst the boy is named Luke.)

Helga warns Luke about Witches who are said to be Demons that take on human form. Witches despise children above all else and torture and kill them using their spells.

According to Helga Witches are all bald, have purple eyes, long talons, and square toes which they cover up in various ways when luring children away to murder.

 

Despite Helga’s warnings however Luke is later captured by the Grand High Witch of England (who poses as the head of a children’s charity!)

The Witch uses Luke as a test subject for her new potion, which turns him into a mouse!

Luke and Helga soon discover that the Witches are attempting to spike candy bars all over England with this poison and turn every child into a mouse!

Fortunately however with Luke’s help, Helga is able to turn the tables on the Witches and spike their own food with the poison, causing them to all turn into rats where they are hacked to pieces in a hotel.

The ending of the book and the film differ from this point. In the film one of the Witches (played by Jane Horrocks) reforms and reverses the spell turning Luke back into a boy. In the book however there is no good Witch (as such a thing simply cannot exist.)

Thus there is no way to turn Luke back from being a mouse, and he will only live another 9 years. Still Luke and his mother decide to hunt down the remaining Witches and wipe them out using their own poison.

Why It Would Be Great?

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Okay I know there are two things I have to address. First of all this is not a Vampire story, and second, its already been adapted.

However I’m going to make an exception in including the Witches here. First of all whilst it might not be a Vampire movie it does still follow all of the tropes laid down by Vampire stories. Its basic plot is somewhat similar to the two modern day Hammer Dracula’s, Dracula AD 1972 and The Satanic Rites of Dracula starring Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee for instance.

Both revolve around an old grand parent, who used to be a monster hunter, both see them come across their archenemy, the alluring, but utterly loathsome leader of a race of monsters. Both see the leader of the monsters target their enemy’s grand child, and both see the monster using aspects of the modern world to keep hidden in plain sight, whilst intending to launch a plague with horrifying effects.

Also whilst the 1990 Witches film adaptation is one of my favourite films, I think that it might be quite interesting to base a television series around the Witches.

The series would follow Luke and Helga travelling the world killing Witches. It would obviously have to take a few liberties to be adapted. Much like the film, Luke would have had to have been turned back into a human after the Witches were destroyed.

You could include the reformed Witch character from the film if you wanted, or you could just simply have it that after slaying the Grand High Witch, Helga was able to find a way to reverse the potion. She is a Van Helsing style expert on the occult after all. It shouldn’t be too hard.

You’d have it set about ten years after the events of the novel, with Luke now being 18 and you’d obviously have to add at least one or two more characters so it wasn’t just Luke and his grandmother all the time.

Also I think you would need to change it so that the Witches were not an all female race of monsters. I don’t think the original novel was sexist because of this. In fact quite the opposite. I think its great that women got a chance to play one of the scariest monsters in all of horror. Normally the most terrifying monsters are men, like Dracula, the Daleks, Freddy Krueger etc,  whilst female monsters and villains in general such as Catwoman tend to be more sympathetic. So it was good to see a female monster for once who was evil as you could imagine.

 

However in the current climate I think having a show about a young man go around killing female monsters would just stir things up. The SJWs and the anti SJWs would probably both try and claim the show. You’d get people saying the show encourages violence against women, and you’d get people saying that the Witches are a metaphor for feminists, and Luke is a symbol of men fighting back against Third Wave Feminism.

Its sad but its true that in the current climate almost nothing can be apolitical anymore. Of course its the SJWs fault for trying to find sexism in EVERYTHING. Its only natural that the anti SJW side would soon start to do the same and slap their agenda on everything they can. Still that’s the way things are, so I think it would be better to simply have it that Warlocks also exist in this version and they are the same as Witches.

I wouldn’t bother to have there be any power struggle between Witches and Warlocks either so as not to get it dragged down in any more feminist vs anti feminist crap. Just have some cells be commanded by a Grand High Witch and others by a Grand High Warlock.

Of course in keeping with the book, then the main villains would all be Witches, with the Warlocks usually just being mooks. The Grand High Witch would obviously still be heroes archenemy.  The same way that most Vampires we see in Buffy are men, even though we know that women can be Vampires, then this would just be the same in reverse.

I think the Witches would offer more different roles for women than we see in other genre series.

The role of the grandmother is almost always one that is occupied by a man. Whether that’s Peter Cushing, Ruper Giles, Abraham Whistler, Bobby Singer. The crusty old mentor figure who is a paternal figure to the younger heroes, who knows everything there is to know about Vampires, Demons, Witches and monsters, who has countless books on the occult, who loves reading about the occult, who is old, but still tough as an old pair of boots and at times quite ruthless.

This character is always a man, so I think it would be interesting to give us a female version of this type of character who was a mentor to a younger male character like Luke and Helga.

The Witches also wouldn’t have to be bound just to Witches all the time. At the start of the book, Helga mentions that there are various other monster species including Ghouls, but none of these creatures make an appearance.

In the television series however you could do episodes that focus on these monsters. I think you could actually have The Witches and Monster Club television series take place in the same universe, and even have crossovers between them. I think their style would mesh as they are both very British and both whilst having moments of genuine terror, also have a somewhat tongue in cheek aspect to them too.

The Cast?

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For the role of the Grandmother I think that Jenny Agutter would be marvellous. Jenny Agutter is a highly respected British actress known for her wide range of roles in various film and television series such as Call the Midwife, Logans Run and An American Werewolf in London.

She’s good at playing quite practical, level headed characters, but at the same time she also has a very warm, caring aspect to her too as seen in the poignant final moments in An American Werewolf in London where she attempts to talk David down.

As for the Grand High Witch, you’d need to get someone who much like Anjelica Huston is strikingly beautiful, yet can also play a grotesque monster really well.

I think that Lucy Lawless best known for playing Xena the Warrior Princess would be an amazing Grand High Witch. Lucy obviously looks amazing normally, but when she wants to she can really ham it up gloriously as a grotesque monster, as seen in many episodes of Xena where Xena gets turned into a Demon, a Vampire, and a monster of some kind. She’s also a brilliant villain as seen in Spartacus Blood and Sand, Ash Vs Evil Dead and even Xena herself before she was reformed.

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Don’t tell me you couldn’t see her as the Grand High Witch.

Katey Sagal an actress best known for her roles in Futurama, Sons of Anarchy and Married with Children would also make a great Grand High Witch. Like Lucy Lawless and Anjelica Huston she is physically quite imposing and she can do nasty really well too.

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Another great choice for the role would be Michelle Gomez. Now obviously I absolutely despise her most well known role, that of Missy, the female version of the Master in Doctor Who. However in all fairness that’s not because I dislike her. I think that everything about the character of Missy from why it happened, to the way it was written was terrible. The actress almost didn’t matter.

Michelle Gomez, Missy aside is a good actress, and she is certainly good at playing crazy and nasty people. I could easily see her playing a really menacing Witch. Whilst she’s not physically very tall, in the original novel the Grand High Witch is actually said to be very petite in both frame and stature so Michelle could actually be a more faithful interpretation than even Anjelica Huston’s.

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Of course as there is meant to be more than one Grand High Witch then you could have all 3 actresses play Witches at various points in the series. Why settle for one crazy bitch?

American Vampire

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What’s It About?

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American Vampire is a comic book series created by Scott Snyder, Rafael Albuergqueqe and Stephen King. Its premise revolves around the idea of there being various different species of Vampires, giving rise to the different myths and legends over the centuries.

The series follows an outlaw named Skinner Sweet who is the first of a new breed of Vampire, immune to many of their standard weaknesses and limitations such as sunlight.

The series primarily follows his life throughout the 20th century as well as his battles with other Vampire breeds, and his somewhat complicated relationship a young woman named Pearl Jones, who he turns in order to save, and who then goes on to wage war against a pack of European Vampires who had ruined her life as a human.

Why It Would Be Great?

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American Vampire has a particularly interesting premise with its blending of different Vampire myths and settings across various different periods in American history. Its Vampire protagonists are also not really good guys either. More villain protagonists who are slightly less evil than the Vampires they are facing. Skinner Sweet is a sociopathic murderer even before he becomes a Vampire!

I think it might work better as a film series than a television one.

The Cast?

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For Skinner Sweet I think Boyd Holbrook would be excellent. Holbrook is best known for playing the sadistic villain Donald Pierce in Logan. With Skinner he could give us a Vampire protagonist that is genuinely difficult to like, but still engaging on screen.

Michelle Rodriguez meanwhile would be great for Pearl. Who plays tragic, badass action heroines better than her?

Tomb of Dracula

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What’s It About?

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Tomb of Dracula was a long running Marvel comic. It told the history of Dracula, showing his life as Vlad the Impaler, when he first becomes a Vampire, when he kills the then current king of the Vampires, Nimrod and takes his place, his attempts to spread Vampirism across the world, his battles against the Van Helsing family and his own half human, half Vampire daughter, Lilith and his many deaths and resurrections over the centuries.

Later series see Dracula battle the Night Stalkers a group of Vampire hunters which include Drake, Dracula’s human descendent, Rachel Van Helsing, reformed Vampire Detective Hannibal King, half human, half Vampire Eric Brooks (Blade) and Quincy Harker, a descendent of Jonathan Harker.

Why It Would Be Great?

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Obviously there has already been an adaptation of Blade, and I liked the Blade trilogy. It was in its own way innovative and influential.

Still it wasn’t really faithful in anyway to the original source material. Its versions of Dracula, Blade, Hannibal King and Frost were all drastically different to the Marvel versions, whilst characters like Quincy Harker and Rachel Van Helsing were replaced with the Whistler family. Other characters like Lilith were omitted completely meanwhile.

Personally I’d love to see a version that stays closer to the original. The Marvel Dracula could actually be the definitive version of Stokers Vampire.

It manages to capture all of the elements that we see in the most famous versions of Dracula. There’s the physical, savage aspect and the sadism of Christopher Lee, the hypnotic, sinister gentlemanly qualities of Bela Lugosi, the romantic qualities of Dracula’s like Jack Palance, Frank Langella and Gary Oldman, and finally he also captures the arrogant, Vampire King who wants to rule the earth aspect of Stokers original Vampire.

I think the television series based on Tomb of Dracula would probably feature the Nightstalkers as the main characters, but that would be okay. We could still see Dracula’s long history unfold via flashbacks.

I think it would also be better if they set it in the 1970s too. Whilst the stories could be adapted to modern day fairly easily, I think that the 70s setting would help the series stand out more.

The Cast?

For the role of Quincy Harker I think Tim Curry would be an excellent choice. Tim Curry obviously needs no introduction. He is one of the greatest British actors of all time, famous for his wonderfully over the top performances in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Legend, Clue, Muppets Treasure Island and IT.

Sadly Curry suffered a stroke in 2012 and now uses a wheelchair. However fortunately he can still speak, and continues to act, having done both voice over work, such as in Over The Garden Wall, and live action work, such as the 2016 remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show where he played the Narrator.

Now the character of Quincy Harker is in a wheel chair too, so physically there wouldn’t be any problems in Curry’s current condition. Also I think Curry would be right for the role as Harker is an old eccentric, very British, stiff upper lip type character that Curry plays so brilliantly in films like Clue.

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As for Dracula himself I think Aidan Gillen would be good. He is a brilliant villain as seen with his performances in Game of Thrones and Shanghai Knights, however he is also able to bring a certain gravitas to his performances that would help to flesh the Marvel Dracula out.

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For Rachel Van Helsing meanwhile I think Heida Reed would be brilliant. Whilst best known for her role in Poldark, what really made me think she would be great was her performance as Joecyln Peabody in the recent audio version of Dan Dare, a similar brainy heroine who fights monsters. She’d have to dye her hair blonde, but other than that I think she would be excellent.

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Rachel would undoubtedly be the main character of the series, but Heida Reed would be more than capable of carrying her own series in my opinion.

For Hannibal King meanwhile I’d like to see James McAvoy as the famous Vampire Detective. King is supposed to be a very thoughtful, sensitive character which is why Ryan Reynolds, no offence intended to the man, didn’t really do the character justice.

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For Blade I think D.B. Woodside would be an excellent choice. He has already played a kick ass Vampire hunter, Robin Wood in Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 7, and his recent role as Uriel in Lucifer further shows how well he can cope with action and genre roles too.

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Finally for Lilith I think Morven Christie would be great. Morven is a character actress who is known for playing somewhat complicated, tormented, even villainous characters, so I’m sure she’d be able to get into the characters complex personality no problem.

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The Federal Vampire/Zombie Agency

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What’s It About?

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The Federal Vampire/Zombie Agency is a website that is written from an in-universe perspective. It was later adapted into a comic book miniseries.

It details an alternate history of the world where Vampires, Zombies and Werewolves were public knowledge with humanity throughout its entire history. The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency was set up to deal with the threat these monsters posed to humanity.

Vampires, Zombies and Werewolves are not supernatural creatures in the Federal Vampire/Zombie Agency universe. They are the result of mutations and viruses, and all of their powers, and specific weaknesses are explained away through rational means.

The Vampires in the Federal Vampire/Zombie Agency are truly hideous, pitiful creatures who live in squalid little caves, are impotent, and their bodies literally rot away into nothing.

Killing them is seen as an act of mercy by the FVZA.

Why It Would Be Great?

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The Federal Vampire/Zombie Agency would be the basis for a really dark and frightening Vampire television series.

Its definitely the anti Twilight, anti Vampire Diaries in that it makes being a Vampire look like the most horrifying thing imaginable.

Vampires in the FVZA are bald, ugly, rotting, impotent monsters who live in caves, and fight each other for dominance.

The fact that its Vampires are also created through rational and scientific means could also help the series stand out somewhat from almost all other popular pieces of Vampire fiction which are obviously more fantasy based.

The Cast?

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The leading character in the FVZA series would have to be Doctor Pecos, the world’s greatest expert on Vampires.

Personally I think that Peter Capaldi would be brilliant as Pecos. Capaldi is great at playing the older, angry, insufferable genius type. Sadly during his tenure as the Doctor he was somewhat wasted, though I won’t go into why again here as that’s been covered many times before.

Still hopefully Doctor Pecos would make a better use of his talents. In my opinion Peter Capaldi needs to play a Vampire hunter. He has the right look for it. He kind of reminds me a little bit of Peter Cushing, arguably the greatest onscreen Vampire hunter of them all.

Capaldi is a massive fan of Peter Cushing and even bases his autograph on Cushing’s so I think if given a chance to play a Cushing style Vampire hunter/expert he would really relish the chance.

Thank you for reading, and let me know which overlooked Vampire or supernatural stories you’d like to see adapted.

 

The Worst Types of Sci Fi and Fantasy Fans

Fandom can be a tricky thing. On the one hand when a show, comic book or film develops a devoted fan following they can help keep it alive through dark times, ensure that it is never forgotten and work hard to make sure it gets the respect its due in the industry.

Sadly however at other times, fans can end up sinking the thing they love and even in extreme cases, salt the earth so that future writers and directors can’t or won’t ever go near it ever again!

They accomplish this either by taking their favourite franchise over, or forcing the writers to do things their way by slandering them in the media.

In this article I am going to look at who are the worst types of fans and why pandering to these people will kill a franchise stone dead, or at least make it a shadow of its former self.

The Purist Fan Myth

Before we start I’d just like to dispel one myth that the worst type of fan to pander to is the purist fan. Now obviously a fan who can’t stand any kind of change will never be happy, but to be honest those types of fans are in the extreme minority.

Most purist fans are happy with some change, but they just want the product to remain recognisable as what it was originally in some way.

Take for instance the Heath Ledger Joker and the Peter Cushing version of Van Helsing. Both are in many ways different from the original versions, yet both are arguably the most beloved adaptations from die hard fans.

The Ledger Joker doesn’t have perma white skin like the original Joker, whilst Cushing’s Van Helsing is a younger, more physically active character, who has devoted his entire existence to killing Vampires as opposed to just reading about them.

However both still seemed like the same character in other, more important ways so most even die hard fans didn’t mind those changes.

The Ledger Joker was obsessed with proving his superiority to Batman, yet could never kill him as he acknowledged that no one else could keep up with him, which is exactly the same relationship the comic book Joker has to Batman.

Here compare their dialogue.

Original Joker

(To Batman) “I could never kill you. Where would the act be without my straight man?””

Ledger Joker

You won’t kill me out of some
misplaced sense of self-
righteousness. . . and I won’t kill
you because you ‘ re too much fun .
We’re going to do this forever. 

The Ledger Joker also had mysterious origins just like the original too. We never found out his real name like the comic book Joker, and just like the comic book Joker he told a multitude of different stories about how he came to be, with the implication being that he was so insane, even he didn’t know which, if any of them were real.

“Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes I remember it another. If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice.”

The Ledger Joker meanwhile was also obsessed with proving that ordinary people can be made into monsters just like the original Joker has been throughout much of his history. Indeed the plot for The Dark Knight is similar in some respects toThe Killing Joke, a classic Joker story.

In The Killing Joke the Joker tries to drive Commissioner Gordon insane by crippling his daughter, Barbara Gordon, whilst in the Dark Knight the Ledger Joker famously drives Harvey Dent insane by killing his lover Rachel, and scarring him.

Again look at their dialogue to see how they both have pretty much the exact same motivation.

Original Joker

So… I see you received the free ticket I sent you. I’m glad. I did so want you to be here. You see, it doesn’t matter if you catch me and send me back to the asylum… Gordon’s been driven mad. I’ve proved my point. I’ve demonstrated there’s no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. 
You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up like a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else… only you won’t admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there’s some point to all this struggling! God, you make me want to puke. 
I mean, what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I bet. Something like that… 
Something like that happened to me, you know. I… I’m not exactly sure what it was. 
But my point is… my point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can’t you? I mean, you’re not unintelligent! You must see the reality of the situation. Do you know how many times we’ve come close to World War Three over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you know what triggered the last World War? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed its war debt creditors! Telegraph poles! 
It’s all a joke! Everything everybody ever valued or struggled for… it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? 
Why aren’t you laughing?”
Batman: “Because I heard it before and it wasn’t funny the first time. I spoke to Commissioner Gordon before I came in here. He’s fine. Despite all your sick, vicious little games, he’s as sane as he ever was! So maybe ordinary people don’t crack. Maybe it’s just you.”

 

Ledger Joker

I believe that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.

Madness is like gravity. All it takes is just one little push. 

Batman: What were you hoping to prove? That deep down we’re all as ugly as you? This city just showed you that its full of people ready to believe in good. 

You can see how the dynamic is pretty much the same.

The Ledger Jokers way of operating is also similar to the original. Both make it known to the public that they are going to kill a high profile figure before they do so, both stay ten steps ahead of the police and the Batman, and both also use disguises too.

Finally the Ledger Joker also keeps the villains trademark look. Okay its more dishevelled, but the overall look, green hair, white face, large distinctive grin, pink or purple suit, is still there.

Similarly the Cushing Van Helsing keeps the two defining traits of Van Helsing. That he is an ordinary man with no super powers who has to defeat Vampires using his wits, and cunning, and that he is the world’s greatest expert on Vampires, Demons and monsters.

Now compare these two versions of iconic characters to the Hugh Jackman version of Van Helsing and the 1998 Godzilla and you can see when and why die hard fans DO get angry at characters being changed.

The Hugh Jackman Van Helsing is nothing like the original. He has no knowledge on Vampires, Demons, Werewolves etc. (In fact he has another character there to fulfil that role!). He also has super powers and jumps hundreds of feet through the air, and bends steel with his bare hands.

With this in mind in what way is he Van Helsing except in name only? Similarly the 98 Godzilla is not indestructable, is smaller, weaker, never fights and doesn’t have any firey breath. His design is also not even remotely similar to Godzilla’s. Again much like the Joker, Godzilla’s design has changed over the years yes,  but there is always a blueprint to the Dinosaurs look, which the 98 Godzilla ditches completely.

So in what way is the 98 Godzilla, Godzilla?

Fans disliked these versions because in a way they felt like an insult to the original character. Essentially someone was coming along and saying that Van Helsing and Godzilla were boring, or silly heroes, so lets do our version that has nothing to do with the original, whilst using the name Van Helsing and Godzilla to sell our product and trick people who actually like them into watching it.

At the end of the day I don’t think that most fans mind a character being changed in some way, just as long as they are still recognisable as the character they are supposed to be

Sadly however the media with its anti nerd bias will often smear fanboys as being so unreasonable that they can’t stand ANY change. Thus fans who want to remain true to the character are often slandered as the worst type of people to pander to.

They are ALWAYS portrayed as the types who are out of touch with what the public want, want their product to be something for them only, are irrational and entitled etc.

The great irony is that whenever the more faithful and purist types of fans get their hands on a franchise they tend to do a better job with both the public and critics.

Take for instance Batman. The DCAU (a series of animated shows and films based on DC comics, which includes Batman the Animated Series) was made by purist fans.

Bruce Timm and Paul Dini the two major creative forces behind the DCAU, were huge fans of DC comics and they wanted to make their versions as faithful as possible. Of course they changed a few things around, but overall they tried to remain faithful to the history of the characters they were adapting.

The result was what many deem to be the greatest versions of icons like Batman and Superman, a Saturday morning cartoon so popular that it made its way to prime time tv, and a franchise that ran for almost 15 years.

Similarly Christopher Nolan was a huge Batman fan who whilst making it more realistic and gritty, still tried to stay true to the original Batman mythos. He even cited the Jokers first ever appearance as his main inspiration for The Dark Knight.

The result? The most successful live action version of Batman.

The 2014 version of Godzilla is yet another example. Its director, Gareth Edwards outright said that he wanted this version to be more faithful than the 98 version, and it was. The 2014 Godzilla restored his atomic breath, followed the template of the original Godzilla design, and made him both indestructable to human weapons, and a ferocious fighter, taking down other monsters, just like the big G we all knew and loved from the Toho films.

 

You can see how the 2014 version is basically just an old Godzilla movie,  but with updated effects.

The result was that this version of Godzilla was a massive success both critically and commercially and will be the start of a new series unlike the 98 version which crashed and burned with critics and audiences.

I think people tend to cite 80s Doctor Who as proof that pandering to die hard fans will kill a show. In the 80s Doctor Who’s producer John Nathan Turner hired superfan Ian Levine as a continuity adviser. Many believe that Levine forced JNT to include too many references to the past and that this was the reason the shows viewers tanked.

Personally however I’ve always found that to be a weak reason, often given by self loathing fanboys. Whilst its true that there are probably too many continuity references in the Davison and Colin Baker eras (when Levine was present.) At the same time there were far more important reasons as to why 80s Doctor Who suffered a fall in viewers.

To start with the BBC at the time HATED Doctor Who and its production team and openly admitted to wanting to sabotage it.

They cancelled it in 1985 when its viewers were still strong (and the shows overseas following was bigger than ever.) Though they brought it back after 18 months, by that time it had lost a lot of viewers in the wilderness.

They also gave it no advertising, slashed its already small budget, raised prices of stories abroad to the point where no one could afford them, and put it up against Coronation Street which was the death slot. They also fired its leading man, (and even went against the terms of his contract.) And refused to allow its producer to leave when he wanted for 5 years, all of which made working on DW look like career suicide to anyone in the industry.

All of this contributed to its death far more than a couple of little continuity references in the Davison and Colin Baker eras. Really I’d go as far as to argue that Ian Levine played NO role in the death of Doctor Who. (I might add that Levine wasn’t even there for the shows last 4 years, which is when the real fall in viewers and critical acclaim began.)

Still even if you can lay the blame at Levine’s door, the decline of 80s Who is nowhere near as bad as the following ways in which other types of fans have wrecked franchises.

80s Who simply saw the show lose its popularity. At the end of the day Doctor Who was still Doctor Who when it finished in 1989. The Master was still the Doctors archenemy who hated him and wanted him dead, the Doctor was still the same grandfatherly, eccentric scientist we knew and loved. It could be brought back at any time with no baggage. The same is not true now.

3/ The Shipper Fans

We all have couples that we like, characters that we want to see get together, but these people take it to a whole other level.

The shipper fans will write fiction devoted entirely to their preferred couples, but even then that’s not what bothers me. I mean hey I may not like those kinds of stories, but if other people do, more power to them I say.

What bothers me about shipper fans (not all) is the way they will often bully and harass other fans and even the makers and producers of the product they are “Fans” of until they all pander to them in some way.

People are often too scared to say anything back to shipper fans, because they often assume they are women. Male nerds are petrified of ever disagreeing with a woman out of fear of being labelled a sad man baby who doesn’t want women being a part of his favourite franchise.

Of course the great irony is that there are just as many male shipper fans as female shipper fans. Indeed its often the male shipper fans that actually bring this shit into the franchise itself like with Batman and the Joker, the Doctor and the Master, and even The Mekon and Dan Dare.

Still the stereotypical image is of a young woman sitting on her laptop writing erotic fan fiction, so most nerds will be too scared to say anything against them.

Also in recent decades as shipper fans have begun to focus more on same sex pairings, if you say you disagree or dislike their interpretation of certain characters relationships then you are slandered as a homophobe.

Thus sadly the Shipper fans, despite being far more unreasonable, far more entitled and having far more of a visible influence in the downfall of fandoms, characters and franchises are often treated more favourably and pandered to by the media and the producers of various series than the purists.

On the one hand we will get purist fans being told they are sad gits who should get a life, whilst on the other we will get actors and writers apologising to shipper fans for supposedly “queer baiting them” whatever the fuck that means.

Queerbaiting is more frustrating than ever

Fan Complaining At Queerbaiting Trailer

The worst thing about Shipper fans is not even that they often have an influence, but also that they are by far and away the most infantile fans in any fandom.

They reduce every single relationship to being about sex. Now I’m no prude. I have no problem with romantic relationships in genre series, either straight or gay. But there is a time and a place, and not every single relationship has to be devolved into that.

Thanks to the Shipper fans influence so many iconic characters and relationships  have all been rewritten to be more romantic, and consequently made less interesting and unique.

Take a look at Spike and Buffy for instance. Spike from seasons 2-4 was a very interesting and unique Vampire. He was a practical self server, who was happy to work alongside the vilest villains, and the heroes if it benefited him in some way.

In season 2 Spike agrees to help Buffy save the world. Whilst his main motivation is to get Angelus away from his girlfriend, Drusilla, Spike also does genuinely want to save the world because he likes it the way it is.

“We like to talk big.  Vampires do. ‘I’m going to destroy the world.’  That’s just tough guy
talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world.
You’ve got dog racing, Manchester United. And you’ve got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It’s all right here.

But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly.  Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I’m saying”

Its an interesting idea that a Vampire, or a Demon wouldn’t actually want to destroy the world, not because he has fought the Demon inside of him, or found love, but for purely selfish reasons.

In this respect Spike would actually prove influential on the character of Crowley from Supernatural. Crowley much like Spike is an unquestionably evil monster, a Demon, but he still nevertheless helps the main heroes to save the world solely for his own safety, and later regularly flips back and forth between working against and with the heroes for his own reasons.

Sadly however from season 5 on Spike, suddenly out of nowhere, fell head over heels in love with Buffy. This was simply because Buffy and Spike were popular characters, played by two attractive and sexy leads, and shipper fans wanted to see them get together.

So Joss Whedon, ever the fan panderer, rewrote it that Spike has always been in love with Buffy, and that was the real reason he worked with her in season 2 to save the world.

Now in all fairness the Buffy/Spike romance wasn’t completely terrible, unlike some other forced ships. Still it definitely made Spike less interesting and less unique.

How many times have we seen a Vampire become a good guy because he falls in love with someone? Its the biggest cliche in all of Vampire fiction. Spike from season 2-4 was something new. Also Buffy itself had already had a romantic Vampire anyway, with Angel whose relationship with Buffy dominated the first 3 seasons of the show.

For seasons 5-7 of Buffy Spike really just becomes Angel mark 2. They repeat all of the same beats they did with Angel. Like Angel he gets a soul, like Angel he is in love with Buffy and wants to be a better man for her, and like Angel he goes bad again after getting that soul, before getting it back and becoming a champion.

Its not until season 5 of Angel that Spike is able to become the Spike of old again, but by this stage, his entire character had been dominated by his love for Buffy to the point where sadly that’s all the character is remembered for in popular culture. Another romantic Vampire.

This brilliant article which you should read if you have the time sums up why Supernatural in some ways did a better job with Crowley than Buffy did with Spike.

Why Fergus (Crowley) Went Right Where William (Spike) Went Wrong

Its not even as though the actors were happy with the Buffy and Spike relationship. Sarah Michelle Gellar hated the story, feeling that it diminished her character, and James Marsters is never done complaining about how much of a pussy Spike became from season 5 on.

Though the Buffy/Spike pairing is popular, it is also without doubt the most polarising relationship in the show, and indeed many fans feel that the later seasons of Buffy, particularly the last 2, where the Buffy/Spike relationship takes centre stage are among the weakest.

A more extreme version of a character being ruined by shipping fans is the Master from Doctor Who.

The Master for those of you who don’t know is the Doctors archenemy. He is a time lord just like the Doctor. The Masters aim in the original series is to take control of planets like the earth because he believes that under his rule, he can make them better places.

His logic in some ways is sound. As a Time Lord the Master will have knowledge of the future and so he will help humanity avert disasters, wars, alien invasions. Everything from the Titanic sinking, to the Second World War, to the Dalek Invasion of the 22nd century he can stop.

The Master with his intellect can also give races like humanity technology that can cure diseases, end hunger, explore space, and he can also using his alien intellect end all inequalities too.

Whilst the Master is also motivated by his own selfish lust for power, he does genuinely believe that when he rules he will be benevolent and can justify many of his most heinous crimes to the Doctor as being for a greater good.

See here.

JUDGE: Counsel for the defence may now cross examine the witness

THE MASTER: Thank you, your honour.

THE DOCTOR: Of all the infernal… You don’t mean to tell me he’s defending himself?

THE MASTER: Sadly, yes. Sir Roderick met with a most unfortunate accident.

THE DOCTOR: Yes… I’m quite sure that he did.

THE MASTER: Would the court please make note of the witness’s hostile attitude. The Doctor is a very old, and, may I say, a very dear aquaintance, but sometimes a little incautious and hot headed in his choice of language.

THE DOCTOR: I’m not hot headed, you scoundrel. 

THE MASTER: Do make a note of that.

THE DOCTOR: Now see here…

THE MASTER: I really think, Doctor, it may be best if you take a nice deep breath. I say this, speaking as a friend.

THE DOCTOR: I am no friend of yours!

THE MASTER: Indeed? The whole court has heard you give an impassioned speech asking for me to be shown clemency. Who but a friend would do that?

THE DOCTOR: A merciful man.

THE MASTER: A humane one?

THE DOCTOR: Yes.

THE MASTER: But it is these very humane humans of yours that wish to put me to death.

THE DOCTOR: Well… you’ve killed hundreds and tried destroy their planet half a dozen times.

THE MASTER: I dispute that last statement. I really must protest. I have not tried to destroy this planet. I will admit I have, perhaps encouraged regime change on several occasions.

THE DOCTOR: You admit it!

THE MASTER: The human race is not very advanced is it Doctor? They still, for example practise the death penalty.

THE DOCTOR: Yes…

THE MASTER: They regard all alien life as hostile and frequently wipe it out in their encounters with it.

THE DOCTOR: That is regrettable.

THE MASTER: You see, ladies and gentlemen of the court, please don’t take this amiss, but as a species you’re not experienced enough. You are likely to misconstrue the actions of other species simply because you cannot yet comprehend them. You may perceive our actions as a threat when really they are a benevolent attempt to bring you advancement. Would you not agree, Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: I would not!

THE MASTER: So, when you brokered a peace treaty with the Silurians, what was the reaction of the human race?

THE DOCTOR: They, er, well, they blew them up.

THE MASTER: They destroyed an ancient civilisation? Dear me, hardly the action of an advanced species. Is it, Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: No. No, on that I must agree. But humanity is… well… I mean, for a level 2 civilisation, they’re doing remarkably well.

THE MASTER: A level 2 civilisation! Would you care to define a level 2 civilisation?

THE DOCTOR: I’m not really sure I should.

THE MASTER: Come now, Doctor. You introduced it into evidence?

THE DOCTOR: Very well. A level 2 civilisation is one that has discovered elementary space travel, hydrocarbons, antibiotics and the principles of nuclear fission.

THE MASTER: A capital definition. And what do most level 2 civilisations do with the discovery of nuclear fission?

THE DOCTOR: They build power stations.

THE MASTER: But what, would you say, is the principal use made of it by humanity?

THE DOCTOR: Oh, that’s hardly fair. Its how humanity learns, they find a thing and their first use is always.

THE MASTER: Yes Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: In weapons. They make nuclear weapons.

THE MASTER: And how would such a development be viewed by, say, a level 3 civilisation?

THE DOCTOR: As barbaric. But..

THE MASTER: Barbaric! And tell me Doctor. What level is our own race?

THE DOCTOR: Ah, ah, well, a level 12 civilisation.

THE MASTER: So would you say you are more qualified to judge humanity’s actions than they are?

THE DOCTOR: Er…

THE MASTER: I’ll rephrase the question. Are they qualified to judge your actions?

THE DOCTOR: Certainly not.

THE MASTER: So are they qualified to judge me? All right let me put it to you. I stand here accused of being now what is it, ah yes under article 18B of the Emergency Powers Act of being of hostile origin or association, and of committing acts prejudicial to public safety. Doctor I dispute these allegations, and you are going to help me prove them false.

THE DOCTOR: I have absolutely no intention of helping you.

THE MASTER: Since arriving on this planet, would you not agree that I have revolutionised the efficiency of the plastics manufacturing industry?

THE DOCTOR: Yes, but

THE MASTER: Thank you. I’ll admit my methods were aggressive, but oh so human. And have I not also had remarkable results with the elimination of psychopathic tendencies in the criminal mind.

THE DOCTOR: Only by

THE MASTER: I’m afraid its a yes or no question.

THE DOCTOR: Yes, but

THE MASTER: And finally, did I not offer humanity a remarkable solution to its energy crisis?

THE DOCTOR: Fine, yes fine. But in every case

THE MASTER: I know, I know. My good intentions were rebuffed and misconstructed. Surely, however even you can agree with my actions in Devils End.

THE DOCTOR: Not in the slightest.

THE MASTER: Come now. Who better to sit in judgement on a level 2 civilisation than its creator, Azal of the Daemons. We can both see the mess this species is in. You can choose to do nothing. I tried, oh how I tried, and then when that failed, I appealed to Azal, hoping he could shape and reform it. Instead regrettably, he wrote the experiment off. Wasn’t that what happened, Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: Well… yes. If it hadn’t been for Miss Grant. You’re leaving out your actions on Uxarieus, where you tried to take control of.

THE MASTER: Where I attempted peacefully to adjudicate on a dispute between worthy pioneers and a legitimate mining concern. But I’m fairly certain Doctor that events on ther planets are outside the jurisdiction of this court, and should not be brought into play. 

THE DOCTOR: They prove that you want to play God.

THE MASTER: Merely to improve the existence of the common lot, I assure you. I am on this planet for its own good.

THE DOCTOR: If not the good of its population.

THE MASTER: Now, that is unfair, Doctor. I try my best. What more can anyone say? 

At first The Master believes that the Doctor can be a possible ally. The Master hates the Time Lords because he believes that they waste their great power. However the Doctor who as far as he knows is the only other Time Lord who has left Gallifrey and gone into the universe and had an influence. He genuinely hoped that the Doctor could help him build his better galaxy.
MASTER: We’re both Time Lords, we’re both renegades. We could be masters of the galaxy! Think of it, Doctor, absolute power! Power for good. Why, you could reign benevolently, you could end wars, suffering, disease. We could save the universe. 

Of course when it becomes apparent that the Doctor is never going to join the Master, the Master sees him as his biggest threat and tries to destroy him. The more the Master fails however and the more his killing is for nothing, the more the Master grows to despise the Doctor to the point where it at certain points becomes the Masters main motivation to make the Doctor suffer.

Later stories also see the Master lose his regenerations and end up in a burnt out husk of a body and see him try to extend his life. Still the Masters desire for power does always persist.

Every single Classic era story gives the Master one of the following three motivations. Lust for power, revenge on the Doctor, and desire to prolong his own miserable life.

As time goes on the villains hatred for the Doctor as well as whatever it is that scarred him and took away his regenerations drags him further and further into madness and turns him into a monster.

The Doctor in turn always regarded the Master as evil. As early as the Masters second appearance, the Doctor tried to kill the Master even when the villain agreed to flee as the Doctor believed he was too big a threat to the rest of the universe.

JO: But I don’t see why you’re so upset. If you give him (the Master) back the circuit and he hands over the missile 
DOCTOR: You just don’t understand, do you, Jo? Once he gets that circuit back he’s free to roam through time and space. We’d never catch him. 
JO: Then you’ll just have to give in. The Master’s got the missile and all we’ve got is this wretched machine. 
DOCTOR: Jo, will you stop stating the obvious. What did you say? 
JO: I said all we’ve got is this machine. 
DOCTOR: Well, that’s it. That’s the answer. We’ve got the machine and we’ve got our friend, Barnham. 
JO: I don’t understand. 
DOCTOR: With a little help from you, old chap, we can destroy this machine and the Master at the same time.

MASTER: (After the Doctor attempted to trap him in a place that was about to blow up) Ah Doctor I was afraid you’d be worried about me, so I thought I’d let you know that I’m alive and well.

DOCTOR: I’m extremely sorry to hear that!

DOCTOR: Well, I didn’t actually see him (the Master) fall, you know. I was quite busy. 
ENGIN: Oh, but if by some miracle he survived the fall into that chasm, he was dying anyway. 
DOCTOR: There was a good deal of power coming out of that monolith, and the Sash would have helped him to convert it. 
SPANDRELL: Are you suggesting he survived? 
DOCTOR: No, no, I hope not, Spandrell. And there’s no one else in all the galaxies I’d say that about. The quintessence of evil.

There was never ANY sexual tension between them. In fact Roger Delgado, the actor who originated the role of the Master believer that he was actually the Doctors brother, and the two creators of the Master, Terrance Dicks and Barry Letts intended to reveal this in the Masters final story which was sadly never made as Delgado was tragically killed in a car accident. Still as Delgado and Jon Pertwee always intended them to be brothers, it doesn’t seem likely that either they or the writers added in a sexual element does it?

John Nathan Turner who produced all of the stories with Anthony Ainley’s version of the Master also said that the he always considered the Master to be the Doctors brother, and came close to revealing it.

The only other incarnation of the Master was the burned Master, who was a rotting corpse so it can be taken for granted that there was no sexual tension there!

Sadly however throughout the 90s the shipper fans began to dominate Who fandom and for some reason insisted that there was a gay subtext between the Master and the Doctor.

Even though there demonstrably wasn’t a gay subtext, the shipper fans just kept claiming there was (often by taking lines and scenes out of context) until it became received wisdom. Its like Lenin says. A lie repeated enough times becomes fact.

See here. Doctor Who Foe Yay

When many of these shipper fans like Paul Cornell, Steven Moffat and Russell T Davies brought the show back, they started to make it canon that the Master wanted to shag the Doctor which eventually culminated in the Master changing his sex, falling in love with the Doctor, trying to shag him almost every time he met him, and French kissing him!

The Master I grew up with. A relentless and effective villain who still tries to kill the Doctor even as his world crumbles!

What Shipper fans did to the character. Yes SHE is actually meant to be the same character as the one in the cloak above!

The Master was completely destroyed as a character by being made into basically the Doctors jealous ex.

To start with his motivations became less interesting. Before he was a megolomaniac who believed that he would reshape the cosmos in his own image. Now SHE is only interested in winning the Doctor back as her boyfriend.

Her plans all revolve around getting the Doctor back from about 2014 on. Not once does the female Master attempt to take over the earth.

In Death in Heaven she creates an indestructable Cyber army as a present to give the Doctor, whilst in The Magicians Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar she doesn’t even have a plan until the end when she can kill Clara, a rival for the Doctors affections. Throughout all of  season 10 meanwhile all she does is try and go good so she can be with her ex boyfriend.

The villain has been completely undermined and reduced to nothing but a jealous ex of the Doctor, and his past characterisation of hating the Doctor has also been made a mockery of too. Now it just looks like the Master was overcompensating because he couldn’t accept being gay for the Doctor.

Here some dialogue from the Classic era Master.

No, we could not have used anyone. You do not understand hatred as I understand it. Only hate keeps me alive. Why else would I endure this pain (holds his shaking, burned hand up.) I must see the Doctor die in shame and dishonour. Yes, and I must destroy the Time Lords. Nothing else matters. NOTHING!

Here some dialogue from the female Master.

Oh Clara, Clara, Clara, I might shoot her in a jealous rage, now wouldn’t that be sexy.

My hearts are maintained by the Doctor.

(To the Doctor) I have two hearts. Both yours.

Show a bad girl how its done.

(About the Doctor) I want my friend back.

Of course anyone who is angry at the Master being vandalised in this way has been tarred as a sexist, homophobe by the shipper fans.

Other iconic relationships that have similarly been degraded by either pandering to shipper fans, or shipper fans going on to write for the show, comic etc, are Batman and the Joker, the Green Goblin and Spider-Man, Dan Dare and the Mekon, Buffy and Faith, Superman and Lex Luthor, and Holmes and Moriarty.

Here is a list of some of them.

Comic Books Foe Yay

None of these characters have been downgraded quite as much as the Master of course, but still writers have attempt to explain away the Jokers obsession with Batman, The Green Goblins obsession with Spider-Man and Moriarty’s obsession with Holmes as all being because they are secretly in love with the hero and can’t admit it.

In all cases much like the Master and the Doctor, this not only makes characters like the Joker and the Goblin all much less effective villains, but it also makes their relationships with their archenemies boring too. They are all basically the fucking same as each other now.

It seems no one can have a villain/hero relationship that doesn’t get back to sex. It was always frustrating the way no one could ever have a villain and hero of the opposite gender to one another who weren’t attracted to each other at some point.

Even if that wasn’t the original intention like Spike and Buffy, someone somewhere would come along and write that in.

Now however it seems we can’t even have a villain and a hero who are of the same sex without someone making it all about sex. Even if said characters are not gay or bisexual, it doesn’t matter. Somewhere some hack writer will add a sexual element and think he is being really edgy by doing so.

Again I’m not saying don’t ever have a romantic relationship between a villain and a hero. I rather liked Ares and Xena for instance. It wasn’t perfect, but at least it made sense. Ares from the second he first appeared on screen clearly had a powerful attraction to Xena, so it didn’t just spring out of nowhere and contradict the characters entire history like Spike and the Master.

Still don’t drag it into every single fucking relationship. Its infantile if you can’t conceive of two characters having a rivalry, or a relationship of any kind that doesn’t revolve around sex.

Was there sexual tension between Hitler and Churchill for instance? They were rivals. By these people’s logic it has to be because they were secretly gay for each other and couldn’t admit it.

Shipper fans should always be held at bay. NEVER apologies to them for supposedly queer baiting like Misha Collins and Steven Moffat have both done in the past. NEVER change two characters relationship simply because they are a popular pairing in fan circles, and NEVER pander to shipper fans in any way shape or form. Even if its just one character making a joke like Dean to Castiel, they’ll jump on that and use that as proof to later vandalise said character when they get hold of the franchise.

2/ SJW fans

Yes I know old ground for me. I won’t spend too long on this as I have covered why I hate these people in other articles, but I can’t not mention them when talking about awful types of fans can I?

SJW, which stands for Social Justice Warriors, is an ironic, mocking term used to refer to those who see themselves as the modern day versions of Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks etc, but focus on trivial bullshit and end up becoming genuinely bigoted themselves.

At first glance most impartial people will probably think “well what’s wrong with SJWs? All they want is stronger roles for women, black people, LGBT people etc”.

Thing is that’s not just what they want. Obviously the overwhelming majority of sci fi and fantasy fans have 0 problem with LGBT characters, female characters or black characters.

Some of the genres biggest hits have starred LGBT characters, black characters and female characters. Xena, Buffy, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Blade, Spawn, Alien, Terminator, Red Dwarf etc.

SJW fans however want to inject their own very particular and poisonous brand of  politics into a product until it completely takes it over.

Female, black, LGBT characters have to remind us every three seconds that they are all of those things, and in a condescending way to the viewer that’s basically the writer saying “I bet you people watching at home are shocked to see someone non white, non straight on tv!”

On top of this, white male characters will have to be full of self loathing for being white, and will have to be emasculated and constantly insulted by the smug black/LGBT/female character for having white male privilege.

Case in point.

See what I mean this is not simply having a black or an LGBT character and people going crazy because they can’t take it, as the SJWs often like to paint it.

Xena was bisexual and had many romances with men AND women throughout her 6 year long series, yet funnily enough no one cared and Xena was the most popular cult series in the world at that point (being shown in more countries than classic who ever was!)

It might be because Xena was a fully fleshed out character, and didn’t have to virtue signal about being LGBT, or go on about hating white men every two seconds, or comment on the petty Presidential politics of the time in a way that would date her in about 5 years!

Red Dwarf’s main character is a black man, and NOT once is it mentioned that he is black. Think of all the things Lister insults Rimmer for. Not once does he go on about Rimmer having white privilege. In fact he is very sympathetic to Rimmers problems about his dad, but just thinks he is a smeg head all around.

SJW fans also want to change or replace already existing characters too. The likes of Thor, Wolverine, and Iron Man have all been killed off and replaced with female characters taking up the mantle.

Others meanwhile as we have seen like the Doctor and the Master have been rewritten to be transexual, bisexual, lesbian lovers!

Again nobody has a problem with a hero being a woman, bisexual or transexual, but create your own heroes that are that. Killing off a fan favourite like Wolverine is obviously going to anger his fans, and similarly completely changing the Master from the Doctors nemesis, to his jealous gay lover is obviously going to annoy his fans, because now we won’t get to see a Master story anymore. We’ll have to watch a story with Missy, who is a totally different character in every way.

However anyone with these legit complaints will be shouted down and outright abused by SJWs as a bigot, a manbaby etc.

Case in point.

On top of this when not running a show, SJWs will always get their way by abusing the makers and producers in the media.

The most notable example of this was when SJWs and feminists launched a smear campaign against Steven Moffat, the former producer of DW from about 2011 on. They accused him of being everything, sexist, homophobic, racist, abelist etc, until by a bizarre coincidence he started doing everything they wanted from about 2014 on (to the extreme detriment of the show, like Missy.)

See here.

Trigger Warning Sexual Assault in Doctor Who

Problematic Posters For Doctor Who

Why Does The Man Behind Doctor Who Still Have A Job

Asylum of the Daleks is Problematic

Doctor Who Is Racist New Book Claims

New Doctor New Direction

SJWs are bullies and fanatics who always get their own way, which is not surprisingly why die hard fans hate them. The shows, video games and comic books they take over will often fail with mainstream viewers just as badly as they will focus solely on the fact that they have black, LGBT people, female characters at the expense of everything else (like you know having a fucking story. See Ghostbusters 2016.)

They foolishly think they can sell something on diversity alone which in a way is insulting to the minorities they claim to be fighting for. Apparently an LGBT sci fi fan doesn’t care about well written stories, or interesting, thought provoking ideas and concepts. All you need to get them watching is just to have two guys, or two women make out and that’s it. They are apparently a very easy audience.

Finally SJWs won’t even remain loyal to the thing they claim to be a fan of. They are professional victims who always want to be offended. You could have the most diverse cast imaginable and they’d still find a way for it be racist.

Here are some examples of them eating their own.

So with this in mind why would anyone want these people as their audience?

You’ll drive away everyone but a tiny minority and said minority will still slander you as being sexist!

Pandering to SJWs has sunk every single franchise that’s done it, from Ghostbusters to Doctor Who, but incredibly enough, SJWs as much as I despise them are not the worst fans out there.

1/ Self Loathing Fans

The most destructive fan of them all. The self loathing fan is someone who is embarrassed to be a nerd and tries to get round it in many ways.

To start with they are happy for their favourite franchise or series to completely change if they think that it will be popular among the masses. They will justify these changes with a stupid motto of “all change is good, because the franchise or series changed in the past”.

Of course no one is saying that ALL change is bad. However its equally stupid to say all change is good. Take change on a case by case basis.

The self loathing fan if he is male will also have a patronising attitude towards women. He will be desperate not to be seen as the stereotype of a nerd who can’t stand women liking sci fi or fantasy, so he will not only agree with a female nerd on ANYTHING, but will abuse any male fan she is arguing with as a sad “ming mong” fan.

The self loathing fan if they are male will almost always go on about how much they care about representation and will display some manufactured anger at how there are apparently no female heroes. “It makes me sick to see another cis white het dude cast as Batman/the Doctor/ James Bond” or something like that.

He will of course be in favour of male characters being changed into women too, like Doctor Who, even if he isn’t a fan of said hero. The great irony is that he will most likely not be a fan of ANY female led shows. Xena, Buffy, Charmed, Earth 2, Ghost Whisperer, Star Trek Voyager, Once Upon A Time. You’ll be lucky if he has two of these in his collection.

He also won’t have any black led films and tv shows like Red Dwarf, Blade, or any foreign genre films and tv series such as the classic Chinese horror films like Mr Vampire, A Chinese Ghost Story etc.

His DVD, book and music collections will be the most testosterone filled, white, heteronormative collections you’ve ever seen. But that will be why he is so self loathing. He actually thinks this makes him sexist, racist and homophobic.

Of course you could never prefer say Doctor Who to Charmed, because it might just be your thing more. No it has to be because you have been raised in a society that hates women.

See here for an example of this type of fan. Steve Shives, a notorious feminist who thinks that preferring Angel to Buffy makes him a sexist!

Now you might be inclined to feel sorry for this type of fan more than the shippers or the SJWs as they are bullied, but ultimately they are the worst as they are the fans who allow the SJWs and the shippers to wreak havoc on beloved franchises.

The likes of Steven Moffat, Chris Chibnall are self loathing fanboys who gave into the SJWs because they foolishly thought they were the “cool kids” that they had to get liking their show.

Take a look at these quotes from Steven Moffat about Doctor Who in the 90s.

Back when I was in my early twenties, I thought Doctor Who was the scariest programme on television. I had one particular Who-inspired nightmare which haunts me to this day — except it wasn’t a nightmare at all, it was something that happened to me on a regular basis. I’d be sitting watching Doctor Who on a Saturday, absolutely as normal… but I’d be in the company of my friends!!

Being a fan is an odd thing, isn’t it? I was in little doubt — though I never admitted it, even to myself — that Doctor Who was nowhere near as good as it should have been, but for whatever reason I’d made that mysterious and deadly emotional connection with the show that transforms you into a fan and like a psychotically devoted supporter of a floundering football club, I turned out every Saturday in my scarf, grimly hoping the production team would finally score.

Of course my friends all knew my devotion to the Doctor had unaccountably survived puberty and had long since ceased to deride me for it. I think (I hope) they generally considered me someone of reasonable taste and intelligence and decided to indulge me in this one, stunningly eccentric lapse. And sometimes, on those distant Saturday afternoons before domestic video my nightmare would begin. I’d be stuck out somewhere with those friends and I’d realise in a moment of sweaty panic that I wasn’t going to make it home in time for the programme—or worse, they’ d be round at my house not taking the hint to leave — so on my infantile insistence we’d all troop to the nearest television and settle down to watch, me clammy with embarrassment at what was to come, my friends tolerant, amused and even open-minded.

And the music would start. And I’d grip the arms of my chair. And I’d pray! Just this once, I begged, make it good. Not great, not fantastic —just good. Don’t, I was really saying, show me up.

And sometimes it would start really quite well. There might even be a passable effects shot (there were more of those than you might imagine) and possibly a decent establishing scene where this week’s expendable guest actors popped outside to investigate that mysterious clanking/groaning/beeping/slurping sound before being found horribly killed/gibbering mad an episode later.

At this point I might actually relax a little. I might even start breathing and let my hair unclench. And then it would be happen. The star of the show would come rocketing through the door, hit a shuddering halt slap in the middle of the set and stare at the camera like (and let’s be honest here) a complete moron.

I’d hear my friends shifting in their chairs. I could hear sniggers tactfully suppressed. Once one of them remarked (with touching gentleness, mindful of my feelings) that this really wasn’t terribly good acting.

Of course, as even they would concede, Tom Baker (for it was he) had been good once — even terrific — but he had long since disappeared up his own art in a seven-year-long act of self-destruction that took him from being a dangerous young actor with a future to a sad, mad old ham safely locked away in a voice-over booth.

Which brings us, of course, to Peter Davison (for it was about to be him). I was appalled when he was cast. I announced to my bored and blank-faced friends that Davison was far too young, far too pretty, and far, far too wet to play television’s most popular character (as, I deeply regret to say, I described the Doctor). Little did I realise, back in 1982, that after years of anxious waiting on the terraces in my front room, my home team were about to score — or that Davison was about to do something almost never before seen in the role of the Doctor. He was going to act.

Let’s get something straight, because if you don’t know now it’s time you did. Davison was the best of the lot. Number One! It’s not a big coincidence or some kind of evil plot, that he’s played more above-the-title lead roles on the telly than the rest of the Doctors put together. It’s because-get this!-he’s the best actor.

You don’t believe me? Okay, let’s check out the opposition, Doctor-wise (relax, I’ll be gentle).

1. William Hartnell. Look, he didn’t know his lines! (okay, fairly gentle. It wasn’t his fault) and it’s sort of a minimum requirement of the lead actor dial he knows marginally more about what’s going to happen next than the audience. In truth, being replaceable was his greatest gift to the series. Had the first Doctor delivered a wonderful performance they almost certainly would not have considered a recast and the show would have died back in the sixties.

2. Patrick Troughton. Marvellous! Troughton, far more than the dispensable, misremembered Hartnell, was the template for the Doctors to come and indeed his performance is the most often cited as precedent for his successors. Trouble is, the show in those days was strictly for indulgent ten-year-olds (and therefore hard to judge as an adult). Damn good, though, and Davison’s sole competitor.

3. Jon Pertwee. The idea of a sort of Jason King with a sillier frock isn’t that seductive, really, is it? In fairness he carried a certain pompous gravitas and was charismatic enough to dominate the proceedings as the Doctor should. Had his notion of the character been less straightforwardly heroic he might have pulled off something a little more interesting. His Worzel Gummidge, after all,is inspired and wonderful.

4. Tom Baker. Thunderingly effective at the start, even if his interpretation did seem to alter entirely to fit this week’s script. (Compare, say, THE SEEDS OF DOOM and THE CITY OF DEATH. Is this supposed to be the same person?) I think I’ve said quite enough already about his sad decline so let’s just say that it’s nice to see him back on top form in Medics. Well, is was while it lasted.

5. Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy. Miscast and floundering. Neither made much impression on the role and none at all on the audience. Or at least on me.

So with this in mind its not hard to see how the feminists and SJWs were able to bully Moff into changing everything about Doctor Who. Someone who actually cared about Doctor Who would have stood up to them, but Moff who liked the show, but ultimately was embarrassed by it was happy to change it to fit the tastes of what he thought were the current generation of “cool kids”.

New Who to be fair was always run by self loathing fanboys, hence its willingness to throw away time honoured traits of the character of the Doctor such as his asexuality, in order to appeal to the youth. It worked for a short while in the Eccelston and Tennant eras, but ultimately when you run a show that way you are going to put money on the wrong horse, and that’s what happened when Moffat, like all celebs sealed off in their own little bubble, thought Social Justice was what the kids were into, and wanted to win favour with them.

The same is true for other franchises too such as Star Wars, where the self loathing fanboys like Wil Wheaton have at the very least shouted down all fans who have ANY complaints as sexists and bigots.

If it weren’t for the self loathing fanboys then our greatest sci fi franchises like Doctor Who and Star Wars would not be in the awful state they are in right now.

Even long before the SJWs showed up however the self loathing fans were responsible for some shitty remakes and sequels. The 98 Godzilla was an example of self loathing fanboyism for instance.

Dean Delvin its writer was a big Godzilla fan, yet he was embarrassed that if he actually made Godzilla, then people would laugh at him, or it wouldn’t do well. So he decided to change Godzilla to be more like Jurassic Park (which was popular at that time. Still is of course, but that was the height of Jurassic Park mania.)

The current unholy trinity of self loathing fans, SJWs and Shipper fans has led to the devastation of franchises like never before and its time that the purist fans started to fight back.

Thank you for reading.